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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Counting calories is a great way to combine super fun things like math and not eating.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

These days, I only use Facebook as a birthday calendar.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Friends with no kids are like: Want to go to New Zealand this Friday?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

I told my wife the laundry on the couch ain’t gonna fold itself, so if y’all don’t hear from me later, she probably folded me like an omelet.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

That moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don’t know what to do with your life any more.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Here’s your daily reminder to not forget about Dre.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Calling the police when someone unfollows.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

819 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,981

Funny Quotes Topics

13,924

Funny Quotes Images

10,981

Updated

31 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

If an alien is 60 million light years away and is watching us through a telescope, it will see dinosaurs.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Voice messages. Just call, goddamnit!

Seen just now on TikTok:

If you collect the crumbs from one Nature Valley granola bar, you can make three more granola bars.

Just shared via Discord:

If you think one of my posts is about you, it isn’t. Except this one.

Spotted on TikTok:

My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

Breaking via Instagram:

Going to therapy is like having someone walk around your brain and going “ohhhh, this is how you’re living?!”

Making waves on Facebook:

Did you know there are people who go away for 3 days and only pack 3 days’ worth of clothing?

Live now on WhatsApp:

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently, and I’ve decided that I really don’t want to do that any more.

Making waves on Telegram:

People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

Spotted on YouTube:

If you’re thinking what I’m thinking, you need professional help.

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Funny E quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

819 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,981

Funny Quotes Topics

13,924

Funny Quotes Images

10,981

Updated

31 minutes ago

Users Online

3,430

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

To the tune of ‘Everybody Dance Now’: Himalayan Sea Salt

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you won’t let go of.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Friends with benefits, but it’s just that they make delicious baked goods.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

I would rather walk barefoot across a carpet made out of Legos than go to my high school reunion.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

“What’s a random act of kindness you’ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Might make a living will because I don’t want my family deciding whether to pull the plug. My dad has a long history of being against wasting electricity.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Even worse than the buzzing of the mosquitoes is the moment when it suddenly stops.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Can we skip to the rich part?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

My dad thought Siri would be more helpful finding a lemon ricotta recipe if he used an Italian accent.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Nostalgia isn’t as good as it used to be.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Everyone thinks they’re brave right up until a goose starts chasing them.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Only after moving in together do you realize your girlfriend’s little quirks. Mine, for example, stores vegetables in the beer compartment.

Going viral on Instagram:

I told a joke during a Zoom meeting today. Nobody laughed. It turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Breaking via Telegram:

Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

Seen just now on TikTok:

The web is a great place to befriend people who you’d never let in your house.

Just landed via Facebook:

You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

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