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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ή has bookmarked:

Not to sound like a potted plant, but sunlight and fresh air really make a difference.

Someone from πŸ‡ΎπŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

They should invent a way to delete other people’s posts.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ώ has downloaded:

Please don’t be mean to me, because I can be meaner and I hate being mean.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ώ has viewed:

Me, having zero balance in my account, viewing houses worth 10 million, and being like, “No, I don’t like the kitchen.”

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

The audacity of my parents’ oldies station now playing 80s music.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡© has shared:

The sound of rain outside when you’re in bed is elite.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡ͺ has bookmarked:

At a certain age, all you really want is a good mattress.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡· has downloaded:

I haven’t given up on my fairy-tale ending. I still plan to be eaten by a wolf.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Έ has downloaded:

I’m not saying I need glasses. But today I watched a bunny in a meadow until it flew away.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡΄ has downloaded:

Hawk o the mornin tuah

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,690

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Before you call me an idiot consider this: I know!

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Women’s fall fashion is basically coming up with ways to wear a blanket without it looking like you’re wearing a blanket.

Seen just now on WeChat:

My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

Just landed via X:

Everyone is all β€œlove is patient” during the wedding, but when there’s a long line for the open bar, not so much.

Seen just now on YouTube:

If she forgives you, then 30 minutes later comes back mad again: that means she told her friends in her group chat, and the board of directors did not agree.

Making waves on WeChat:

Imagine thinking you have any clue what’s going on.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

The amount of sleeping I’ve done over the past few days has been phenomenal. I genuinely love doing absolutely nothing.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Starting to think business is standing on me.

Just landed via Slack:

I don’t dress for women. I don’t dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.

Funny harm quotes

Funny harm quotes bring a cheeky twist to life’s little mishaps and oops moments πŸ˜…πŸ’₯. They turn pain into punchlines and make those awkward blunders a bit more bearable πŸ˜‚πŸŽ­. Whether you’re laughing at yourself or sharing a witty jab, these quotes add humor to harm and remind us that sometimes, laughter really is the best medicine! 😜✨

New funny harm quotes πŸ‘‡

All funny harm quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on TikTok this month:

Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.

21 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Don’t listen to any thoughts about yourself if your hair isn’t washed. It’s just not true.

70 shares on Snapchat this month:

The worst part about being an adult is that no matter how sad you get, the show must go on.

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The more water you drink, the more bathroom breaks, the less you work. Stay hydrated.

58 shares on Twitch this month:

Having a sore throat as a giraffe must really suck.

39 shares on Threads this month:

Thinking after a concert that the artist liked your city/show the most is like thinking the bartender flirted with you.

16 shares on Instagram this month:

When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

100 shares on Facebook this month:

There should be a website where you post your wishes, and rich people who don’t know what to do with their money give you an anonymous gift.

93 shares on LinkedIn this month:

USPS tracking: Step 1: We don’t think it exists. Step 2: Delivered.

92 shares on Instagram this month:

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My reality check bounced, guess I’ll have to stay insane for the time being.

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

You don’t have to write every day to be a writer! You just have to feel guilty every day that you don’t.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I named my dog “5 Miles,” so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The 69 obsession turning into 67 is a recession indicator.

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

People shouldn’t be at the grocery store the same time as me. Get out of the way.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

It’s strange that watching paint dry is considered boring but going to an art gallery is considered interesting. That’s just watching paint that’s already dry.

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Can you imagine if AI ever evolves into trying to kill us, and the thing that saves us is one of Cloudflare’s outages?

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Liking someone romantically is actually just a humiliation ritual.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,618

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡± has shared:

People who shower at night are bold enough to assume tomorrow’s even happening.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ύ has shared:

I was very disappointed when I found out drinking alcohol doesn’t actually kill brain cells, I was hoping to join a political party one day.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¨ has viewed:

Sausage might clog my arteries, but it lubricates my soul.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

I think my type is a nice person.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡Ί has copied:

I bet the kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were surprised when found out their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

All I’ve ever wanted is to look good naked, hope that someone can take it.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Ό has viewed:

Sorry I’m late, my dog was sleeping in the shape of a donut and I had to take so many photos.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡Ώ has shared:

Money can’t buy happiness, until you’re on vacation and then you realize it definitely can.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡« has viewed:

There’s no reason my stomach should be growling, I just gave it some iced coffee.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¦ has downloaded:

Asked a German girl for her number, and I’m still waiting for the rest of the digits. So far, all I have is “nine.”

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Breaking via Facebook:

Bro, you will never rewatch that 7-minute video you took of fireworks. Just live in the moment.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

Trending via Discord:

Did 900 crunches today. It was a bag of Cheetos, but still.

Breaking via X:

The difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body is that I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Trending via Slack:

That feeling when it’s Friday, you blink once, and somehow it’s Monday again.

Just shared via X:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not so sure anymore.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I am crumbling under the tyranny of constantly needing to ‘Create an Account’.

Just shared via WeChat:

Did it make you feel powerful when you didn’t let me merge onto the highway?

Going viral on Reddit:

Forget tagging friends, I want to be able to tag my enemies.

Live now on YouTube:

Guys have good pics on their dating profiles because their ex took them.

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