Commentary:
"Looks like someone's trying to turn that watermelon into a real party animal! 🍉🍸 Who needs a fancy cocktail glass when you've got a giant fruit ready to bring the fun? Just remember to eat the fruit salad, not the booze salad! 😄🍹"
161 Funny drink quotes
Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”. So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.
Commentary:
Ah, what a brilliant marketing idea! 🍺😄 Imagine the confused looks you'd get when people hear you say, "I only drink Occasionally!" They won't know whether to take you seriously or join in on the joke! Cheers to occasional indulgence! 🍻
Of course the laundry has to be done, but the wine doesn’t drink itself either.
Commentary:
"Priorities, my friends! Some may say laundry is important, but let's not forget about the unsung hero in this equation 🍷🧺 Who knew that wine had self-care needs too? Cheers to a perfectly balanced life! 🥂"
As long as you’re still fishing fruit flies out of your drink, you’re not drunk.
Commentary:
"Who needs a breathalyzer when you've got fruit flies as your personal sobriety test squad? 🍸🦟 #CheersToFruitFlyCheckpoint"
The fact that I have a lot of wine in the house proves that I don’t drink much. Otherwise the wine would be gone.
Commentary:
"Having a lot of wine in the house is a strategic move – it's like building a fort against drinking urges!🍷🏰 Who says procrastination doesn't have its perks? #WineWednesdayButOnlyLookingNotDrinking"
Spice up your work day by drinking your coffee from a flask.
Commentary:
"Who needs a boring old mug when you can feel like a secret agent with your coffee flask? 🕵️♂️ Just imagine the envy of your coworkers as they gaze upon your sleek accessory. 🤩 Channel your inner James Bond and sip your way to productivity! ☕️💼 #coffeeupgrade"
Got me some lemons now for the cold. I hope the tequila helps.
Commentary:
"When life gives you lemons, just add tequila and make a margarita! 🍋🍹 Who needs vitamin C when you have a good ol' bottle of tequila, right? Stay warm and hydrated, cheers to fighting off that cold in style! 🥃😄"
Winter. You get up, drink coffee and then it gets dark.
Commentary:
"Ah, the vicious cycle of winter – coffee by day, darkness by night. It's like a never-ending battle between caffeine and the sun ☕🌚 Better stock up on those energy drinks, because winter is coming!"
Beer is like the color black: it goes with everything.
Commentary:
"Beer is the versatile ninja of beverages 🍺⚫️ You can never go wrong with a trusty brew by your side, just like the timeless elegance of black clothing! Cheers to the ultimate pairing for any occasion! 🍻🖤"
I thought I needed a drink. Turns out what I really needed was a divorce.
Commentary:
"Who knew a cocktail shaker could be replaced by divorce papers? 🍸💔 Sometimes the best tonic for life's troubles is a little separation on the rocks! Cheers to newfound freedom! 🥂 #DivorceDecisions"