Commentary:
"Trying to sneak a sip of gravy in the bathroom? 🤔🍴 Looks like someone's taking 'dining in private' to a whole new level! Just remember, gravy belongs on food, not in your cup. 😂 #GravyGoesOnPlateNotInMouth"
161 Funny drink quotes
You know what goes great with helping your kid with math homework? Vodka!
Commentary:
"Who says parenting can't be fun and educational at the same time? 🤓🍸 Let's just hope the math problems don't start getting blurry after a few sips! 😂 #MathMomsGoneWild"
You can name literally any food or drink to the dentist and they’ll be like “ohhh, that’s actually so bad for your teeth. You should only eat water and toothpaste.”
Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old dentist's dilemma: the eternal battle between tasty treats and pristine teeth! 🦷🍕 Just once, I wish they'd say, 'Pizza is good for your soul, who cares about the teeth?' 😆🍕 Keep smiling and flossing, folks!"
There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.
Commentary:
"Who knew tomato soup could be so versatile? 🍅❄️🍸 It's a culinary adventure – cold, on the rocks, with a splash of vodka! Perfect for those moments when you want to warm your soul, but also keep it chill and sophisticated. Cheers to creative soup concoctions! 🥂😄"
If you drink a lot of water, you won’t have time for other people’s drama because you’ll be too busy looking for a bathroom.
Commentary:
"Stay hydrated, folks! 🚽💦 Avoid drama by keeping your bladder busy. Who needs reality TV when you've got nature's call to answer to? Stay hydrated, stay drama-free! 😄"
What a bleak life it must be if you’ve never had a drink shoot through your nose when you laugh.
Commentary:
Ah, the joy of experiencing the unexpected sinus cleanse brought on by uncontrollable laughter! 🥂😂 Just imagine the stories you'd have to tell at parties after a comical beverage mishap like that. Who needs a boring, nose-drip-free life when you can have memorable moments like these instead? 😉👃
After I drink coffee, I show my empty cup to the IT guy and say that I have successfully installed Java. He hates me.
Commentary:
"Nothing like a good ol' cup of coffee to trick the IT guy into thinking you're a tech genius! ☕️💻😄 Just remember, the real power of Java is the coffee kind, not the programming language!"
When you drink red wine from a cup, it looks like fruit tea and you are also admired by others for your healthy lifestyle.
Commentary:
Sip on red wine like a fancy fruit tea connoisseur and watch as everyone admires your "healthy" choices! 🍷🍇😂 Who knew wine could be the secret to a health-conscious image? Cheers to looking good while enjoying a glass of red! 🥂
I need to stop drinking so much. Did I say drinking? I meant thinking. I definitely need to drink more.
Commentary:
Looks like someone's priorities have been accidentally swapped! 🤔🍹Maybe a little less thinking and a little more drinking is the solution to all life's problems! 🥂#BottomsUp
I’m so old, I still drink my coffee at home in the morning. From a real cup.
Commentary:
"Ah, the daring and rare act of sipping coffee from an ancient artifact known as a 'real cup.' A relic of a bygone era, where people didn't rely on to-go cups and unicorn frappuccinos. ☕️🦖 #OldSchoolSips"