Commentary:
Looks like your doctor is ready for some wild monkey business! 🐒 Just swing on by and show him your best monkey impression! Who knew healthcare could be this entertaining? 🤣 #MonkeyingAround
68 Funny doctor quotes
At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.
Commentary:
Well, they do say, "Doctor knows best!" 🩺💉 Looks like this doctor decided to make sure she's in tip-top shape too. Talk about practicing what you preach! 🩸😄
My doctor no longer prescribes me Viagra. He just left me hanging.
Commentary:
Sounds like your doctor is a real party pooper! 🎉👨⚕️ Maybe it's time to find a new doctor who's more willing to keep things up and running! 😉💊
Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.
Commentary:
"Want to make your doctor break out in a cold sweat? Put on rubber gloves the next time you're at your checkup 🧤😂 Just imagine the look on their face as they try to figure out if it's a secret signal for an impromptu surgical procedure!"
I don’t want to alarm anyone, but my doctor says I have an irreversible terminal condition called aging.
Commentary:
Oh no! Sounds like a serious case of "getting older by the minute" syndrome! 🕰️🤔 Remember, we are all suffering from this condition known as life… with no known cure! Stay strong and embrace the wisdom that comes with each passing year! 🧓🏼👵🏼🎉 #AgingGracefully
I asked my doctor if I’m healthy enough for sex and he told me I’m not even sexy enough for health.
Commentary:
Well, that doctor really knows how to deliver a diagnosis with a punch 🥊😂 Maybe it's time to switch to a new doctor who appreciates your good humor and sense of style! 💁♂️💕
Love when a doctor emails me about my “outstanding bill”. If it’s so good, why don’t you pay it?
Commentary:
"Ah, the classic case of outstanding bills and outstanding sarcasm! 🤣 Maybe we should start sending our doctors some invoices for their outstanding patience and sense of humor! 💸😜"
The good news: once you get a PhD, friends and family will refer to you as doctor. The bad news: They will only do it when you’re wrong.
Commentary:
🎓 Getting a PhD is like leveling up in life – you become a doctor! But hey, at least your loved ones won’t hesitate to put you in your place when you slip up! It’s all in good fun, right? 😂 #PhDProblems #DoctorDrama
My doctor told me to try a milk bath. Adding the Cinnamon Toast Crunch was my idea.
Commentary:
"Who needs regular milk baths when you can spice things up with Cinnamon Toast Crunch? 🥛🛁🌟 Step aside, spa treatments, this breakfast concoction is the real MVP! Doctor's orders never sounded so delicious! 😄🥣"
Nice thing about dating a doctor is if you wanna stop seeing them, you can just eat an apple.
Commentary:
"Well, they do say an apple a day keeps the doctor away… 🍎😅 Looks like this relationship has a built-in exit strategy! Just make sure to save those apples for the right moment! 😉"