Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

I want my boyfriend to be so hot strangers know he’s not funny.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

I’m optimistic, in a pessimistic way.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

It’s so crazy how people are never down to just go get a burger. It didn’t used to be like this.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

9-5 is really 10-2 if you’re working remote.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

My friend and I had a running joke. She said, “Let’s do a marathon,” and then we both laughed.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

An adventure and a dragon would cure me.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Oh, gross. I didn’t know there was protein in this powder. I was only drinking it for the lead.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

This morning, like every morning, he practiced his quick draw of his finger guns in the bathroom mirror, because you just never know.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Nobody rots in bed like I do.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,407

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

“I’m too pretty for this” is a very valid excuse, actually.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I’m sorry I roasted you, I was trying to flirt.

Just landed via Discord:

Me: This is my favorite. I would like to buy this exact same item of clothing again. The fashion industry: No.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If you don’t laugh at my jokes then I will.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Saying “essentially” is a more sophisticated way of saying “basically.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

And for my next trick, I will appear to know what I’m doing.

Seen just now on Instagram:

So blunt, you can smoke my truth.

Making waves on Telegram:

Spotify wrapped is like my annual mental health report and it’s getting worse by each passing year.

Live now on X:

Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

Funny dog ear quotes

Funny dog ear quotes 🐶👂 capture all the quirky charm of those adorable flappy, perky, or goofy ears that make pups even more lovable! Whether they’re twitching at a squirrel or flopping in the cutest way, these sayings bring smiles and tail wags. Get ready to giggle and celebrate your furry friend’s unique style with some paws-itively hilarious ear-inspired humor! 🐾😂

New funny dog ear quotes 👇

All funny dog ear quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on TikTok this month:

I just learned the professional way to say “I told you so”: “This was identified early on as a likely outcome.”

67 shares on Facebook this month:

We’re in the middle of a snowstorm with no cake in the house. I never expected to perish like this.

84 shares on Threads this month:

If I ever go missing, please print my picture on wine bottles and not on milk boxes. My friends are more likely to find me then.

34 shares on Instagram this month:

Sorry, I’m late. I got here when I wanted to.

21 shares on Twitch this month:

Accidentally blurted out “skip intro” when my mother-in-law wasn’t getting to the point.

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A guy in the parking lot saw me trip over my own feet so I yelled to him “I just quantum leaped into this body!”

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Just saw the fattest bird. This guy must get up early as hell.

92 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m always best at the things I shouldn’t do.

19 shares on Threads this month:

I only trust people who give off unemployable energy.

13 shares on X this month:

I am not living la vida loca. I am loca because of la vida.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

A selfie only a mother could like.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, to live in an apartment alone and do whatever I want.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Promising I won’t tell anyone your secret doesn’t include my husband. He’s basically my diary.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The last time I said I wanted to try missionary, she sent me to a remote village in Africa.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Took a personality test and the results just said “uh-oh”

19 folks are currently checking 👀

When I was little, I didn’t care what I wore. I just went along with what my parents chose. When I look in old photo albums, l realize that they didn’t care either.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40s: it’s Saturday night so you know what that means, absolutely nothing, go to bed.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop letting people who are going to hell bother you.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

You come from dust and you will return to dust. That’s why I don’t dust. It could be someone I know.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Meeting Beyoncé and telling her I loved her in Goldmember and mentioning nothing about her music career, just to see if it throws her off.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,605

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

At this point, the only thing that can heal me is memory loss.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Pesto is just an Italian word that means “produced by pounding”, so in a way we are all pesto.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

You’re all using your crystals wrong. Put them in a sock and start swinging.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

At the plastic surgeon: Please, Doc, help me. My Barbie doll has appendicitis.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Welcome to the internet, where people are confidently wrong all the time.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

It’s only 9am and I’ve already ruined my son’s entire life by giving him the banana with the brown spot on it.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremedous boredom.”

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Having a crush on a girl makes you think things like, yes, let me make more money.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

My recliner and I go way back.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

I crashed my bike in 1989 and hurt my knee real bad. We didn’t have social media back then so I’m telling you guys now.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’ll stop smoking weed when life stops smoking me.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

My mom is asking each ornament, “Where do you want to live?” before putting them on the tree.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Stop asking a clown why he keeps acting like a clown, ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I spend half the day wondering if it’s too late for coffee and the other half wondering if it’s too early for alcohol.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

Seen just now on Threads:

As everyone was arguing about politics, no one saw me leave with the cake.

Trending via YouTube:

Shazam, but for the name of the person who literally just introduced themself to me.

Just shared via Instagram:

TVs are like, literally, the only thing that has gotten cheaper as I’ve gotten older.

Just landed via Reddit:

Exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.

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