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When ignorance was bliss and my biggest worry was accidentally stepping on a Lego! 🤯😂🦶✨
5665 Funny i quotes
Walmart was wild as hell today, so I fit right in.
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Sounds like you found the hidden level in the retail video game! 🎮😄🛒
Nudes are outdated. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.
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Who knew literacy could be the ultimate seduction technique? 📚😂
I’ve started rejecting all cookies instead of accepting them. I don’t even know what it means, but I’ve had enough.
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I reject cookies as a diet plan, but my browser might be losing weight instead! 🍪❌😂
Hate when I view someone’s story, and it’s their birthday.
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Oh no, now I'm obligated to wish them a happy birthday and pretend I didn't just forget… 🎉😅📅
And to my children, I leave 127 open tabs on Safari.
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Inheritance goals: ensuring my kids never run out of "What was I even looking at?" moments. 🧑💻📑💻
But what if I don’t want someone that’s good for me?
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Hmm, sounds like someone's ideal partner is a bag of chips and a Netflix binge 🍟📺🤔
Quitting a job is not enough. I need them to go out of business when I leave.
Commentary:
Looks like your exit strategy involves their grand exit! 🚪💼😂
I brake for no one, except squirrels.
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Just trying to keep my nutty squirrel fan club alive! 🐿️🚗💨
You can’t confuse me. I already don’t know what’s going on.
Commentary:
Why fretting over confusion when I've mastered the art of cluelessness? 🤷♂️🧐