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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

I SAID YES!!!!!! after I asked myself if I wanted a breakfast burrito.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

My husband thinks he can just order me around like he’s one of the cats.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

If you think one of my posts is about you, it isn’t. Except this one.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Aging gracefully is like getting steamrolled gracefully, you should really be screaming.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

“Santa isn’t real!” Okay, I literally just saw him at the mall.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

I just agree with people so that they stop talking.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Some people don’t have a permanent handwriting. It depends on their mood and the pen they use.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Don’t you hate it when you buy veggies and when you get them home you realize they’re donuts?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

Updated

25 minutes ago

Users Online

3,421

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.

Making waves on Instagram:

I hope your day is as nice as my ass.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Still don’t understand how girls with no jobs be holding iPhones.

Spotted on Telegram:

My life plans are fading like Marty McFly’s family photo.

Spotted on TikTok:

Do other people remember toasters with wings flying across our computer screens or was that a fever dream I just had?

Spotted on Slack:

Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

November moving quicker than two lesbians who met three days ago.

Reported on Pinterest:

You know you’re over 40 when you clean your house to the music you used to get drunk to.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

All I’m saying is that at first I am shy and then I become a podcast.

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Funny missing out quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

Updated

25 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

The day they handed out patience, I left because it was taking too long.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Grocery shopping while hungry feels like online shopping while drunk.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Imagine you’re on jury duty and the courtroom sketch artist draws stink lines above you.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Don’t let anyone ruin your day. Be a man. Ruin it yourself.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

I need to stop drinking so much. Did I say drinking? I meant thinking. I definitely need to drink more.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

You can tell you’re getting old when the barber spends less time on the top of your head and more time on your ears.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

I know it’s traditional to start work at 9, but I think we could lower that age to 8.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I wonder how much this “Never mind, it’s only 10 bucks” has already cost me?

Just landed via TikTok:

I hope this email finds you in a well.

Reported on YouTube:

Half princess, half menace.

Freshly posted on X:

I’m intermittent fasting, so I have to finish this cake really quick before 6 pm.

Going viral on Reddit:

No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

Reported on Discord:

My son put his dish in the sink so I rushed him to urgent care.

Just landed via Facebook:

I need a six-month vacation twice a year.

Making waves on Reddit:

I’m currently trying not to read anything about carbohydrates after 4pm.

Just landed via Slack:

We’re limited only by our imagination and some federal agencies.

Just shared via Slack:

Do beavers even know what they’re doing, or do they just see water flowing down a river and think, “Absolutely not”?

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