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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¦ has viewed:

In university, you can literally tell who had no freedom at home.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡΄ has shared:

This site could use some more people who like to argue about literally anything.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Ό has downloaded:

Abandoned amusement parks are so creepy. It’s no wonder they were abandoned.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡Ή has shared:

It’s okay to admit you want my lips on yours.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Ή has downloaded:

Before they perfected the Q-tip, you have to wonder what kinds of horrific things went wrong with tips A-P.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡· has shared:

β€œWell, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¦ has shared:

There’s nothing I hate more than being comfy in bed and suddenly needing to pee.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡² has copied:

Your childhood wasn’t complete unless you were chased by a dog… or a goat… or even worse, a chicken.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡· has viewed:

Having a mom who cooks good food is such a big flex.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ό has shared:

Some people believe the appendix is a vestigial organ, that its use has long since passed. I think it’s primordial. Its use has yet to come.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,486

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Making waves on Messenger:

I am not old. I am in the prime of my decay.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

Freshly posted on X:

Don’t forget to set your clocks back to seasonal depression this weekend.

Seen just now on Instagram:

There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your five best friends and ten dogs.

Seen just now on Reddit:

How inappropriate is it to ask a stranger to scratch your back? Need to know ten minutes ago.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Not now, I’m befriending a crow and teaching it how to deliver handwritten love notes.

Making waves on YouTube:

They give smokers all those breaks to make up for the time taken off their lifespan.

Seen just now on X:

People who own banana costumes will wear that shit to anything.

Trending via Reddit:

No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

Just shared via X:

Don’t let me drive if you’re gonna scream every time we almost die.

Funny greedy quotes

Funny greedy quotes bring a hilarious twist to our love for more πŸ•πŸ’° Whether it’s about hoarding snacks or chasing endless riches, these witty lines capture that cheeky side of wanting it all 😜πŸ”₯ Get ready to laugh out loud and maybe even relate a little too much – because who doesn’t love a good dose of humor with a greedy grin? πŸ˜†βœ¨

New funny greedy quotes πŸ‘‡

All funny greedy quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on Threads this month:

Sometimes I feel useless, but then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

80 shares on Messenger this month:

I wish my hair had as much volume as my mouth.

99 shares on Telegram this month:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed over their chest because of the belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

79 shares on YouTube this month:

Dear LOL, thanks for being there when I have nothing else to say.

99 shares on Messenger this month:

Would have started saving money in kindergarten if I knew my life was like this.

86 shares on Discord this month:

Please be delicate with me, I’m built like a Nature Valley bar.

12 shares on Pinterest this month:

Apparently, telling your friends not to stress about their wedding because β€œit’s your first marriage” is not the right thing to say.

85 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Parallel parking: where true relationships are tested!

57 shares on TikTok this month:

Life is just a series of Sopranos references with some other things mixed in.

64 shares on Telegram this month:

You can eat cheesecake for breakfast if you want to. No one can stop you. The police can’t even stop you.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I love unfollowing people. You have displeased me for the last time. Leave my sight.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’ve named my couch American Idle.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If you ever ask a teen to do something and they just say β€œsure” without arguing, check that they haven’t been replaced with an android.

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My hobbies include sleeping and feeling like I’ve never slept.

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The world was better off when street gangs settled things with choreographed dance battles.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Apparently, it’s rude to poke someone in the forehead and yell “Skip Intro” when they start talking to you.

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

lol is punctuation and LOL is laugh out loud.

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Grok, put light in her eyes.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

While you were rotting and wasting your life away, I was doing the exact same thing.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,579

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡ͺ has copied:

If stores want to accurately display clothes for people over 40, the mannequins should be laying on a couch.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡³ has viewed:

(pausing the TV and turning to my kids) Now I want to talk to you guys for a second about what Bart just told that man to do.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡§ has viewed:

Welcome to Twitter, some random, judgmental stranger will be along shortly to complain about your tweets.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡± has shared:

When they have a dream sequence in a movie, how do they film the person’s dream?

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ί has viewed:

A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until they’ve hit their head. 2. Say β€œOoh, mind your head!”

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ό has bookmarked:

Don’t date coworkers. Being the hot coworker nobody at work has a chance with is always the best role to play.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ύ has bookmarked:

Best time to reach me is when I’m at work. Don’t bother me when I’m at home.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡» has bookmarked:

People my age are on baby #2, and I’m on drink #5.

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡² has bookmarked:

Your nose is in the middle of your face because it is the scenter.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡· has viewed:

The worst thing you can do while cleaning is sit down for a minute.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just landed via Telegram:

Bowling: The most fun you can have wearing someone else’s shoes.

Shared recently on X:

Indiana Jones is a fantasy about being a professor with no admin duties.

Shared recently on Telegram:

In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

Trending via Slack:

I like people who make eye contact like they know something I don’t.

Just landed via Twitch:

This Monday has Monday written all over it.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Rewatching Avengers: Age of Ultron. Despite the title, they never tell you how old Ultron is.

Trending via X:

Imagine surviving Covid 19 and then China releases Covid 19S Plus Pro.

Just landed via Telegram:

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.

Making waves on Messenger:

I know I seem a little crazy sometimes, but that’s because I AM.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

How am I supposed to relax when there are things?

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