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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Don’t tell me what to do unless you are naked.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Me: “I’m still young.” My bones: “No, we not.”

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

It’s so hot out, I just hydroplaned off the toilet seat at work.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

My boss told me to show initiative, so I decided to finish work early.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

My DMs are always open if you want to talk to yourself.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

This too shall pass, but what the hell?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

If chickens knew how good they tasted, they would understand.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Missionary, so I can look him in the eyes and ask him why Ashley from work is texting him with heart eyes.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Someone needs to make an app for a Tamagotchi that you keep alive by going offline.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,396

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

Three words no parent ever wants to hear when dropping their kid at a play date: “Come on in.”

Going viral on WeChat:

I hate everyone in front of me at this checkout line, everyone behind me is cool.

Just landed via Slack:

My chakra went out for cigarettes.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be turning you into a poem.

Just landed via Discord:

When a girl is done with you, she talks to you like she’s in HR or something.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

No longer chasing dreams. If they want me, they know where I nap.

Trending via Telegram:

Today marks a five year anniversary of how I’ll start going to the gym tomorrow.

Live now on Discord:

It’s always “your monthly bill is available,” never “this month is on us.”

Seen just now on Reddit:

The cool thing about being a procrastinator is, really bad ideas also don’t ever make it off the ground.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I can’t do the splits. But so far there has never been a situation where I’ve thought, “I should do the splits now.”

Funny financial decisions quotes

Funny financial decisions quotes bring a hilarious twist to money matters 💸😂 Whether you’ve splurged on something silly or tried budgeting (and failed), these witty gems remind us that everyone makes quirky money moves 💰🤪 Get ready to laugh at the ups and downs of our cash choices while feeling a little less alone in the financial chaos! 💵🎉

New funny financial decisions quotes 👇

All funny financial decisions quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Telegram this month:

The best part of having a failing memory is that you can wrap up presents for yourself, and when it comes time to open them, you are honestly surprised.

46 shares on Twitch this month:

Social media has dragged humans back into Plato’s cave, and chained them there.

29 shares on Slack this month:

I kind of enjoy living in a world where I can end a conversation by simply not texting back.

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s difficult to play hard to get when I’m already hard to want.

96 shares on TikTok this month:

Zara makes clothing for occasions that don’t exist.

51 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s almost time to put away my black summer clothes and bring out my black fall clothes.

88 shares on Snapchat this month:

Love when a doctor emails me about my “outstanding bill”. If it’s so good, why don’t you pay it?

82 shares on Telegram this month:

I was having a great Friday until I found out it was Thursday.

94 shares on Discord this month:

I like how my fridge also hums when it’s trying to concentrate.

50 shares on WeChat this month:

Days without shaking my head disapprovingly at myself: 0.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t wait to see my older sister so she can point out I have more gray hair than she does.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Savannah is one of the only girl’s names that’s also a significant “biome”.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The goal is to make your therapist cry.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

She didn’t leave you on read, bro. You left her on speechless.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Another customer getting a haircut started talking to my barber. Please don’t talk to my barber. You have your own.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Your problems are neither sexual nor spiritual, they are gastrointestinal.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s a rhyming Italian expression for saying “take it or leave it” that goes “o mangi questa minestra o salti dalla finestra”. It means “either eat this soup or throw yourself out the window”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,460

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Maybe if we paid our streaming services even more, they could stop jacking up the volume on the commercials they make us watch, even though we are paying for the service.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

“I’ve had cigarettes that were better than entire years of my life.”

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

If you ever see me running, it’s either away from my problems or towards an ice cream van.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

I started calling the new guy at work “Grok” because he thinks he knows everything.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

I now also have a device that tells me whether I’ve taken enough steps today. If I don’t make it one day, it barks and poops in my apartment.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Due to inflation, you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

“I’m sure it’ll turn up” – Translation: I’m bored of helping you look.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

People in NYC are like, let me know if you’re ever in NYC.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

My superpower is holding onto stuff for years and throwing it away exactly one week before I need it.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Having a sore throat as a giraffe must really suck.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

Do y’all watch the results come or do you go to bed and wait to see what Democracy Claus left you in the morning?

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Sure I collect antiques, if you count the late-century spices in my pantry.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

When Dr. Seuss wrote, “Oh, The Places You’ll Go,” he did not consider how comfortable my couch would be.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.

Just shared via WeChat:

There should be an opposite of Valentine’s Day where you post Instagram photos of your enemy.

Just landed via X:

Thank you for your password, now we are going to text you another password, then put that one in. Click ‘remember this computer’ so we can forget it.

Trending via TikTok:

So, if you are too tired to speak, sit next to me, because I am fluent in silence.

Making waves on Discord:

I don’t know if I’m pregnant or what, but I’ve been craving 3 million dollars so bad.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Your 20s are for trying soup, making new soups, and discussing soup or soup related topics.

Just shared via YouTube:

The older I get, the more I understand why people live in the woods and talk to squirrels.

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