Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

To accommodate the size of my wife’s new water bottle, we’ve replaced the passenger seat of her car with a cupholder.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Not enough rap songs about stores suddenly changing their layout.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

No longer chasing dreams. If they want me, they know where I nap.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Me passing someone: you slow mule! Me being passed: okay, speed racer!

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

I’m either freezing, peeing, or starving.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

If she replies to your sarcasm with more sarcasm, that’s a whole life.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Tariff this, tariff that. When is somebody gonna tariff my clothes and kiss me?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

My entire life changed once I found out that a crush is just a lack of information.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Hair is washed. I am finally lovable and capable of loving again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,483

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.

Just shared via WeChat:

They say “Time heals.” No, it doesn’t. I’m still mad.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Sparkling water tastes like that feeling when your foot falls asleep.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Aliens probably lock their doors when they fly past Earth.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Sorry for widening my eyes and whispering “The prophecy” when we first met.

Just shared via Reddit:

There’s no reason my stomach should be growling, I just gave it some iced coffee.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Everyone hates on the dentist but at least they don’t try to weigh you.

Shared recently on YouTube:

The main function of the little toe on your foot is to make sure that all the objects and furniture in the house are in the correct place.

Seen just now on X:

Clearly I’m not doing Dry January unless you mean sense of humor.

Funny memoir quotes

Funny memoir quotes bring a splash of humor to life’s wildest moments 😂✨ They turn everyday chaos into laugh-out-loud stories that everyone can relate to 📚🤣 Whether from quirky family tales or embarrassing adventures, these gems remind us that laughter truly is the best memoir medicine 🎉😄 Ready to brighten your day with some witty wisdom? Let’s dive into the funniest reflections life has to offer! 🎈📖

New funny memoir quotes 👇

All funny memoir quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Facebook this month:

Nurse: “This may hurt.” Me: “My life hasn’t been much fun either.”

62 shares on Reddit this month:

I’ve watched porn with better writing than Stranger Things.

68 shares on Reddit this month:

Rule #1 for family reunions: Always bring your own car so you can take off whenever you want.

33 shares on Facebook this month:

Stupid cow blocking the road. HOW DAIRY!

41 shares on X this month:

Buying something nice for myself, cuz today would’ve been my birthday if I was born today.

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

Whoever said “out of sight out of mind” never lost a spider in the bedroom.

89 shares on Reddit this month:

The sexiest thing a man can do is have a problem-solving mentality.

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Time machine? You mean a clock?

17 shares on Twitch this month:

This weekend was so busy, I hardly had time to sit around in my pajamas and doom scroll.

19 shares on Pinterest this month:

If I ever go missing, please print my picture on wine bottles and not on milk boxes. My friends are more likely to find me then.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The inventor of autocorrect walked into a bar and ordered a bear.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My four moods: I’m too old for doing that. I’m too tired for doing that. I’m too sober for doing that. I don’t have time for doing that.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Guy who normally applauds when the plane lands right before the pilot crashes it: “Boo!”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If it’s a ghost ship, why does it have to be on water?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The sun really clocks out for the day before I do. That’s insane.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If you need me, I will be at the library sniffing old books.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I support Bluesky in theory, but in practice, it’s like a JRPG with no bad guys.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I love it when my dog suddenly gets up and goes to another part of the house. Did you just remember you left the stove on or something?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,303

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

The only thing Flat Earthers have to fear is sphere itself.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely fulfilled the prophecy.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Sorry I didn’t get you an anniversary card, babe, but you opted in to paperless affection on our third date.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

The modern condition is mostly trying to do things on your own that people have historically achieved with a large support network, and wondering why you’re tired all the time.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Christmas is the season of giving, and I’m giving up for good.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

The sexual tension between my tendency to do something stupid and my resolve not to.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Oh, you like NYC? Name every rat.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Years of personal growth can be unraveled in 2 days at your parents’ house.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

I need to have a ginger ale about this.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

Lingerie under a trench coat is still on my bucket list, by the way.

Shared recently on Discord:

Little kid on the plane to Boston says “do they speak English there?” and his mom says “kinda!”

Just shared via Slack:

It’s important to follow your significant other around the grocery store, not helping, and only hovering like the specter of death.

Live now on Pinterest:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need a special occasion to buy a cake.

Live now on Slack:

The only thing I worry about when I’m in the restroom is if people are washing their hands or not.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

The rumors of my will to live have been greatly exaggerated.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Everything is dishwasher safe if you don’t care enough about it.

Trending via TikTok:

The one nice thing about your friends’ divorces is no one invites you to them.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Of course I stay hydrated. Carbohydrated.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Why steal office supplies from work when you could take an extra-long bathroom break and steal company time instead?

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