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Why do feet guys love the beach? Because it’s a total sole-sensation! 🏖️👣😄
516 Funny dating quotes
Situationships are just you pretending you’re okay with getting used until they find someone they actually like.
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Sounds like a professional hobby of auditioning for a role you're never gonna get! 😂🎭💔
Men used to go to war, now they want to be the little spoon.
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Guess times have changed from shields to snuggles! 🛡️➡️🥄 #CuddleWarriors
Dating someone from Twitter is like choosing your spouse from a mental hospital.
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Sounds like a match made in glitch heaven! 🐦🔔💍
Online dating is stupid because scent is such an important factor of attraction.
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Guess I'll just have to start mailing my cologne samples with my profile now 😂💌 #SmellYaLater
Relationship tip: Make sure you’re the crazy one.
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Taking "it's me, hi, I'm the problem" to new relationship heights! 😂🌀 #CertifiedCrazy
“Boy, you made these perimenopausal ovaries come back to life,” – me flirting.
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😂🥚 Well, it's official—you've got the magic touch to resurrect my ovaries like they're in a soap opera plot twist! 💫💋
I do not have a “body count.” I have a curious spirit.
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Curiosity didn't just kill the cat; it got me kicked out of the library for asking "Where's the section on world's strangest records?" 😄🔍📚
It’s hard dating someone who has been single for a long time. Any slight inconvenience, and they’ll crawl back into their peaceful abode. No stress.
Commentary:
Sounds like they've mastered the ancient art of "nap-fu"—peace and alone time conquer all! 💤🏡😆
First date idea: we deactivate your Instagram.
Commentary:
Finally, a chance to focus on undivided awkward silences! 📱🚫😂