Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

All my bills say “Outstanding.” I guess I am good to go.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Lou Read is the name of my favorite musician and also the book I keep in the toilet.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Sometimes being alive feels like being a pornstar who is asexual.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

“I’m so grateful that so many things are none of my business.”

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

If the USA is so great, why did someone make the USB?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Most venomous snakes just make “Tsssss”. But I know some that say “Hi”.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

A mustache is just mouth bangs.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

After smartphones, we never got pictures of Bigfoot anymore. You know why? That’s right: 5G killed all the Bigfoots.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

I’m perverted, but in an elegant and whimsical way.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,553

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Messenger:

I feel like everyone who has ever had a hamster has some kind of traumatic experience with it.

Trending via Reddit:

If the line at the grocery store takes longer than 10 minutes, the candy beside the checkout should be free.

Going viral on Reddit:

Saw a big spider crawl into my closet last night. He’s probably in there trying on all my clothes, acting like he’s me.

Making waves on Reddit:

Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The only person I ever call is my wife, and that’s just when we’re trying to find her phone.

Shared recently on Threads:

It’s so foggy outside. Y’all gotta stop vaping.

Breaking via TikTok:

McDonald’s needs a 3rd window so you can trade in all the wrong stuff they gave you.

Spotted on Instagram:

Born to be a hater, forced to understand your perspective.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Am I just getting old or are people getting more annoying?

Just landed via Facebook:

I am stoned and laying in bed reading, and the idea of Santa going on Ozempic popped into my head, and I whispered, “No!”

Funny greedy quotes

Funny greedy quotes bring a hilarious twist to our love for more 🍕💰 Whether it’s about hoarding snacks or chasing endless riches, these witty lines capture that cheeky side of wanting it all 😜🔥 Get ready to laugh out loud and maybe even relate a little too much – because who doesn’t love a good dose of humor with a greedy grin? 😆✨

New funny greedy quotes 👇

All funny greedy quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Telegram this month:

You got a better chance getting chased by a dog than by me.

33 shares on WeChat this month:

Men, it’s really simple. We want everything, but nothing, at the same time or different times, sometimes but not always.

80 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m not just a pretty face, I’m also a massive disappointment to my family.

88 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If David Bowie taught us anything, it’s that being a little weird is better than being forgettable.

27 shares on Messenger this month:

I talk to myself in the same condescending tone, so you’re not special.

73 shares on Discord this month:

I had no social life in high school. Even my imaginary best friend had a date for the prom.

12 shares on Facebook this month:

Girls be like “forget it, I’m fine” then set your house on fire.

61 shares on X this month:

I’m having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by.

33 shares on X this month:

If you get bitten by a snake and you’re not sure if it was poisonous, simply wait to see if you die or not. That should give you your answer.

69 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Just thinking how many animals we had to ride on before we realized horses were ok with it.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The sun really clocks out for the day before I do. That’s insane.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My coffee and I used to be hot. Now, we’re just bitter.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My knight in shining armor comes in liquid form.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Wanna go back to my place and meow at each other?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I love that my dog always comes home from the groomer wearing a bandana. It’s like he was only gone for three hours, but joined a gang in that time.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel bad for those that don’t enjoy their own company. I be having a ball by myself.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

We need a word for a type of person who spends all their time working to live in a city so they can be near cool things, but they don’t actually like going out.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Never faked an orgasm before, but the joy of ugly presents.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My motivation and me: It’s complicated.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,324

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

You can do laundry every day and still be behind on laundry.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

At the club asking for Ibuprofen.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

I’d be really slim if it wasn’t for birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, weekends and me.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

You cannot trust me at a zoo because I’ll release the animals.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Christmas adverts: “Eat all the food! Drink all the drink! Spoil yourself! It’s Christmas!” New year adverts: “Look at what you’ve done to yourself, you fat sack of shit!”

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

I don’t hate anyone in particular, I just hate everyone in general.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Aging is the worst. I miss the good ol’ days when my pain was strictly emotional.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

American Feng Shui is when the grill doesn’t wobble.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Life is basically avoiding people who have seen you naked, whilst trying to find new people to see you naked.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Now hush, Lil Labubu, don’t you cry, everything’s gonna be Dubai.

Just landed via Reddit:

I hate it when I gain 20 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Going bananas on X:

Giving people access to the internet was a massive mistake.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Is it too late to reset my life back to factory settings?

Shared recently on TikTok:

User: the word computer professionals use when they mean ‘idiot.’

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’m growing a mullet so no one will want to hangout with me.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I just need my friends to know I would do absolutely anything for them, except reply to their message.

Seen just now on Threads:

At what age do people actually meet up to play bingo? I’m ready.

Going viral on Slack:

Nobody gets angrier than a man being accused of something he actually did.

Seen just now on Discord:

God ate when he created sleep, what a beautiful concept.

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