Commentary:
"Back in my day, we captured memories with hearts, not hashtags! 💖 Who needs Insta fame when you've got a heart full of special moments, am I right? 📸 #NostalgicHeart"
Tag Archives: 74 Funny heart quotes
You want me to turn around? The thing that led to a total eclipse of the heart.
Commentary:
“Turn around? Oh, you mean do a 180-degree heartbreak dance under the total eclipse of the heart 🌑💔. Sometimes love takes us on a cosmic rollercoaster ride!”
The first person to see a peacock spread his tail probably had a heart attack.
Commentary:
"Can you imagine the surprise on their face? 😱 Talk about a feathered heart-stopper! 🦚💥 #peacockproblems"
I may not understand women, but cheeseburgers have never sent me mixed signals, and for that they’ll always have my heart.
Commentary:
"Who needs love when you've got cheeseburgers? 🍔❤️ At least they always come through with their deliciousness! No mixed signals, just pure beefy goodness. Cheeseburgers, the real MVPs of relationships! 😄👌"
My heart says, chocolate and wine, but my jeans say “Woman, are you kidding? Eat a salad!”
Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle between the heart and the jeans! 🍫🍷 vs. 🥗 Who will win this epic battle of cravings and calories? Maybe just wear stretchy pants and call it a day! 😅 #FoodieProblems"
I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.
Commentary:
"Looks like Valentine's Day plans just got celebrity-crushed! 💔 Sorry, boyfriend, but sharing Salma Hayek might be a bit out of the budget. 😜 Maybe next year you can aim for someone a wee bit more attainable! 😉"
Don’t break someone’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206 of them.
Commentary:
"Remember, it's cheaper to buy a new set of bones than to fix a broken heart! 💔💪 Breakups just got a whole lot more practical! #BoneStrong"
He just walked right into my heart and switched on the lights.
Commentary:
Sounds like he's got an electrician's license in love! 💡❤️😂
Rewatching my story every time somebody heart it to see what they see.
Commentary:
That awkward moment when your own story feels like a Netflix series you didn't know you signed up for until someone hit 'like' 😂📱👀
Girl dinner, but it’s the hearts of men who wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.
Commentary:
When you're all out of snack ideas, just feast on man'splaining instead. 🍽️🫀😏