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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

I wish rage burned calories. I would be so skinny.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Not texting back is only ok when I do it.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Shouldn’t it have been called the ‘not answering machine’?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Hi, I’m online. Would you like to argue for an hour about whether a hotdog is a sandwich?

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Whoever came up with the name “dentures” really missed the opportunity to call them “substitooths”.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

My favorite recipe is the one where I pick up the phone and order food.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

His voice was like whiskey. Smooth with a slow burn that lit me up from the inside.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

With me, it isn’t Netflix & chill. It’s Prime & panic.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

The problem with “treat yourself” is that I don’t know how to stop. I had a bad day in March, and I’ve been treating myself ever since.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,451

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Saying “Hmmmm” when my boss walks in so he knows I’m thinking about stuff.

Making waves on Facebook:

Making things weird is probably the only thing I’m good at.

Just landed via Threads:

Your ex is probably in a relationship, thinking about you.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I love having plans to cancel.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

Shared recently on Slack:

Self-cleaning conscience.

Spreading quickly via X:

I want the dreams to chase me for once.

Going viral on Facebook:

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

Breaking via Telegram:

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Don’t worry, nobody noticed the weird thing you did. They’re too busy with the weird thing you said.

508 Funny dating quotes

More funny dating quotes 👇

Are you a software update, because not now!

1 month ago

dating, humor, not now, procrastination, software, software update, technology, update
I need someone to look at me the way I look at memes.

1 month ago

admiration, attention, dating, humor, i, love, me, meme, need, passion, relationship, someone
Told someone I’m as “single as a pringle and as neato as a dorito” and they blocked me immediately.

1 month ago

blocked, dating, dorito, humor, me, neato, pringle, quirkiness, relationship, single, someone
Please don’t dm me with the intention of dating me. You deserve less.

1 month ago

dating, deserve, DM, less, me, sarcasm, self-worth
Nobody stresses a woman out more than a man who isn’t her man yet.

1 month ago

dating, expectations, humor, man, nobody, relationship, stress, woman
I dunno how to flirt but I can insult you so nicely.

1 month ago

dating, flirt, humor, i, insult, interaction, sarcasm, skills, social, social skills, wit
If she tells you, she’s got a man, keep trying. Loyal women don’t even reply.

1 month ago

advice, dating, humor, keep, loyal, loyal woman, man, relationship, reply, trying, woman, women
What idiot called it Catfishing your Tinder Contacts and not Playing With Matches?

1 month ago

activity, catfishing, dating, humor, idiot, mat, play, Tinder
Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

1 month ago

date, dating, hot, hot one, humor, me, perks, relationship, self-confidence
Don’t study, get slutty!

1 month ago

advice, dating, fun, humor, party, slutty, study, youth

For even more funny dating quotes, hit next 👇

All funny dating quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on Facebook this month:

This year has been the perfect blend of me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

60 shares on Discord this month:

Nobody defends billionaires better than dudes making $50,000 a year.

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If a demon ever possessed me, I’d just sit back and say, “Your problem now.”

75 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m really hoping money falls from the sky this week, or else I’m doomed.

96 shares on Slack this month:

“I have a favourite hole”, me, at the pool table.

65 shares on Telegram this month:

Dogs are man’s best friend because a dog would never blindside you with a group chat.

77 shares on Twitch this month:

No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Hanging out with a couple and saying, “May this love never find me,” every time there’s a slight conflict.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

Imagine you go bowling by yourself and you go sit down, but it’s your turn again.

100 shares on Discord this month:

My favorite things about Twitter are that everything you read is true, everyone is nice, and all intentions are pure of heart.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

May her tire get flat with a dude who can’t change it.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

50 is the new 30. Because it takes 50 bucks to buy what 30 used to.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

80 years ago we would have all been institutionalized and I think that’s beautiful.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

The dragon with the girl tattoo.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

The three people who like every single one of my posts are going in my will.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Rich people go to parties. It’s what they do, and somehow we must all watch videos of it.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

She was rare. Like a parking spot in the front row on a rainy day.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Caveman bartender: “This one’s on the cave.”

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Super excited about a brand new day of ignoring my problems.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

When physical labor became optional, we invented the gym. We’ll need the same thing for the mind.

Going viral on Instagram:

We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.

Making waves on Snapchat:

The worst part about being in your 40s is the 10 years of listening to people say, “Wait till you’re 50.”

Shared recently on Telegram:

“My family doesn’t have a black sheep,” I say, while everyone avoids eye contact.

Activity Log ✨

508 Funny dating quotes

More funny dating quotes 👇

All funny dating quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨