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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Tonight I will make history, by turning off incognito mode.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

A 20% discount sounds great until you realize you can’t afford the other 80%

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Before I had kids I was only vaguely aware that Saturday had a 7am.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

If you need time alone, just announce that you need help cleaning the cats litter box.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

If you ever need me, call me any time, day or night, and I’ll return your call when I get around to it.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

A new year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Coffee, because I don’t have time for a manslaughter charge.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Vote for me and I will halve the calories in chocolate.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,629

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

We are so shocked by “Butthead” that we ignore the strangeness of the name “Beavis”.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Socks try to be monogamous, but most end up either single or having multiple different partners.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Everybody’s back hurts until it’s time to have sexy time.

Just shared via Messenger:

My handwriting got like five different fonts, depends on my mood and the pen I’m using.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Men will ask you zero questions about yourself, and then say they never met anybody like you.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I’ve decided to become an organ donor. When I die, I want an elephant to get a new trunk.

Breaking via TikTok:

I don’t understand the concept of “the man of your dreams”. Every time my wife wakes up after dreaming about me, she is really pissed off about something dream me did.

Spotted on Threads:

It’s strange that we say time is a great healer when it kills 100% of people.

Breaking via YouTube:

I’m planning to eat the rich, but can I sub out fries for a salad?

Shared recently on Instagram:

I can’t tell if I need coffee, a hug, or to just go live in the woods forever.

Funny document quotes

Funny document quotes bring a splash of humor 📄😂 to the often dull world of paperwork and reports. Whether you’re tired of endless edits or battling with formatting nightmares, these witty lines will brighten your day and make those documents feel a little less serious. Ready to add some laughs to your files? Let’s dive into the funniest takes on the everyday document struggle! ✍️🤣📚

New funny document quotes 👇

All funny document quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s funny how everyone who was all about Christmas a week ago is suddenly into New Year’s now.

11 shares on Reddit this month:

Do you mind if I wear my black T-shirt covered in pet hair to your fine dining establishment?

26 shares on Facebook this month:

Salted, and I cannot stress this enough, butter.

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

There’s a Marie Antoinette feeling in the air.

67 shares on Snapchat this month:

Have you ever “accidentally” eaten a family sized bag of chips?

11 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m upset that my parents never got rich enough for me to become a socialist.

82 shares on YouTube this month:

Don’t worry, darling, you won’t break me. Someone already beat you to it.

75 shares on Instagram this month:

They all cheat, lie and manipulate. Just pick the pretty one.

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

Taylor Swift should write a song about when your sleeves keep rolling down every time you wash the dishes.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss when The Weeknd was making sex-addict-on-drugs music.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The first pyramid scheme was when the Egyptians took credit for the pyramids that were clearly built by aliens.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t really explain it but cereal at night tastes better than cereal in the morning.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Why be just a part of the solution when you can be the whole problem?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine hating me and im just at my desk spinning reeaaally fast in my office chair.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,432

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

A hacker called me and said he had all my passwords. I got a pen and paper and said ‘Thank God for that, what are they?’

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

When I die, I hope I’m remembered for my ability to take any bad situation and make it worse.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

(While my wife opens up her Christmas present) Remember when you said we needed milk?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

If you encounter a teenager out in the wild, be kind. They are the first generation of kids whose parents are cooler than they are.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Maybe everyone can just pee outside from now on so I never have to clean the toilets again.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

I’m dying for some sweets and the only thing sweet in the house is me.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Asking a film guy, “Who is that?” when Tom Cruise comes on screen just to feel something.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

The urge to buy people gifts they’ve mentioned they liked once.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

My signature move is waving at someone who is waving at the person behind me.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

Going viral on Reddit:

The difference between me and Superman is that he has super vision, and I need supervision.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Cleaning out your camera roll is like the biggest chore ever.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Of all her outfits, my shirt and no underwear will always be my favorite.

Spotted on Snapchat:

God knew I’d be too powerful if He made me not annoying to women.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I know I’m mad when I start talking to myself about it.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Sunday without HBO feels like a meal without carbs — empty and deeply wrong.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Got asked to be a godparent, proving God has lowered his recruitment standards.

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