Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

I hate it when I’m gossiping at work and a customer wants to be served. How rude is that?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

The male urge to tell you what business used to be located there back in his day.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

To whoever has my voodoo doll, please stop making her go to work.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

I don’t know why we traded horses for cars. Your car won’t stop in front of a river and be like, “no way dumbass, we aren’t going to make that.”

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

I miss when you could touch a TV and feel its fur.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I want them to get lice.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

It’s comical when I lean back in my chair only to realize it’s a stool.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Robert De Niro always looks like he just smelled a nasty fart.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

I just need my friends to know I would do absolutely anything for them, except reply to their message.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,423

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

Shared recently on Instagram:

Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Oh, I shouldn’t worry? Why didn’t I think of that?

Live now on Facebook:

“I’m getting to an age where I realize I shouldn’t have laughed at my grandparents for having an ‘upstairs’ vacuum.”

Going bananas on Pinterest:

My husband loves when we fight, and I turn it into a limited series called And Another Thing.

Just landed via Telegram:

Kind of miraculous how much love can be summoned and how much your day can be improved by just looking at an animal and saying stuff in a weird voice.

Seen just now on Threads:

Do you remember when you looked through binoculars upside down and everyone was really far away? That was nice.

Trending via Facebook:

The longer you go without something, the more comfortable you become without it. That goes for people, too.

Going bananas on Reddit:

When I’m president, everyone who listens to techno, house or rap will be allowed to drive a little faster than others.

Trending via Slack:

If you’re doing Dry January, please, please, keep it to yourself. Nobody cares, and you’re probably even more boring without alcohol.

Funny Metallica quotes

Funny Metallica quotes 🤘 bring the perfect mix of headbanging humor and rockstar wit! Whether you’re a die-hard fan or just love a good laugh 🤣, these gems capture the band’s legendary attitude with a playful twist. Get ready to rock out and smile wide because Metallica’s not just metal—they’re seriously funny too! 🎸🔥

New funny Metallica quotes 👇

All funny Metallica quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Discord this month:

It’s so beautiful when two real perverts find each other.

35 shares on TikTok this month:

89% of the time when my husband tells me I look great, what he really means is, “We needed to leave five minutes ago.”

39 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m not gonna have a bad day. The day is gonna have a bad me.

70 shares on Instagram this month:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

17 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t need a maid. I just need someone to tell me once a week that they’re coming to visit, and I’ll panic-clean my entire house in less than an hour.

75 shares on Discord this month:

Objection your honor, if the prosecutor doesn’t have anything nice to say then he shouldn’t say anything at all.

43 shares on Threads this month:

For International Women’s Day, I’m going to celebrate by hitting every curb I see.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

Them: I haven’t seen you in a long time. Me: You’re welcome.

64 shares on Slack this month:

Called in, “I put the lime in the coconut and drank it all up.”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls who leave clothing reviews with their height, weight, and size ordered are going to heaven.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I no longer dislike Mondays, I’m mature now… I dislike the whole week.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s funny how quickly you become difficult if you don’t always just say “yes”.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Popping your head in the cockpit and saying, “Anywhere here will do, chief.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Nowadays, people no longer look for a needle in a haystack, but for errors in a spreadsheet.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a rest for the wicked.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

TV lead me to believe grave digging would be a lot easier.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,610

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Are you there, bathroom walls, ceiling, floor, mirror, sink, and towels? It’s me, the kids toothpaste.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Lazy Rule: Can’t reach it, don’t need it.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

You could waterboard pretty much any embarrassing information out of me. I’m very waterboardable.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Too many losers and not enough people telling them they’re losers.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

I’m the only person breathing through my nose at this Walmart.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

If you want to sell something to a woman, show her other women using it. If you want to sell something to a man, prove to him no other man has it.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Tornados are just a bunch of ghosts fighting over a cow.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Maximizing rent value by turning ‘homebody’ into an Olympic sport!

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

I think I’ma end the year with a plot twist, everyone hold on tight.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Instagram:

The devil couldn’t reach me so he made sure my love life was bullshit.

Trending via Messenger:

Shopping is the only exercise I need.

Just shared via WeChat:

Airlines when they need to change your flight: here’s a complimentary napkin. Airlines when you need to change your flight: that’ll be $8700.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just here unloading my dishwasher.

Going bananas on Slack:

This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Julia Garner most confusing name because it calls to mind both Julia Roberts and Jennifer Garner, but she is neither.

Spotted on WeChat:

If love is the answer then what was the question?

Live now on Pinterest:

When you see a squirrel, you’re bound to say, “Awww, a squirrel!”

Live now on Facebook:

I haven’t broken a mirror lately, but my water broke and I’ve had seven years of kids crawling into my bed.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Bag of salad is the boxed wine of vegetables.

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