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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Calm yourself, Lucifer. You did the right thing coming to me for advice.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

In six days God created heaven and earth. On the seventh day, in the interests of balance, the BBC interviewed Satan.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Does no one disappear in the Bermuda Triangle anymore, or is there just too much other news?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Anyone else who tells their pets every time they leave the house that they’ll be back soon?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Don’t forget to whine and complain about Monday today.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Folks, please have more respect for people with glasses. Because they pay money to see you.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

The zero likes won’t stop me from posting. I will talk to myself if I have to.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Do I work hard? No. But do I work smart to compensate. Absolutely not.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I’m the person who requested weather reporters stand in the storms. I have no concept of wind or rain and love seeing needless suffering.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,640

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Pinterest:

Book reviews be like: “5 stars. I’m sobbing. I’m unwell. I haven’t eaten in 16 hours. Highly recommend.”

Just shared via Instagram:

After my funeral, I want one of my friends to take my phone and text everyone, “Thanks for coming.”

Seen just now on TikTok:

Apparently the term for migraine-sufferer is ‘migraneur.’ Nice getting recognition as a kind of artisan of suffering.

Making waves on Facebook:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to stay up all night.

Just shared via Discord:

I will never understand people’s fascination with their ancestry, isn’t knowing your current family bad enough.

Spotted on Pinterest:

On the internet, you can be anything you want. It’s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

This quote is invisible. Only people who masturbate a lot can read it.

Just shared via Telegram:

If you think my posts are ridiculous, you should see some of my life choices.

Going viral on Facebook:

Dear Santa, Money!

Just shared via Slack:

Feeling guilty for taking up the entire therapy session talking about myself.

Funny cue quotes

Funny cue quotes 🎯 are the perfect way to break the ice and add a splash of humor to any conversation! Whether you’re aiming to lighten the mood or just share a laugh 😂, these witty one-liners keep the good vibes rolling. Ready to cue the chuckles and brighten your day? Let’s dive into some clever lines that hit the mark every time! 🎉😄

New funny cue quotes 👇

All funny cue quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Twitch this month:

Told someone I’m as “single as a pringle and as neato as a dorito” and they blocked me immediately.

60 shares on Facebook this month:

All arguments are solvable. The trick? Get naked.

46 shares on X this month:

Being an adult is mumbling ‘this is stupid’ as you reluctantly slide out of bed.

19 shares on Messenger this month:

Nothing like a grandfather clock to remind you every hour that you’re still awake.

39 shares on Facebook this month:

If you watch soccer backwards, it’s about 11 sad and 11 happy men who nag each other until they get along eventually.

18 shares on Instagram this month:

Your first non-broke girlfriend will change your whole perspective about relationships.

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how quiet your bathroom exhaust fan was.

75 shares on Twitch this month:

Anything is an appetizer if you eat more food after.

45 shares on Discord this month:

I have a man cold. Goodbye, world. Tell my story.

46 shares on Slack this month:

I’m giving up eating chocolate for a month. Sorry, bad punctuation. I’m giving up. Eating chocolate for a month.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m an adult in the same way that Katy Perry is an astronaut.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Just pulled a Werther’s Original out of my pocket, like I’m 87 years old.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I would rather walk directly into the ocean than tell people a fun fact about myself.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Autocorrect has become our worst enema.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m only awake because my coffee needs me.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Kinda rude that your reward for struggling through stuff is still dying at the end anyway.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Superwoman: Single. Batman: Single. Wonder Woman: Single. I get it now, I’m single because I’m a superhero.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I would go out more if there weren’t any humans out there.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,316

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Can’t. Typing a password into a TV.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Having a conversation with me is kind of like taking the scenic route.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says “oh, you want to see crazy?” Reassure her that you do not.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m not sure my body can handle much more of this “getting out of bed” nonsense.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Boys are disgusting. Can’t believe I like these things.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Sorry I’m late, I was fighting for my right to party.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

It’s okay to feed your car a curb, as a little treat sometimes.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Why would I want a memory pillow? Sleep is where I go to forget.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

My problem is I buy outfits I don’t have shoes for and shoes I don’t have outfits for.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Regrettably, my children appear to have befriended a child I find annoying.

Breaking via X:

Women are so hot, I wish they were good people.

Breaking via Reddit:

It’s not that I want more shoes, it’s just that they keep making them in my size.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Only in America can a kid wear $150 shoes, sip a $8 coffee, and post from a $1,200 phone about being oppressed and claiming capitalism has failed them.

Spotted on Slack:

When I say “the other day”, it can be anytime between yesterday and my birth.

Going viral on Telegram:

Getting a wife is very powerful, because you get a personal psychic that will tell you things like, “Your keys are in the gray pants in the hamper,” and “He will ultimately betray you.”

Going viral on TikTok:

Parallel parking: where true relationships are tested!

Seen just now on Slack:

As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Telling your parents about your problems is like adding another problem to your life.

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