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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Everyone’s a gangster until they see a rainbow.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

I need to eat healthier but donuts exist.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Me attempting to flirt: So do you like doing things?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Long distance relationships can work if the four of you all truly trust each other.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Back in the good old days, we didn’t have to trim our toenails, they just got wore down naturally from running from dinosaurs.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

There’s a certain nothing about you.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone!

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,782

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Pinterest:

Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

Trending via X:

Introverts have fun, too — we just don’t care if you know.

Spotted on Slack:

I don’t have a favourite person, but I do have a favourite cheese.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Kendrick inspires me to be a bigger, deeper, more passionate hater.

Just shared via Discord:

Calling the police when someone unfollows.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The morning routine that takes the longest: finding the will to live.

Just shared via Discord:

Girl who is still crazy: I was crazy back then.

Going viral on YouTube:

I got fired from my job at the massage parlor. No specific reason, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’m having an orange, and the dogs keep looking at me like, “stop eating that ball, dude.”

Funny eating habits quotes

Funny eating habits quotes 🍕😄 are the perfect way to celebrate our quirky cravings and snack-time shenanigans! Whether you’re a midnight muncher or a crunchy chip enthusiast, these witty sayings will make you laugh out loud while embracing those guilty pleasures 🍔😂. Get ready to smile, relate, and maybe even rethink that third slice of cake 🎂😉!

New funny eating habits quotes 👇

All funny eating habits quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Telegram this month:

Some people avoid bacon for the sake of religion. I avoid religion for the sake of bacon.

40 shares on Instagram this month:

I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

47 shares on Telegram this month:

Commenting “what about us?” on all Valentine pics this year.

98 shares on Slack this month:

Having to pee when you’re driving is problematic. Having to sneeze when you’re driving is even more problematic.

69 shares on TikTok this month:

Every job is either 8 hours of getting exposed to cancer-causing chemicals or 8 hours of staring at a Microsoft Excel sheet.

64 shares on Slack this month:

“I thought it might be nice to go round the room and say a bit about ourselves.” Oh dear, you thought wrong.

57 shares on Reddit this month:

The closest I have ever come to bungee jumping was when I was born.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

Writing ‘thanks.’ instead of ‘thanks!’ so you know I’m mad.

30 shares on X this month:

Kinda psycho that there’s a clothing brand called “Banana Republic.”

55 shares on Telegram this month:

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The lion does not concern himself with the few small drops of pee that got on his boxers at the urinal even after he did a few shakes to be sure.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Your favorite little ball of silliness has logged in.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate being around people who mistake my childlike wonder as naivety or weakness. I am simply a war general who loves to giggle.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear ghosts, if you can move stuff around and flicker lights, then you can use a mop.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

It must be hard for a vampire to floss their fangs when they can’t see their reflection in a mirror.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

For whom the doom scrolls!

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I haven’t cleaned my shower in so long, it’s becoming a terrarium. Absolutely gorgeous.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Halloween is a big day for dogs who love to absolutely lose their shit when the doorbell rings.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,445

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

It’s amazing how so many people can rave about Star Wars or Star Trek and at the same time make sure that the only realistic future prospect is Mad Max.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

If I had a dollar for every time someone called me fat, I’d probably just spend it on more bacon.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

The sluttiest thing a man can do is have an ethical dilemma over his lust for you.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Here’s a fun activity you can do with your kids on rainy days when they have too much energy: Go shopping and leave them at home with their dad.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Pornhub be like “Your phone got a virus,” bro, just play the bloody video.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

My boss denied me a raise before my shift today. What’s some music you have never wanted to hear in a coffee shop?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Twitter needs a button that’s “bring back that tweet I was just starting to read before you automatically refreshed.”

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Sorry for what I said when I was drunk. I meant every word.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

Me, having zero balance in my account, viewing houses worth 10 million, and being like, “No, I don’t like the kitchen.”

Spotted on Pinterest:

People who accuse me of delusions of grandeur, obviously don’t worship me enough.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I don’t want to sound controversial, but having Monday off is great. We should do this every week.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Hate when other parents at school drop off act like they’re better than me just because they remembered to bring all of their children.

Going viral on Facebook:

I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I know I just ate a snack, but I could really use a snack.

Trending via Threads:

If you need me, I will be at the library sniffing old books.

Making waves on X:

This tape doesn’t even taste like scotch.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’d be really slim if it wasn’t for birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, weekends and me.

Trending via Reddit:

Dear ghosts, if you can move stuff around and flicker lights, then you can use a mop.

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