Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

My advice to young people to prepare for getting older is to start stretching immediately.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

My lotion bottle says to use it on areas of irritation, so I slathered it all over my coworker, Deborah.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Saw the eye doctor, and that’s 90% of the vision test right there.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Andrew Tate is what you’d get if Axe body spray gained consciousness.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Alligators can live up to 100 years which is why there is an increased chance that they will see you later.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

I prefer my weighted blanket in human form.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

I will restart the entire song if you talk over my favorite part.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

I will never forget when my dad had a guy from Verizon call me in middle school to tell me that I was using more data than Obama and that I need to stop.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Marriage is where you gasp while your husband is driving, and he gets super annoyed over and over.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,472

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didn’t say goodbye to me the day before.

Shared recently on Threads:

After smartphones, we never got pictures of Bigfoot anymore. You know why? That’s right: 5G killed all the Bigfoots.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast, it had to be done by Elvis.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Guys with grey in their beards will do that thing you like.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

D was probably like “lmao ok” when they named the alphabet the ABCs

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My heart says, chocolate and wine, but my jeans say “Woman, are you kidding? Eat a salad!”

Seen just now on Reddit:

I don’t need a midlife crisis. My whole life is a crisis.

Just landed via Facebook:

I want a man to love me so bad his entire family thinks I did witchcraft on him.

Making waves on TikTok:

Everyone hates drama, yet somehow the tabloids remain in business.

Freshly posted on Discord:

On one hand, it’s terrible to not have access to the Internet, but on the other hand, it’s terrible to have access to the Internet.

Funny crawling quotes

Funny crawling quotes 🐾 bring out the giggles in those wobbly first moves and tiny adventures! Whether it’s baby steps or sneaky sneaks, these playful lines capture the charm and chaos of crawling moments. Ready to laugh, relate, and maybe even reminisce? Let’s dive into the cutest stage of motion with a splash of humor and a whole lot of smiles! 😄👶✨

New funny crawling quotes 👇

All funny crawling quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Threads this month:

(Making small talk with a couple) So have you guys ever cheated on each other?

92 shares on Instagram this month:

Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.

55 shares on Instagram this month:

I touched grass today, and I’m still like this. Please advise.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

After careful consideration, I think I’d have way more fun if I was incredibly stupid.

58 shares on Messenger this month:

Sometimes my toddler throws stuff on the floor and then shouts “OH NO” and that’s kind of like what politicians do.

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

I asked my doctor if I’m healthy enough for sex and he told me I’m not even sexy enough for health.

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible.

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Traded my Fitbit in for a Sitbit.

100 shares on WeChat this month:

Everyone is fighting a battle you don’t know about, except for me. I am complaining loudly about my battle. Everybody knows about it.

100 shares on Snapchat this month:

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I would love to, but I just made a bunch of rules for myself, and I’m actually not allowed to do that.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t wait for my mom to come to my new house so she can tell me how I organized the kitchen wrong.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ll be honest. I can’t solve your problems. What I can do is create new, bigger problems that will make your current problems seem quaint by comparison.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Working your entire life so you can ‘enjoy’ a couple of years when you’re close to death is the biggest scam of all time.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

People who cook breakfast before going to work are too mature for me.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The same mosquito kept biting me last night. It probably thought it was at a wine tasting.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Please have a seat and witness my self-destruction firsthand.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My longest relationship has been with my Hotmail account.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,242

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Be gentle with me, I’m from the 1900s.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

My favorite pastime is looking for meaning where there is none.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Reverse cowgirl, so we can both address the elephant in the room.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Someone in their late 20s giving advice to someone in their early 20s is exactly like when a toddler is obsessed with a newborn.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

If you have nothing nice to say, I promise you that I’ll have something even worse to say back.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

You ever killed your own vibe by remembering?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

A late person is never happier than when the person they’re meeting is later than them.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I don’t like to call it a xenomorph — I prefer the term “the alien from Alien.”

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Discord:

screenshotting people’s close friends and posting it directly to my own story.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Might make a living will because I don’t want my family deciding whether to pull the plug. My dad has a long history of being against wasting electricity.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Unfortunately, I don’t give ugly men a chance, because they wouldn’t give me one if I were the ugly one.

Going viral on Telegram:

My dogs don’t feel earthquakes because they have constant gas.

Broadcasted on Discord:

When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Help, I accidentally used dark humor with normal people, and now they’re concerned for my mental health.

Going viral on X:

Alcohol and eye contact is a deadly combo.

Spotted on Threads:

Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.

Broadcasted on X:

Toothpaste sure knows how to ruin whatever you’re drinking.

Going bananas on Messenger:

If my neighbors would just talk a little louder I could follow along with their conversation, but no. Rude.

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