Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Once this pandemic ends, I’m legit quitting video games and getting a girlfriend for real.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Never signed up for a 401k cause there’s no way in hell I can run that far.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

If caterpillars are able to sleep for a long time and come out prettier, why cant I?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Oh, to be a rich, beautiful woman in her big car, driving to buy overpriced groceries to stock up her breathtaking kitchen in her gorgeous house.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

How long are you allowed to hide in the bathroom during family visits?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Your childhood wasn’t complete unless you were chased by a dog… or a goat… or even worse, a chicken.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Flex on your kids by asking “are we there yet?” before they do.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

1994: I can’t wait to see what the world is like in 30 years. 2024: God no.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

I still haven’t heard one good argument why I should stop believing in Santa.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Please continue to leave me out of the loop.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,344

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

Everyone thinks they’re a badass until seaweed brushes their leg.

Making waves on WeChat:

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

Spotted on WeChat:

Aliens traveled millions of light years to get here to visit New Jersey.

Making waves on WeChat:

Common sense is so rare these days that it should be considered a superpower.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Ladies, repeat after me: “I was wrong and I am sorry!”

Breaking via Telegram:

When life gives you lemons, take the lemons. They were a gift. Maybe life thought you liked lemons. Did you think about that? No, you’re always thinking about yourself.

Seen just now on Slack:

Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

One time I refused to buy a watch because it was only waterproof to 100 meters. Not sure what sort of future I was imagining for myself there.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

For Halloween, I’m going as an emotional roller coaster.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

Funny hose quotes

Funny hose quotes 🌈💦 bring a splash of laughter to everyday chores! Whether you’re watering the garden or battling a sprinkler mishap, these witty lines turn hose time into a comedy show 😂🎉. Ready to hose down your worries and soak up some humor? Let’s dive into the funniest sayings that make even the driest tasks a whole lot more fun! 🚿🌻

New funny hose quotes 👇

All funny hose quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Twitch this month:

I hope all of you get laid and not laid off this year. Amen.

26 shares on Slack this month:

People should be able to call in healthy: “Look, I’m not coming into the office today. I feel really good and I don’t want to waste it on being at work.“

50 shares on Facebook this month:

My therapist said cutting people off isn’t healthy. She’s next.

10 shares on Reddit this month:

The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

98 shares on Slack this month:

Zen and the Art of Empty Pockets.

24 shares on Reddit this month:

Has anyone seen my invisibility cloak?

41 shares on X this month:

Everyone’s gangster until they use a pen that is satisfyingly smooth and fun to write with.

29 shares on X this month:

My sister: snowboards. My brother: skateboards. Me: charcuterie boards.

90 shares on Snapchat this month:

I used to think money is everything. I still think money is everything.

81 shares on Snapchat this month:

The real hack is pouring all that lover girl energy into yourself.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting real tired of my own bullshit.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

A good French onion soup will have you acting like a pervert.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

So, if you are too tired to speak, sit next to me, because I am fluent in silence.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The human body requires so much maintenance. Who designed this thing?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not deleting my Twitter, I was here before Elon.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve surpassed the need for coffee, for I have evolved into a higher state of awesome.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Me pulling into a full parking lot: Don’t these people have homes?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I think Cinderella should have lived a happy life with all her animal friends rather than settle for a man who had her try on a shoe because he didn’t recognize her without makeup.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s protein in foods that have never been protein before.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,700

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Kids be like, I see you have a moment to yourself, and I must correct that immediately.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Life is too short. Tell his mom what he did to you.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

There are people who leave comments on porn videos.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

You know when a donkey followed Shrek home and just kept talking? That’s what it’s like having kids.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Please hesitate to reach out.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Being rich is going to look so cute on me.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

They always say, there is someone for everyone… unfortunately, the person for me is a therapist.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

The actors you see in movies are probably home by now.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I want to be cremated so that I will get a smoking-hot body again.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Fun fact: The US was originally not meant to be a reality TV show.

Spotted on TikTok:

LinkedIn: where you desperately hope that one idiot you had a drink with six years ago can somehow help get you a job.

Going bananas on Messenger:

This post ain’t gonna like itself, damn.

Making waves on TikTok:

(pausing the TV and turning to my kids) Now I want to talk to you guys for a second about what Bart just told that man to do.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I would love to have children one day. Two days maximum.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The female rage of having so much to say but refusing to say it, cause their emotional intelligence is too low for them to comprehend it.

Making waves on Discord:

I love ketchup from my head to-ma-toes.

Trending via Pinterest:

Sometimes I wanna delete all my social media and throw my phone into a river.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I like to stay grounded by keeping the weight of the world on my shoulders.

Just shared via Twitch:

Unfortunately, I am not nonchalant, I will set myself on fire.

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