Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Sorry I can’t carpool to work. That’s the time I use to angry scream.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Soup is great for when you’re hungry but want to still feel hungry afterward.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

I now also have a device that tells me whether I’ve taken enough steps today. If I don’t make it one day, it barks and poops in my apartment.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew that I wanted to be late for work.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Okay, new plan, I’m going to marry a Kardashian.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Living your life to the fullest does not have to involve selfies with bison.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

If oats can be milk, you can be whatever you want.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Can’t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Gonna end every insult with “but in a good way”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

35 minutes ago

Users Online

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Men tell you “I know a place” and bring you to the brink of madness.

Trending via Threads:

I was once told that if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. Due to this, I’ve been observing a vow of silence since 1997.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Sure the Lego botanical sets are great but dusting them is another story.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

My dog sighs a lot for someone who doesn’t pay any bills.

Live now on Discord:

Hate when you’re trying to take a nap and the dentist is all “Please open your mouth.”

Going viral on Twitch:

Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition?

Going viral on Discord:

I don’t carry my wallet to work because I’m afraid someone will steal it while I’m sleeping.

Reported on Instagram:

The only reason I insist on returning to the office is because my cat needs a break from me staring at him all day.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode the bikes when we were young.

Making waves on Twitch:

I’m so desperate for a vacation that at this point I’d spend an all inclusive week at Jurassic Park.

Home » Funny Housemate Quotes

Funny housemate quotes

New funny housemate quotes 👇

For even more funny housemate quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny housemate quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

35 minutes ago

Users Online

3,421

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Had a king sized bed all to myself last night. Must be what Rose felt like on that door.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

My DNA came back saying I come from a wide selection of cheeses.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

There’s something so romantic about getting McDonald’s with a lover. Intimate perhaps.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class… it never ends.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

If at first you don’t succeed, that’s so embarrassing. Why are you so bad at this?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

One thing no one mentions about being an adult is how much time you debate with yourself over keeping a cardboard box because it’s a really good box.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Don’t rush into a relationship. Be friends first. Maybe they have hotter friends. Thank me later.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Lord of the Rings is a story about a brave little Hobbit on a mission to destroy a ring and save the world, and his annoying friend Frodo.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

Breaking via Reddit:

You know you’re over 40 when you clean your house to the music you used to get drunk to.

Going viral on Threads:

I’m too lazy to be a superhero. If I had laser eyes, I’d probably just use them to heat soup or something.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Damn, didn’t win the lottery. It’s messing up my budget plan.

Trending via Discord:

To all the people with grammatical issues, don’t worry, I also have problems with badly timed periods.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won’t notice. Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Look, babe, I’m sorry. If your fake British accent keeps being this geographically inconsistent, I’m going to have to cancel the medieval roleplay sex.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

Just landed via X:

I’ll never salute you, General Settings.

Going viral on Slack:

The nerve of a majority of people I meet being younger than me. How dare them?

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴