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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Smile like a monkey with a new banana.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Looks like it’s just you and me tonight, family size Toblerone.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Are you the one with commitment issues or the one with low self-worth?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

I’d rather lose you than the argument.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Getting mad at your hair is a whole different kind of angry.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar. They didn’t planet that way.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Ancestors survived five mass extinctions on earth for me to be killed by a house cat I was trying to put a Christmas sweater on.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2531 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,693

Funny Quotes Topics

15,358

Funny Quotes Images

12,693

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

If you listen to my husband snore, you don’t need Jurassic Park anymore.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Everyone is celebrating my vegan Bolognese sauce. The secret ingredient is minced meat.

Live now on Threads:

I probably never die because I don’t finish anything without a specific deadline.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Not now, I’m busy doing tax crimes on my abacus.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

The date didn’t go well but she was nice enough to send a PDF of everything I did wrong afterwards.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

Seen just now on Discord:

Forget carrying me to bed; carry me to the end of the workweek. Then we can talk.

Making waves on Discord:

Maybe somewhere in a parallel universe, I wake up feeling refreshed and energetic each day.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I don’t get how alcohol turns y’all evil. I just start giggling and get slutty.

Making waves on Slack:

Who you are before you have your coffee is the real you.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2531 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,693

Funny Quotes Topics

15,358

Funny Quotes Images

12,693

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Don’t argue with her. Just say “you remind me of my ex” then walk away.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Sorry, can’t go out tonight. My bed told me it needs me, and I can’t let it down.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

If the Christians published the Kama Sutra, it would have been one page long.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

You’re either really good at wrapping presents or you’re really beautiful and funny. It’s one or the other.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

I’m so lazy, I let my battles pick me.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

I put my pants on just like everybody else: when the police tell me to.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

If you’re not easily offended, why are you even online?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Dating these days is like trusting a crackhead to come back with your change.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via TikTok:

I’ve done the math and I regret to inform you I’m your soulmate.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Half of all the problems in life can be solved by duct tape. For the rest, you’re gonna have to reboot that computer.

Just landed via Facebook:

Be the reason someone burns sage.

Making waves on Telegram:

Addicted to bad posture. Omggg, why is it so comfortable to give yourself scoliosis?

Going viral on X:

You can have kids or you can always know where your scissors are. You can’t have both.

Going viral on Instagram:

Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

Just shared via X:

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

Trending via Discord:

The children seemed disappointed when I told them the best part about being an adult is going to bed early.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Men make it so easy to hate them.

Just shared via Discord:

I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?

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