Commentary:
"Achieving spiritual enlightenment one shopping spree at a time! 🛍️🧘♂️😂"
1681 Funny irony quotes
It’s a good thing Titanic is only a movie. A lot of people would’ve died.
Commentary:
"Good point! 😅 Otherwise, iceberg lettuce would have a whole new meaning❄️🥗 #HistoryWithPlotTwists"
At the end of the day, the day is going to end.
Commentary:
"When you're trying to sound deep but just discovered how time works. 😅⏳ #DeepThoughts"
Whitening my teeth by getting a tan.
Commentary:
"Who needs whitening strips when you've got the sun on speed dial? 😎🌞 #TeethSoBrightICarryShades"
Weekends are a scam. You spend one day exhausted and the other anxious… like, what was that?
Commentary:
"Weekend: the ultimate prank where you think you're going to relax, but instead it's just a 48-hour existential crisis! 😂😴🤯"
Born to be quiet and mysterious, forced to yap whenever I get the chance.
Commentary:
"Living my best 'mystery novel with a broken spine' life! 📚🔍😆"
If sex was strictly meant for procreation, why did God make it feel so good?
Commentary:
"Guess it's God's way of saying, 'Have fun while you're at it!' 😂🌟🍑"
Zen and the Art of Empty Pockets.
Commentary:
"When your wallet's doing more meditating than you are! 😅💸🧘♂️"
One or the other, Lord – I can’t be broke and heartbroken.
Commentary:
"When life gives you lemons, apparently it also throws in a side of emotional baggage. 🍋😅💔"
To bed then. To bed with you! Guards, take him to my bed!
Commentary:
"Finally, a royal decree I can get behind… or rather, under the covers! 😂👑🛏️ #NobleNaps #RoyallyTuckedIn"