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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Twitter is fun because you can tweet about hashbrowns and someone will say you are responsible for genocide.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

The man who invented autocorrect has died. Restaurant in peace.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Keep your fries close and your onion rings closer.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

If Dracula had a cat, she’d be the one sleeping in the coffin.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

If people love cheese so much, why are they mad when someone smells like cheese.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Hey babe, wanna come over and fold me like a fitted sheet?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

The best plans on a Friday night are no plans.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Everyone’s a gangster until they turn a spoon the wrong way under running water.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

I’m at the age where drinking a cup of coffee now makes me feel like Popeye scarfing down a can of spinach.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,642

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

The smaller the woman, the bigger the attitude. It’s science.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The best part about getting added to a group chat is leaving two weeks later.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

You know you’re an introvert when you want to go home before even leaving the house.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I received my electricity bill. I think they billed me for sunlight, divine light, and the light at the end of the tunnel.

Making waves on Slack:

Evenings after work finish too quickly, one meal, one show, and it’s already tomorrow morning.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Why is everyone so chill about parrots being able to talk? That’s a whole animal. Talking.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Salted, and I cannot stress this enough, butter.

Seen just now on TikTok:

It’s so hot outside that when I opened my front door I thought I was checking on my oven.

Just landed via Threads:

I used to love going out with people. Now I weigh the pros and cons of human interaction, like it’s a business decision.

Spotted on TikTok:

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

Funny English language quotes

New funny English language quotes 👇

There are approximately 1,010,300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough words together to properly express how much I want to hit you with a chair.

2 days ago

chair, count, English, English language, enough, express, expression, frustration, hit, humor, i, insult, language, much, never, properly, sarcasm, string, together, violence, want, word, word count, words
“There are no words in the English language that have all the vowels in alphabetical order,” he said facetiously.

3 days ago

alphabetical, alphabetical order, English, English language, facetious, humor, joke, language, language joke, order, said, vowel, vowels, wordplay, words

All funny English language quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m at the age where I can remember things that never happened.

34 shares on Facebook this month:

I’ve decided to handle this like a mature adult, I’m telling your mom.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

Whenever someone says “Per ChatGPT” or “ChatGPT says,” I look at them like they just consulted a magic 8 ball because, please, stop playing with me.

90 shares on Instagram this month:

If I buy the circus, the monkey will be the manager.

32 shares on Threads this month:

Jesus rose from the grave because he forgot to clear his browser history.

17 shares on TikTok this month:

Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

53 shares on Pinterest this month:

In a massage chair at the mall just moaning really loud.

45 shares on Instagram this month:

A dinosaur as a pet would solve so many problems. Mainly, people problems.

79 shares on Facebook this month:

Crying at my desk while also finding time to cry in the shower makes for a healthy work-life balance.

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Conflicts may arise but always remember to be the bitter person.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

I miss the days when our biggest argument was whether West Coast or East Coast rap was better.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

If you bring an acoustic guitar to a bonfire, I’m going to assume it’s for fuel.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

My phone is like my lover, it’s the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I wake up to every morning.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

The more stupid the views, the harder it is to talk people out of them.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Most guys probably just have a foot fetish because their first girlfriend was a sock.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Surround yourself with people who google the menu of the restaurant beforehand.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Home is where you can say anything because nobody’s really listening, anyway.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Adult friendships are difficult. The people I get on best with never want to leave the house either.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

“What’s your ETA?” do you ask the birds in the sky when they will arrive.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

“You’re so self-aware!” Thanks, it’s ruining my life.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Are you the one with commitment issues or the one with low self-worth?

Just landed via Reddit:

Did you know that it’s actually possible to say, “I don’t know enough about this to have an opinion”?

Spotted on X:

The world needs to chill out. There’s no way future history teachers can cram all this nonsense into a semester.

Going viral on Instagram:

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

Live now on Snapchat:

Bank account nice and empty. Starting the new month on a clean slate.

Going viral on Slack:

Best thing about TikTok is you literally don’t need to follow anyone to have a good time.

Spotted on Twitch:

“Clean” my shower? Then what? Give my car a ride into town?

Breaking via Pinterest:

I’ve got 50 minutes to make it look like I’ve been flossing for the last 6 months.

Going viral on Threads:

Person: gives compliment. Me: let me give you a brief synopsis of why you are sorely mistaken.

Making waves on Facebook:

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny English language quotes

New funny English language quotes 👇

There are approximately 1,010,300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough words together to properly express how much I want to hit you with a chair.

“There are no words in the English language that have all the vowels in alphabetical order,” he said facetiously.

All funny English language quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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