Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Ctrl Alt delete my fat.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

My dog sure does give a lot of side eye for someone without a job.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Roses are red. Pizza sauce is too. I ordered a large. And none of it’s for you.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

I got a lot of Jedi advice for somebody who could be turned to the dark side by moderate traffic.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Sex is like tacos. I wish I were having some now.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Dear predictive text, I am tired of sending people “Thanksgiving” when they send me a recipe or directions.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

My superpower is always picking the line at the grocery store that moves the slowest.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

I can literally trace the moment my career died back to when my boss said he was in back-to-back meetings, and I said, “Isn’t face-to-face better?”

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

I find that age is just a number, and the older you get, the number you get.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,315

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Slack:

Never underestimate the healing power of having your bed to yourself.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I’d probably be a very chill werewolf, even during a full moon.

Shared recently on Reddit:

For as long as that song was, you’d think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Apparently, I’m not even going through a lot; I just need money.

Making waves on Instagram:

Girl math is ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.

Just shared via Reddit:

People in NYC are like, let me know if you’re ever in NYC.

Going viral on TikTok:

The dopamine hit of getting an Outlook meeting cancellation is unrivaled.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Monday holds the record for being the worst day of the week.

Going viral on Telegram:

Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

Making waves on Threads:

Sometimes I’ll drink a ginger ale and eat a Biscoff cookie and sit up in kind of an unnatural position and pretend I’m on a Delta flight.

Funny donation quotes

Funny donation quotes bring a smile to giving 💸😄, proving generosity doesn’t have to be serious all the time! Whether you’re inspiring friends to chip in or just sharing a laugh about charity, these witty words add a playful twist to kindness 🤹‍♂️💖. Ready to brighten your day and your donations? Let’s dive into some humor that makes giving feel even better! 🎉👏

New funny donation quotes 👇

All funny donation quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on Slack this month:

I need an emergency cheeseburger.

17 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You’ve never burned music to a CD, and it shows.

84 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My favorite part of my workday is when I grab my shit and leave.

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“Nah.” – everyone with an office job, from the Monday after Thanksgiving until January 2nd.

32 shares on Reddit this month:

The winter months remind me that it is crucial to find someone that you’re thermostatically compatible with.

96 shares on Twitch this month:

Who would have thought that eating a can of beans would backfire like this?

58 shares on TikTok this month:

If you ever need me, call me any time, day or night, and I’ll return your call when I get around to it.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

If adulting had a return policy, I’d use it immediately.

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you’re going to stare all night and not say hello, do you mind taking your fingers and squishing my head from across the room?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to look for monsters under the bed. Today I know they are behind some people’s fake smiles.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is just a sequence of missed opportunities.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My unemployed neighbor with an unlimited firework budget would like to wish everyone a happy 9th of July.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Grateful to be living in the “Tetris when it’s going too fast and blocks are helplessly piling up” era of human history.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Note to self: just because it’s in the map app’s directions, doesn’t mean the road is paved.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re not going to believe this, but I was doing really well, and then your email found me.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My sleeping cycle is completely backwards. In the morning I feel sleepy and at night I can’t fall asleep.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,246

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Listen up. If he hooks his sunglasses in the front collar of his shirt, he’s got something important to say.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

I don’t even know what the Transformers are fighting about, to be honest.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Optimist: The glass is ½ full. Pessimist: The glass is ½ empty. Excel: The glass is January 2nd.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Do you also sometimes turn on the TV just so you have background noise or am I weird?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Sometimes I apologize to my car when I hit a pothole.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

I just think we should kiss. And kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss. But that’s just me.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Everybody in the grocery store is my enemy, and I will not be elaborating.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

WFH is so great until you realize you’ve walked about 17 steps all day.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

I love replying “Need him” when someone posts their boyfriend on their Instagram story.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

“It’s bikini season,” I whisper, eating another bikini.

Just landed via Telegram:

I gave you a follow back, not a Tinder match, don’t “Hey, beautiful” me.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Asking the pharmacy if they have a secret menu.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

It’s wild that “Jason” is a name from ancient Greece, because it sounds like it was invented in Florida in 1983.

Seen just now on Slack:

Born to be a hater, forced to understand your perspective.

Just landed via Facebook:

At least I’m part of the generation that at 30 still looks like it’s in its early 20s.

Just shared via Instagram:

They should invent a DoorDash but for a kiss goodnight and getting tucked in.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Tweeting shouldn’t cost money but it should flip you on your back like a bug for 15 minutes.

Just shared via Facebook:

Holding it together with duct tape and sarcasm.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

“It’s not that deep.” Of course it’s not. With a shallow mind like yours, nothing ever is.

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