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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✹

Someone from đŸ‡ș🇬 has copied:

The older I get, the more I understand why deer run in front of cars.

Someone from đŸ‡šđŸ‡» has copied:

I think you’re like the cat’s meow, annoying yet sweet.

Someone from đŸ‡±đŸ‡ș has viewed:

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

Someone from đŸ‡»đŸ‡ł has copied:

Due to unforeskin circumcistances …

Someone from 🇼đŸ‡Ș has viewed:

No one lies more than a parent who says, “We’ll see.” You know we’re not seeing anything.

Someone from đŸ‡”đŸ‡č has viewed:

I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

Someone from đŸ‡©đŸ‡Č has copied:

Hey, if the Earth could stop air frying me, that’d be great.

Someone from đŸ‡žđŸ‡· has bookmarked:

Relationship rule: If the woman has told something and the man doesn’t remember, the man hasn’t listened. If the man has told something and the woman doesn’t remember, the man has never told it.

Someone from đŸ‡šđŸ‡« has downloaded:

Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

Someone from đŸ‡©đŸ‡ż has downloaded:

I’m blunt because the universe rolled me that way.

Funny Quotes Data đŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,340

Social Media Log đŸ’«

Just landed via Facebook:

They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Not wearing glasses anymore, I’ve seen enough.

Shared recently on TikTok:

My cat is so finicky. I finally gave up and taught him how to order Uber Eats for himself.

Spotted on Reddit:

That gap in my resume is from when I was lost at sea.

Going viral on Telegram:

Am simultaneously the family’s black sheep and gold star, and that’s exactly why I’m the way I am.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Women will invite you to shower with them, then cook you alive with a temperature of water you didn’t know existed.

Going viral on Snapchat:

What are some fun beginner crimes for someone getting into lawlessness?

Seen just now on Telegram:

My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.

Seen just now on Reddit:

So cool that avocados come with those little wooden balls inside, I think I have collected the whole set.

Funny drinking habit quotes

Funny drinking habit quotes đŸ» are the perfect way to raise a glass and share a laugh with friends! Whether you’re a casual sipper or a weekend warrior, these witty lines add a splash of humor to your favorite pastime đŸč. From clever puns to cheeky observations, get ready to toast to the lighter side of life—because sometimes, laughter pairs best with your favorite drink! đŸ„‚đŸ˜‚

New funny drinking habit quotes 👇

All funny drinking habit quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
đŸŽČ Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! đŸ˜‰âœŒïž Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. đŸ˜‚đŸ’„

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on WeChat this month:

I dare you to try and be more single than me.

84 shares on Facebook this month:

Lou Read is the name of my favorite musician and also the book I keep in the toilet.

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

No, I won’t be attending your seance, I barely want to talk to the living.

92 shares on Reddit this month:

YOLO because stupid people don’t know what Carpe Diem means.

78 shares on Threads this month:

I use karate strictly as a last resort, after I’ve exhausted fleeing and screaming.

66 shares on Discord this month:

“I have a favourite hole”, me, at the pool table.

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you give a man a fish, that fish is basically gone. Way to lose your fish.

28 shares on Threads this month:

No one declines an incoming call faster than a 3-year-old watching YouTube.

82 shares on Telegram this month:

My favorite things about Twitter are that everything you read is true, everyone is nice, and all intentions are pure of heart.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes đŸ’„

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ll never tell anyone your secret because that would mean talking to people.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Opening up to a woman is like talking to the police, anything you say can and will be used against you.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Great news everyone! The priest who took my confession is expected to make a full recovery.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you ever restart the dryer because you don’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

May the algorithms be with you.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I will never understand people’s fascination with their ancestry, isn’t knowing your current family bad enough.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t be boring. Create the gossip you would like to hear.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The concept of a drive-by doesn’t really exist in the swamp biome; instead, people rap about doing bog-emerges.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something is wrong with me.

Funny Quotes Data đŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,492

Activity Log ✹

Someone from đŸ‡°đŸ‡· has copied:

Soccer: I love when they hold up the sign and a brand new, beautiful boy takes the place of a dirty, sweaty, ruined one.

Someone from đŸ‡Č🇿 has shared:

Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

Someone from 🇾🇿 has viewed:

Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? You’re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.

Someone from đŸ‡źđŸ‡¶ has shared:

Bands are always like “here’s another song”. Yeah, no shit, that’s pretty much all you do.

Someone from đŸ‡§đŸ‡Ÿ has copied:

Welcome to your 50s, your joints are now meteorologists.

Someone from đŸ‡źđŸ‡± has downloaded:

My neighbors listen to really good music, whether they like it or not.

Someone from đŸ‡”đŸ‡Œ has viewed:

I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Someone from đŸ‡źđŸ‡± has downloaded:

Oh, gross. I didn’t know there was protein in this powder. I was only drinking it for the lead.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

The greatest research skill you can have is being a nosy bitch who wants to find out.

Someone from 🇿🇩 has viewed:

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

Social Media Log đŸ’«

Shared recently on YouTube:

In my 20’s: why is eating healthy such a big deal anyways. In my 40’s: oh.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Outfit repeater. Meal repeater. Movie rewatcher. I know what I like.

Just shared via Twitch:

I start each day assuming it will be horrible and go from there.

Breaking via Discord:

Nobody should be blowing up Teslas. If you just wait a bit, they’ll probably do it by themselves.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I’m an adult in the same way that Katy Perry is an astronaut.

Spotted on Discord:

You know when you have so much to do that you just sit down and do nothing?

Freshly posted on Threads:

Please continue to leave me out of the loop.

Freshly posted on X:

They should invent a relationship that doesn’t turn into the worst experience of my entire life.

Going viral on Snapchat:

They need to increase life expectancy so I can squeeze in another mid-life crisis.

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