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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Nobody seems more shocked, disappointed and dismayed than the person behind the post office counter when I arrive and say I’ve got something to post.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

It’s difficult to play hard to get when I’m already hard to want.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

I know I’m almost 40 because I had a few drinks last night and woke up this morning thinking: Oh no I bought so many socks online last night.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I made a clone of myself to do the dishes, another to do the laundry, and another to do the cooking, but we’re all sitting on the couch watching TV.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Tried online dating, and it turns out my soulmate is a Nigerian prince who needs my bank details to escape his kingdom.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Remember, if you start with, “It’s crazy to think…” you can say whatever you want.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who turns every black shirt into an abstract deodorant mural.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

My dream is to buy a horse and race it. The horse will probably beat me but it’ll still be fun.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,920

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Reddit:

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

Trending via Discord:

Unsolicited sandwich pics.

Just shared via X:

Some folks go to college to delay being a bum.

Trending via LinkedIn:

In my 20s: I’m gonna live forever! In my 40s: uh oh!

Going viral on Messenger:

Still can’t believe America has a federal holiday to celebrate the hit movie Independence Day.

Live now on Pinterest:

My save-for-later cart on Amazon is up to about $1.5 million dollars.

Shared recently on Instagram:

People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

Just shared via Snapchat:

For whom the doom scrolls!

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

It’s quite ironic that “strap on,” backwards, spells “no parts.”

Shared recently on Twitch:

Hey, I came over because the grass seemed really green here, but now that I’m looking back that grass actually looks crazy green, so I’m gonna go.

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Funny ew quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,712

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

“I’m fluent in creating worst-case scenarios in my head.”

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

We go together like Drunk and Disorderly.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

“I’m getting tired of everything being 100 dollars and 100 degrees.”

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Don’t put words in my mouth—that’s where the hot dogs go.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

First date idea: I lean in close and surprise you with a wet willy.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Everyone gives pleasure in some way, one when they enter a room, the other when they leave it.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

I may not have lost all my marbles yet, but there’s a small hole in the bag somewhere.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Do married people watch Gen Z dating and feel like they caught the last chopper out of Nam?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Everyone is getting idioter.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

“You’re like cherry lip gloss. I just can’t get enough.”

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

Rain cancels plans, upsetting some and delighting others.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

If you wear enough cardigans, people will assume you’re smart and you can stop reading entirely.

Just shared via Slack:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.

Just shared via WeChat:

I don’t wanna be dramatic but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Seen just now on Threads:

Just give your kids the iPad. They’re the ones who’ll be fighting cyborgs in the future.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

The show “How I Met Your Mother” was just a really long TED talk.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I only obey the traffic rules to get on other peoples’ nerves.

Going viral on Snapchat:

For the first time in history, you can simply post “He’s an idiot” and 90% of the world will know whom you’re talking about.

Freshly posted on X:

The only narcissist I allow in my life is my cat.

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