Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

“I need a movie where the villain actually won!” Have you tried watching the news?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

From now on, I’m gonna tell guests that I made my house especially messy just for their visit. It was hard, but I got it done.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Shoutout to everyone who works hard to support their dog’s extravagant lifestyle.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Release that sexual frustration, get a burger.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Having a girlfriend who doesn’t post herself on social media is an underrated blessing.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a Monday, asking it to be a Friday.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

I put the hot in psychotic.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

I’ve never been to hell, but I once forgot to buy batteries for the toys on Christmas morning. The sound is still ringing in my ears.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Ghosting is actually a sign of great respect in my culture.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

God forbid a girl wanna kiss and be kissed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

They should make a separate airport for people who know how to act like they’ve been out in public before.

Shared recently on YouTube:

It’s this time again when you have to choose between coffee and mulled wine in the morning.

Making waves on Reddit:

All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Why is 4-8 p.m. on a Sunday the most depressing time ever?

Just landed via Snapchat:

They’re selling me on Temu tomorrow.

Trending via WeChat:

It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while to get excited about going home.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Just broke a clothes hanger and now have seven years of bad outfits.

Live now on Twitch:

I told my computer I needed a break, now it sends me reminders to stretch while I’m lying on the couch.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

My grandmother is a shining example of how you can live until 90 years of age, sustained by nothing but spite and biscuits.

Funny employed quotes

Funny employed quotes bring a hilarious twist to everyday work life 😂💼 Whether you’re stuck in meetings, battling deadlines, or just surviving Monday blues, these witty gems add a splash of humor to your 9-to-5 grind 🎉💻 Get ready to laugh, relate, and maybe even share with your coworkers for that perfect office vibe boost! 😄🙌 #WorkLaughs #OfficeHumor

New funny employed quotes 👇

I’m professionally employed and personally unhinged. Balance.

17 hours ago

balance, employed, employment, health, humor, mental, mental health, personality, unhinged, work life, work-life balance
I’ve tasted being employed, and I’ve tasted being unemployed. I recommend not being born.

2 months ago

being, born, employed, employment, existential, humor, humor quote, i, job, life, recommend, sarcasm, unemployed, unemployment, work
I was thinking of becoming self employed, but due to cutbacks, I can’t afford to hire me right now.

3 months ago

afford, cutbacks, employed, employment, financial, financial struggle, hire, humor, i, irony, job, job market, market, me, money, right, self, self employment, self-employed, struggle, thinking

All funny employed quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on TikTok this month:

Nobody sighs louder than an unemployed, debt-free dog who spends at least 16 hours a day sleeping.

60 shares on YouTube this month:

Processed food was literally designed for you to eat. Organic is just some crap they found on the ground somewhere.

44 shares on Twitch this month:

My favorite genre of tweet is conservative guy asking Grok, ‘Is this true?’ and then arguing with it when it doesn’t give him the answer he likes.

12 shares on Threads this month:

Accepting you’re about to throw up, gotta be the worst feeling on God’s green earth.

97 shares on WeChat this month:

How to write complaints: “Dear customer service, first of all, you should know that I am typing this with my middle finger.”

55 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I will never trust a cake transport box enough to just hold it by the handle.

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Screen time on your computer feels like healthy screen time, screen time on your phone feels like evil screen time.

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

I love how one day my body just decided “You know what you really need is some ear hair.”

51 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m best man at my buddy’s second wedding. Is it appropriate to open my dinner speech with “Welcome back everyone”?

100 shares on Telegram this month:

Kids these days are soft. I’m pretty sure I died once when I was 7, and my mom made me walk it off.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not flirting with you. I’m just funny and you think you like me.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so loyal to my music, I’ll hunt down a song I used to love five years back.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing ruins your weekend faster than remembering Monday is lurking in the shadows.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Drinking a couple of beers and then getting onto Red Dead Redemption, and just petting my horse and feeding it apples.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I am AOL Instant Messenger years old.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s only a family vacation if you think “We’re never doing this again” at least once.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Warning: not watching the news may lead to a heightened sense of joy, security, and optimism.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a retard.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I have never in my life learned from another person’s mistakes, I would literally let a giant wooden horse into my house right this second.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,660

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Getting the house to yourself for a night is basically winning the lottery.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Money talks, but all mine ever says is goodbye.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

They can steal your recipe, but the sauce won’t taste the same.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

If you listen to my husband snore, you don’t need Jurassic Park anymore.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

A micromanager is someone you pay to watch your top talent walk away.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Unfortunately, if you want to end your single life, you have to do something. So that’s not for me.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Many fruits can be great names… but the real challenge is naming a child after a vegetable….

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

I’m either freezing, peeing, or starving.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

“Don’t judge a book by its cover” is a beautiful, powerful sentiment that I fully ignore when book shopping.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Slack:

Sometimes I wish I had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth.

Spotted on Reddit:

Friendly reminder that someone having a different opinion about a movie than you is a direct attack on you as a person and you should take it very personally.

Going viral on Facebook:

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

Just shared via Threads:

I think Cinderella should have lived a happy life with all her animal friends rather than settle for a man who had her try on a shoe because he didn’t recognize her without makeup.

Making waves on Threads:

The two most popular things to do on the internet are arguing about politics and looking at naked people. Million dollar website idea: combine both — naked people arguing about politics.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I took some free community martial arts lessons for self-defense, but I’m starting to think Tai Chi is too slow for most muggers.

Breaking via Facebook:

Make sure you stock up on condoms, so you don’t produce any more idiots.

Just shared via Messenger:

When I die, I hope I’m remembered for my ability to take any bad situation and make it worse.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

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