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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

It was so hot today, I thought I was going to be cremated.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Tuah Kill a Hawkingbird

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

My child had pancakes and syrup for breakfast so I guess I’ll be sticking to my furniture for the next week.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Whatever the plot is in Barbie’s movie, my dolls have been through worse.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Nothing worse than when I turn up to Park Run to find it is indeed going ahead.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

People are always saying “not today, Satan” but what if we just hear him out.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

You really have to enjoy the way a man is acting in the beginning, because you will never meet that man again.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Babies sighing is so funny to me. My dear, the time to sigh has not come.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

We need a holiday at the end of every summer that honours all the women who wore sundresses.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,698

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Love is not pushing them down the stairs when you have the opportunity.

Just landed via Telegram:

They should add a live chat to every Wikipedia article.

Shared recently on Threads:

About to form my very first opinion.

Going viral on TikTok:

One day my kids will move out and discover the dishes don’t clean themselves and I feel for them. I really do.

Making waves on YouTube:

I’d be a horrible stalker… I’m always late.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Me, in heaven: Can you take a photo of me sitting on that cloud?

Just shared via Slack:

There’s no one I respect more than duck hunters. You spent $15,000 on a camouflage boat to outsmart a duck.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Having a sunburn is so humiliating. Now everyone knows I was unprepared for the realities of the wilderness. It marks me as the weakest link. The hungry animals are closing in.

Live now on Discord:

Does anyone actually know how to pronounce Worcestershire sauce correctly, or do we all just stumble through it and hope for the best?

Seen just now on Discord:

Shutting up is gluten-free. Maybe add that to your diet, princess.

Funny fifty quotes

Funny fifty quotes are the perfect way to celebrate hitting the big 5-0 with laughter and style 🎉😂 Whether you’re embracing the wisdom or the wild side of turning fifty, these hilarious sayings will have you smiling, snorting, and maybe even dancing 💃🕺. Ready to add some humor to your milestone? Let’s dive into the funniest takes on being fabulous at fifty! 🎂🎈

New funny fifty quotes 👇

Fifty shades of I miss you.

3 weeks ago

fifty, humor, i, longing, love, miss, missing, missing someone, parody, pun, relationship, shades, someone, wordplay
Welcome to your fifties. Saturday Night Fever now means lots of rest, cold medicine, and chicken noodle soup.

3 weeks ago

age, aging, chicken, chicken noodle soup, cold, cold medicine, fever, fifty, health, humor, humor about age, means, medicine, night, noodle, rest, retirement, Saturday, Saturday Night Fever, soup, welcome

All funny fifty quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on YouTube this month:

Halloween is cool, but nothing is spookier than my previous choices in men.

16 shares on Instagram this month:

Not to brag, but my children already knew everything I told them today.

43 shares on Discord this month:

Being flirted with while you’re on the clock feels like a hostage situation.

75 shares on Messenger this month:

My boss was like, “People working from home are just pretending to work,” and it’s like, dude, what do you think I’m doing in the office?

70 shares on YouTube this month:

An orgasm before bed is nature’s strongest sleep aid.

13 shares on X this month:

Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.

34 shares on X this month:

50 is the new 30. Because it takes 50 bucks to buy what 30 used to.

75 shares on Instagram this month:

“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

31 shares on Discord this month:

I need to stop drinking so much. Did I say drinking? I meant thinking. I definitely need to drink more.

32 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If I were Juliet, I would NOT be pleased to find a man standing under my balcony at midnight. Sir, I am in my jim-jams.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

What if the universe wasn’t infinite or finite, but a secret third thing?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Honestly, I don’t even play an active role in my life any more. Things just happen and I’m like “I guess this is what we’re doing now.”

9 folks are currently checking 👀

They say you should dress for the job you want then send you home as “the stormtrooper suit is not appropriate work attire”.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not superstitious because it brings bad luck.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve done literally nothing all day, except feel guilty about doing nothing all day.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My car spider built a web across my steering wheel and now I can’t go anywhere.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The amount of people who “find God” after doing something evil needs to be studied.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Cause of death: Trying to draw eyebrows on the neighbor’s cat.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t even have to date, by the way. You can just take a break from love and then randomly meet the actual love of your life somewhere you weren’t even supposed to be.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,555

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

I’ve tasted being employed, and I’ve tasted being unemployed. I recommend not being born.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

American homes are so strange because, why is your front door in the living room?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Micro-dosing time travel by going to bed.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Don’t worry, darling, you won’t break me. Someone already beat you to it.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

The quality of clothing at retail stores today is quite literally the quality that Halloween costumes used to be.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

I do believe in aliens, but do they also believe in me?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Fact: cats sit on your lap to dominate you.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via LinkedIn:

Some people’s high horses are actually donkeys.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but my doctor says I have an irreversible terminal condition called aging.

Seen just now on Discord:

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

Freshly posted on Discord:

The ‘b’ in ‘subtle’ totally is.

Going viral on Discord:

The only Spanish I know is buenas noches, which means bonus nachos – like finding forgotten tortilla chips in your cargo shorts.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Everyone becomes a robo-dancer when the motion sensor faucet isn’t working.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Everybody’s back hurts until it’s time to have sexy time.

Making waves on Reddit:

Looking over both shoulders before googling “Chinese burger.”

Going viral on Facebook:

I personally feel like I have what it takes to become a fossil.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I would do absolutely anything for my friends, except answer their text messages.

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