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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

I like my mornings to be slow and quiet. I want the day to romance me a bit before it tries to mess me up.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Listen to the birds, not the news.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Animals are so crazy because, why is your mom only one year older than you?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

If small talk burned calories, maybe I’d consider it.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m going crazy, y’all. Coming with me?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Mr. Mixed Signals decided he likes me today.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Babies invented being in a bad mood for no reason, and they continue to innovate in the field.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

You can never really “own” earbuds. You just have to appreciate the time you had together.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Welcome to your 40’s: oh you like surprises? here’s another chin. Surprise!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,662

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

The advantage of being an identical twin: you only need one gym contract.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Just once I’d like to hear a doctor say, “Your guess is as good as mine.”

Shared recently on Reddit:

Applying lip balm when you know someone’s watching you is a power move.

Live now on TikTok:

I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

Making waves on Messenger:

Cocktails can be tricky, because they taste like juice, but then the next thing you know… you can’t walk.

Seen just now on WeChat:

There is too much money in the world for me to be broke.

Making waves on WeChat:

My signature move is to tell men that I can’t hear them because I have my headphones in when I quite visibly don’t have headphones in.

Going viral on Facebook:

Sometimes I shower in the dark and pretend I’m in a rainforest on an alien planet.

Just shared via WeChat:

Twitter is where the broken, the used, the fighters, and the lovers gather to appreciate the twisted beauty in one another.

Just landed via TikTok:

Self-discipline is tough because I’m the boss of me, and that guy runs a real loose ship.

Funny life skills quotes

Funny life skills quotes bring a splash of humor 🎉 to everyday lessons we all need! From mastering the art of adulting 🧑‍🎓 to surviving awkward moments 😅, these witty gems make learning fun and relatable. Ready to laugh while leveling up your life game? Let’s dive into some clever and quirky wisdom that turns life’s challenges into smiles 😄✨!

New funny life skills quotes 👇

All funny life skills quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Pinterest this month:

I love my bodyguard. I would take a bullet for him.

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer.

99 shares on Messenger this month:

I’ve folded seven page corners of the book I’m reading. That’s 49 in dog ears.

34 shares on Discord this month:

Weight gain makes me sad. Luckily, eating cheers me right back up.

38 shares on X this month:

Sorry, I’m late. Time isn’t real, and I’m not convinced I am either.

33 shares on Slack this month:

I always imagined WWIII would be Earth vs. aliens.

35 shares on Discord this month:

Nobody rots in bed like I do.

15 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try.

42 shares on Facebook this month:

Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

49 shares on Discord this month:

At what age do people actually meet up to play bingo? I’m ready.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

When God created the giraffe, he probably slipped with the mouse on the screen. This is how its neck was created.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s strange being the same age as old people.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

No, I wasn’t dancing. I got harassed by a bumble bee.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to inflation and tariffs, my love now costs a thing.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I regret to inform you that we must all once again figure out what to make for dinner tonight.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Something very chic about crying while driving… have to keep it a little classy so you don’t crash… other drivers unaware a diva is down in the next lane over…

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Full-time employment will have you making lists of thoughts to think.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Making her wear those remote-controlled vibrating panties in public so I can inform her when I’m tired and want to leave the party.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is judge the only job where you can bang a little hammer to make people shut up? I’ve needed that in literally every job I’ve had.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,553

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Jesus turned water into wine. I turn food into fertilizer. We are not the same.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

The Welsh language was invented by a dad losing at Scrabble.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Might start a YouTube channel “will it hurt if I drop it on my foot”.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so make sure you tell bad people they’re bad.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

I always have a bad connection in my head when someone tries to explain a card or board game to me.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I’m bringing back “holy moly” and nobody can stop me.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Definitely thought I’d be solving mysteries and unmasking ghosts in a van with a dog by this point in my life.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Nothing humbles you faster than your phone slipping out of your hand and hitting your face.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

I just tried to groom my dog myself, and I now fully understand why the dog groomer charges more for a haircut than my own stylist.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

They should invent a day where it all works out.

Shared recently on Threads:

But if I get tinted windows, how will people see me flipping them off?

Seen just now on WeChat:

The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

Going viral on Twitch:

I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My anxiety is chronic, but my overthinking is iconic.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Look, 80’s kids went from Inspector Gadget to Terminator so we have a lot of mixed feelings about technology.

Trending via Facebook:

Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

If I were a mouse, I’d say things like “cheesed to meet you”.

Just shared via Twitch:

I think I could actually generate electricity with how irritated I get sometimes.

Spotted on Discord:

If you’re offended by bacon, the United States of America isn’t for you.

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