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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Had chicken and egg for dinner because I wanted to eat the whole family.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

The problem with salad is, it’s salad.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

If barking at nothing was an Olympic sport, my dog would win gold.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

God forbid a girl uses shopping as her coping mechanism.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is that don’t do that.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Ponytails are only hot on women, bro.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Dude so boring, it’s like his personality swiped left on him.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

“Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have” is all well and good until you’re rocking a tutu.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,628

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

My favorite part about health insurance is how your teeth and eyeballs are add-ons.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

The problem with leading by example is that no one pays attention.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Tried a smile yesterday and my white blood cells attacked it.

Making waves on Telegram:

Studies show young people are having less sex than previous generations. I knew I was ahead of my time.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I love you to the refrigerator and back.

Making waves on Discord:

Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.

Going viral on Discord:

No longer praying on your downfall. I will be directly involved.

Seen just now on Slack:

If you did the weekend right, your coffee needs coffee today.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I like smoke and lightning, your honor, heavy metal thunder, racing with the wind. You know that feeling I am under.

Funny hitchhiker quotes

Funny hitchhiker quotes 🚗😂 bring a smile to the road trip vibes and lighten up those long drives! Whether you’re the one thumbing a ride or the driver spotting a quirky character, these witty lines add a hilarious twist to every adventure. Buckle up for some roadside humor that’s as unpredictable as the journey itself! 🌟🛣️ #RoadTripLaughs #HitchhikerHumor

New funny hitchhiker quotes 👇

All funny hitchhiker quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on Facebook this month:

Sorry, I had to cancel plans. The prophecy said so.

32 shares on Reddit this month:

When planning dinner, remember that ice-cream has both calcium and protein.

88 shares on Instagram this month:

“Out of sight, out of mind” doesn’t work for donuts.

82 shares on WeChat this month:

I can cope well with most situations. Hearing someone smack is not one of them.

18 shares on WeChat this month:

Being gracefully unhinged is the only way to get through the everyday bullshit.

65 shares on Slack this month:

Apparently, stress balls are not supposed to be thrown at people who are stressing you out.

72 shares on Instagram this month:

Hate Google’s Gemini. If I wanted to get misinformation from a Gemini, I’d talk to my mother.

71 shares on Threads this month:

Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I can’t afford a vehicle with wing doors, so I buy the Tupperware with lids which open that way.

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

Caffeine is not enough anymore, I need to chew on a power line.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You know you’re the father of teen boys when a shoe print on the ceiling no longer fazes you.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Waking up early is always beneficial. You just gotta make it past those first 10 minutes of being irritated.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Might mess around and reply “history will absolve me” to all work emails.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My best friend is married and buying a house. I ate popcorn for dinner.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

You know shit’s about to get real when I put on yoga pants before dessert.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re the type of person who likes to be left alone, I’m with you. Better yet, I’m not with you.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d like to place an order for a large kiss and an extra-long hug.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting a hug for Christmas.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I asked myself if I was toxic and we said no.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,484

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Please help my husband and I decide on dinner. We’ve narrowed it down to “It doesn’t matter” and “It’s your turn to choose”.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Nobody victim blames more than my oldest son when he’s in trouble for punching his little brother.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Sugar held my hand through every breakup.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

The only time you should be faking it is when your pet checks to see if you’re awake.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

The older I get, the more I lose my looks. But I’m also losing my eyesight, so it’s not my problem.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Got a botched circumcision, now my willy wonka.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

The real flex is becoming the woman he cannot run back to.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend clearly has never met shredded cheese.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

My whole life is basically a blooper reel.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

My husband thinks he can just order me around like he’s one of the cats.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I don’t get involved in anyone’s business, let alone their drama. You should try it.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Perks of being a girl: You can think about whatever you want in public without worrying about boners.

Making waves on Instagram:

Waving at the end of every Zoom call like it’s the 1800s and a big steamship is leaving the harbor.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I wanted to wear some hot lingerie, but didn’t have any, so I put on this red dental floss.

Spotted on Reddit:

All mushrooms are edible. Some only once.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Starting a new life today, bye.

Freshly posted on Discord:

A gentle reminder that if your birth year starts with a 19, you should consider wrapping the Christmas presents on a table, and not on the floor.

Seen just now on Reddit:

“I thought it might be nice to go around the room and have everyone introduce themselves, including a fun fact.” You thought wrong.

Just shared via Instagram:

Self-care is putting your face on a very soft cat.

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