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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Nothing angers me more than tall ghosts in horror movies. No one born in 1782 was that tall. Do your research, screenwriters.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

The older I get, the more I understand why people live in the woods and talk to squirrels.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

I’m super lazy today. It’s like normal lazy but I’m wearing a cape.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

A relationship is like a shark, it looks better on TV.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

She’s got style. She’s got grace. She dropped her cellphone on her face. She’s a lady.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Eleven out of ten people are stupid.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

I Knew Better, But I Did It Anyway: A Memoir

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

I’ve decided that I need to eat more vegetables, so I’m gonna make a carrot cake later.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

NFTs were less about the money and more about the friends you scammed along the way.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Aging is the worst. I miss the good ol’ days when my pain was strictly emotional.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

829 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,991

Funny Quotes Topics

13,935

Funny Quotes Images

10,991

Updated

48 minutes ago

Users Online

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Public transportation is great, but they should invent a type where it’s only me in the vehicle.

Trending via Reddit:

No, I’m not stressed. I just constantly grind my teeth and clench my jaw for fun.

Just shared via Reddit:

Jan 1st: Avocado on whole grain toast with a protein shake. Jan 20th: Syrup comes from a tree so technically it’s a vegetable.

Spotted on WeChat:

Meetings are a wonderful way to help your employees take a break from being productive.

Spotted on Threads:

Twitter is for people who tried suffering in silence and realized it wasn’t for them.

Reported on Telegram:

The cool thing about ignoring a notification is being surprised to see it over and over again.

Going viral on Threads:

If they played poker with potato chips, I’d have a gambling problem.

Just shared via TikTok:

I wish I was as tired in bed at night as I am after lunch at work.

Breaking via Instagram:

Sunday is my favorite day where I pretend I’m going to do something productive.

Just landed via Discord:

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

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Funny hose quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

829 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,991

Funny Quotes Topics

13,935

Funny Quotes Images

10,991

Updated

48 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

I’m so sick of these little 30-minute weekends.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

The pumpkin was invented in 1942 when a watermelon put on a pair of corduroys.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Has someone told the whales that they can’t sing?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I wanna meet the person whose parents are super disappointed he went to medical school instead of becoming a stand-up comedian.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Don’t be afraid to ask questions during a job interview. It’s the best way to find out if the person you’re interviewing is a good candidate for the job.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

You look like the type of person that would fart in bed and Dutch Oven yourself.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

I tried to take a picture of myself in the shower, but my camera kept fogging up. I have selfie steam issues.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’m going to be a printer today and just not work.

Shared recently on Threads:

Fun fact: Malcolm X was not his birth name. He was originally Malcolm Twitter.

Reported on Snapchat:

I don’t need a New Year’s resolution, it’s the year’s turn to be better.

Breaking via WeChat:

Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you pick the right partner.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Going to the beach is 99% getting ready for the beach and 1% enjoying the beach.

Spotted on Facebook:

I’m not being mean. I’m just too old to pretend to like you.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Just broke a clothes hanger and now have seven years of bad outfits.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

My kid asked where babies come from and I said everywhere, man, they’re worldwide.

Shared recently on Telegram:

If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.

Spotted on Facebook:

I thought Game of Thrones was a pooping contest for men.

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