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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

The lion does not concern himself with attaching a cover letter.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Floating on a rock in space, but yeah – 9 to 5 sounds reasonable.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Ladies, if a man says he will fix something, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

I love when the restaurant bathroom has different music playing than the restaurant. It’s like I’m going to Club Pee Pee.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

My sex life is so dead, it has its own tombstone.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Absolute worst time of year to have a secret family. Hands down.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

People at the library need to learn how to be quiet. Some of us are trying to beatbox over here.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

May the algorithms be with you.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Women only want one thing and it is to walk down a dimly-lit cobblestone street with the devil.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Don’t worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Jan 7, 2026

3,690

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Whoever said, “Laughter is the best medicine,” clearly never tried Revenge.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Is it stupid and irresponsible? Yes. Will it make me happy? Also yes.

Just landed via X:

Main difference between me and my jokes is that folks don’t laugh at my jokes.

Spotted on Reddit:

Moment of silence for those who received mugs that aren’t microwave- and dishwasher-safe.

Just landed via Twitch:

If you get drunk and message your ex, don’t worry. When you wake up, send bitcoin ads and pretend you were hacked.

Live now on Instagram:

Whoever named the grapefruit when there was already a fruit named grape. Incompetent legend. I wish we could hang out.

Just shared via Threads:

Sorry I’m late, there was bubble wrap.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

You don’t realize how incorrect and annoying YouTube video essays are until they’re about something you like.

Going viral on Pinterest:

My child had pancakes and syrup for breakfast so I guess I’ll be sticking to my furniture for the next week.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Twitter is Iike the smoking area for social media.

Funny harm quotes

Funny harm quotes bring a cheeky twist to life’s little mishaps and oops moments 😅💥. They turn pain into punchlines and make those awkward blunders a bit more bearable 😂🎭. Whether you’re laughing at yourself or sharing a witty jab, these quotes add humor to harm and remind us that sometimes, laughter really is the best medicine! 😜✨

New funny harm quotes 👇

That boring, introverted life you’re living has probably protected you from a lot of harm and bad experiences.

0

5 days ago

bad, boring, boring life, experience, experiences, harm, introvert, life, living, lot, protection

Someone from 🇮🇹 has recently bookmarked this quote.

120 shares on WhatsApp this month.
Death cannot harm me more than you have harmed me, my beloved life.

0

2 months ago

beloved, beloved life, death, emotional, emotional humor, harm, humor, irony, life, life struggle, me, pain, struggle

Someone from 🇬🇶 has recently shared this quote.

15 shares on Twitch this month.
I’m sorry I lied to you. I only did it for material gain. And to cause you psychological harm. And to prove I’m smarter than you.

0

2 months ago

apology, cause, gain, harm, honesty, humor, i, lie, manipulation, material, material gain, only, prove, psychological, psychological harm, sarcasm, smarter, sorry

Someone from 🇹🇯 has recently shared this quote.

118 shares on Messenger this month.

All funny harm quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on WeChat this month:

As a retiree, I have two pairs of pajamas. Bedtime and daytime. Sometimes I get them confused.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

When it rains in New York, the train starts smelling like hamster.

33 shares on Instagram this month:

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

45 shares on Instagram this month:

I was actually doing so well until your email found me.

31 shares on Messenger this month:

I had a healthy appendix removed, just to show the other organs that I will not tolerate any bullshit.

85 shares on X this month:

Demi Lovato is short for demilitarized love potato.

60 shares on Facebook this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here looking at soup recipes.

17 shares on Slack this month:

Boys say that girls are dramatic, but have you ever plucked a man’s eyebrow? They act like they’ve been shot.

43 shares on Telegram this month:

There aren’t any emojis that really express any meaningful sort of anguish.

57 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ll kill the vibe, so you don’t have to.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Take my advice, I’m not using it.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

“Topless” doesn’t always mean breasts or a convertible. Sometimes it also means the brain.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

How coked up was the guy that came up with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Not now, babe, it’s my nightly phone enrichment time.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

“Slipping in the shower and trying to hold on to the water jet…” Shall I tell you more about myself?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m doing a challenge called ‘November’ — it’s where I just try to get through every day in the month of November.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The phrase “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Proverbs are so mean. Like, I don’t deserve any worm because I woke up at 11am? Like, no worm at all?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Pepsi & Coca-Cola can’t even be in the same restaurant… and we want world peace.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,290

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

I can’t believe Halloween was 10 pounds ago.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Rather than touching grass, I recommend going to a concert and experiencing the live performance of that one song you hold religiously close to your heart.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Just did my best horse impression and the doctor still won’t give me ketamine.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Most people prefer lies. The truth just hits them like a WiFi outage, and then they just stand there, confused and buffering.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

And is this “year-end bonus” in the room with us right now?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

One of my greatest strengths is appearing busy so people don’t try to speak to me.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

If you can figure out how to configure your default state to be slightly amused rather than slightly annoyed, you pretty much enter God Mode.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

This year, the feliz is not navidading.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

When I get tired of shopping, I sit down and try on shoes.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

The worst part of a fender bender is having to get out of your car and meet a new person.

Seen just now on Slack:

At my next job, I’m gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Need a book club for people who all just happened to read the same book but hated it and now need to vent.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Wine drunk doesn’t even make itself known. You’re just relaxed, and then, all of a sudden, you feel sexier.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Not only is it not Friday, it’s not even Thursday.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

Trending via YouTube:

If she wants the moon, you get her the moon.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Flying bugs can basically go anywhere they want, but still choose to fly right into your face.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

What must a pancake think when it’s being flipped? Doubtless something jolly.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I figured out how they built the pyramids. No internet.

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