Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Elect a clown, expect a circus.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

IKEA products should be cheaper, I’m doing all the work here. It’s like ordering takeout food and still having to cook it when it arrives.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

If you pass out in front of your kids they will either try to call an ambulance or use you as a trampoline. You just don’t know.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Every night at bedtime I do one small ritual: six hours on my cell phone.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Job posting: $15/hr for master’s degree. Burrito menu: $23 for bean and cheese burrito.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

New York is so awesome. Like, yes, let’s spend $108 for breakfast and walk past homeless people freezing.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Meatloaf is a good safe word. It means I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that…

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

I don’t even want to talk about the things I had to do to that elf to get back on the nice list.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Opening a Star Wars pub called Bar Bar Binks.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

235 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,504

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,504

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,589

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Twitch:

I hope one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Just landed via Reddit:

I’m on a spinning rock in outer space, and I have to answer work emails.

Seen just now on X:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I want his favorite sports team to finish last every year for now and forever.

Trending via Twitch:

Being excited to get in bed is a different level of adulting.

Seen just now on Facebook:

This meeting could have been a cake.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Always remember, if you ever need me, I’m just several phone calls and unread texts away.

Spotted on Telegram:

Website: We use cookies to improve performance. Me: Same.

Just landed via Pinterest:

When I’m president, everyone who listens to techno, house or rap will be allowed to drive a little faster than others.

Going bananas on Slack:

I’ve got 50 minutes to make it look like I’ve been flossing for the last 6 months.

Live now on Pinterest:

Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

Funny housemate quotes

Funny housemate quotes bring all the laughs and relatable moments from living with your quirky crew 🏠😂 Whether it’s messy habits, unexpected noises, or those unforgettable inside jokes, these gems capture the chaos and charm of shared spaces perfectly 🤪💬 Get ready to smile and nod because everyone knows that housemate life is never dull! 🎉👯‍♂️

New funny housemate quotes 👇

All funny housemate quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Telegram this month:

Everyone is using AI to write business emails, texts, etc. At this point in time, we may as well just tell our AIs to talk to each other and then let us know what kind of deal they worked out.

36 shares on Discord this month:

Jesus, I need money to organize your birthday.

13 shares on Slack this month:

I’ve realized that some people don’t like me, but I’ve also realized that I don’t give a shit.

15 shares on Discord this month:

Every frozen pizza is a canvas that needs an artist’s touch.

82 shares on Discord this month:

So I just keep making dinner? Every night of my life? For forever?

12 shares on Telegram this month:

Crazy how people can merge perfectly at McDonald’s, but not on the highway.

80 shares on Pinterest this month:

Girls are perverts when they like you.

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s way too easy to lie online. I was just telling Beyoncé about that the other day.

39 shares on YouTube this month:

As a student, the most comforting words you’ll ever hear are “I haven’t started either.”

45 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

On average, my daily actions demonstrate I’m probably good at something else.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Just rolled a joint. Not to get high or anything. It was just my ankle.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s hard dating someone who has been single for a long time. Any slight inconvenience, and they’ll crawl back into their peaceful abode. No stress.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Guns N’ Roses: “Welcome to the jungle!” The jungle: “No more humans, please!”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Nose so runny it just signed me up for a 10k.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s important to fuel your body with essential nutrients, which can be found in cookies, chips, and candy.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The show “How I Met Your Mother” was just a really long TED talk.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I may be ugly, but I used to be uglier.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulthood is basically just trying to fall asleep at night and stay awake during the day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

235 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,504

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,504

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,507

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

I hate when I turn off my brights for an incoming vehicle and then realize it’s a Cybertruck.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

I’ve decided that my 20s are actually from 25 – 35.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Does anyone know the password to my work computer? Or how to do my job?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

If I were an organ, I’d fail.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

I am woman, hear me roar but also meow because I am sensitive.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Your child learning to say mommy is when your life begins and ends.

Seen just now on Threads:

Anyone got any good sins for someone just getting into sinning?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Siblings are proof you can love someone and also dislike them at the same time.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’m so single, even my husband won’t match with me on Tinder.

Spotted on Reddit:

I make sure to post my political opinions after my selfies have gone viral to cull the herd.

Just landed via Instagram:

Signed an Executive Order that you have to give me a little forehead kiss.

Trending via Facebook:

They should invent someone who holds me.

Spotted on Facebook:

When I retire, I’m going to run for office.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The most attractive thing a man can do is hitting his own head and repeating “stupid, stupid, stupid”.

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