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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Someone told me I wasn’t thinking clearly, as if that’s even an option.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

I see stand-up comedy as a stepping stone to television. A few more paid gigs and I’ll be able to afford a television.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

You’re all using your crystals wrong. Put them in a sock and start swinging.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Lou Read is the name of my favorite musician and also the book I keep in the toilet.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Hot girls have a private Instagram account with 20 followers.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Here’s to a new year of making the same old mistakes, but with far more enthusiasm.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Ugh, those red and blue flashing lights are interfering with my driving and scrolling.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Love how you can hear the crowd constantly forgetting the queen died and singing “God save the Quing”

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

The heels stay on during sex because I only painted the toe nails that were showing.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

783 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,945

Funny Quotes Topics

13,916

Funny Quotes Images

10,945

Updated

52 minutes ago

Users Online

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

Descibe your boobs only using a picture of them.

Going viral on YouTube:

Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.

Trending via Instagram:

My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

Spreading quickly via X:

You’re like if “nope” was a person.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Shopping at the dollar store makes me feel rich and poor all at the same time.

Just shared via Snapchat:

She calls me Anthony Bourdain because I eat her parts unknown, no reservations.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

So tonight me and my phone are playing hide and seek. So far my phone is winning.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Offering someone food, and secretly hoping, they don’t want it.

Freshly posted on Threads:

A bathrobe is being naked with plausible deniability and pockets.

Trending via Snapchat:

Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

783 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,945

Funny Quotes Topics

13,916

Funny Quotes Images

10,945

Updated

52 minutes ago

Users Online

3,416

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Sugar held my hand through every breakup.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

I never forget to eat, but I do eat to forget.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

I hope all of you get laid and not laid off this year. Amen.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

An email so annoying, you wanna return the computer to the store.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Considering that doctors are never on time, they should tell you to come a half hour late, not early.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Finally my winter fat has gone. I now have spring rolls.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

I’d never pick the lesser of two evils because that means they’re not even good at being evil either.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on YouTube:

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you’re full of energy and you can’t wait to get to work? Me neither!

Trending via Pinterest:

I’m changing the game. I’m starting to thank people from the top of my heart.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The recipe I’m making specifically says allow to cook undisturbed, and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

Freshly posted on X:

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your parents are very disappointed in you.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Why would I date a nonchalant man? I like my men how I like my thong.

Going viral on Threads:

Shopping at the dollar store makes me feel rich and poor all at the same time.

Making waves on X:

There are 8 billion people in the world and I only have 3 friends, and one is annoying.

Spotted on Reddit:

If trees offered Wi-Fi, we would plant more of them. Too bad they only produce this oxygen thing.

Breaking via Reddit:

Almost fell asleep while putting on the sweater because it got dark for a moment. That’s all you need to know about my morning state.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I finally have glasses, which is great because I needed one more thing to frantically search for every morning.

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