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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

I couldn’t work at a zoo. I’d have a penguin in my car by the end of the shift.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

I like online shopping and putting everything I want in a cart, then checking my subtotal and laughing and closing the tab.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

First World War. Kind of nervous.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to run my brain through the dishwasher.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Clearing her mind with a brisk walk along the foggy shoreline.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Meteorologists are always talking about the weather and hardly ever about meteors.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

I would prefer not to.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Actually, you’re having a conversation with yourself. I’m just here so you don’t appear totally insane.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

If you ever ask a teen to do something and they just say “sure” without arguing, check that they haven’t been replaced with an android.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Jesus turned water into wine. I turn food into fertilizer. We are not the same.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2333 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,495

Funny Quotes Topics

15,196

Funny Quotes Images

12,495

Updated

57 minutes ago

Users Online

3,457

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

In my 20s: Jingle all the way. In my 40s: Jingle til around ten.

Reported on Facebook:

When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The recipe I’m making specifically says “allow to cook undisturbed,” and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Toys R Us went out of business because their mascot was a stupid giraffe when it could’ve been a toy dinosaur called the Toysaurus. It was right there man.

Shared recently on Discord:

Wanna worship each other until the end of all things?

Making waves on X:

About 40 muscles are activated when you eat just one donut. Follow me for more fitness advice.

Just shared via WeChat:

Is losing your mind a hobby?

Spotted on Pinterest:

The Titanic is a great lesson of why “just the tip” can get you into a whole lot of trouble.

Just landed via Instagram:

Girls don’t actually shop. We just walk round touching the clothes saying ‘this is cute’.

Going viral on Messenger:

No, I’m not depressed. I’m sure there’s just something wrong with the planets or stars or something.

Home » Funny Employed Quotes

Funny employed quotes

Funny employed quotes bring a hilarious twist to everyday work life 😂💼 Whether you’re stuck in meetings, battling deadlines, or just surviving Monday blues, these witty gems add a splash of humor to your 9-to-5 grind 🎉💻 Get ready to laugh, relate, and maybe even share with your coworkers for that perfect office vibe boost! 😄🙌 #WorkLaughs #OfficeHumor

New funny employed quotes 👇

For even more funny employed quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny employed quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2333 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,495

Funny Quotes Topics

15,196

Funny Quotes Images

12,495

Updated

57 minutes ago

Users Online

3,450

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Looking forward to another year of crushing reality and unfulfilled dreams.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Please don’t dm me with the intention of dating me. You deserve less.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

When I say “I’m open to feedback” I mean “I accept compliments.”

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

I just start doing the Macarena when I want to end conversations now.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

I refuse to listen to anyone give commentary on the state of society unless it’s in a TikTok video filmed inside their car.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

“I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

If white men can’t jump, how do you explain Super Mario?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

My husband and I were doing yard work, but I started a fight so I could storm off into the air conditioning.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

My kids wanted a spooky story from the olden days so I told them the internet used to scream when you turned it on.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

What did parents do before smart phones, hold their babies with two hands or something?

Just landed via Discord:

Rich people go to parties. It’s what they do, and somehow we must all watch videos of it.

Seen just now on Discord:

Shopping at the dollar store makes me feel rich and poor all at the same time.

Seen just now on Threads:

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

Trending via Threads:

My knight in shining armor comes in liquid form.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?

Making waves on Discord:

Called in, “Taking a gap year.”

Shared recently on Reddit:

The two types of video games are kill everything that moves and Microsoft Excel.

Just landed via Messenger:

As someone who was born in August, I find the word leotard extremely offensive.

Shared recently on Messenger:

The kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were pretty dumb if they couldn’t figure out that their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

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