Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Morning me just stripped the bedding. Evening me is going to be pissed.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

I shaved my legs today and it was the fastest 3lbs I’ve ever lost in my life.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

My body is a temple. An ancient, creaky temple with questionable plumbing.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

I hear the responses my young siblings give my mom, and I’m speechless; they don’t know the commando she was in her prime.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

When old people say, “Long as you happy,” that means you’re pretty dumb.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 50s: You’re not attracted to anyone who likes you.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Adulting: unlocking life’s mysteries, one therapy session at a time.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

More candlelight, less gaslight, babe.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Calling ahead to the cafe to warn them to “get those beans brewing”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,571

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

A storm knows it’s laced with destruction, and yet it rages on.

Shared recently on Reddit:

It’s like 10,000 yawns when all you need is a nap.

Shared recently on YouTube:

When someone says they’re never going to talk to me again, I do the right thing and say thank you.

Breaking via WeChat:

My brain cells, skin cells and hair cells continue to die, but my fat cells seem to have an eternal life.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Starting drama with me the week before my period is an absolutely terrible idea – for you.

Going viral on Messenger:

Welcome to your 40s, you now respond to every younger person telling you their age with “Jesus Christ”.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I need a horror movie where a kidnapper abducts a possessed child and finds out.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I have a condition that prevents me from dieting. It’s called being hungry.

Going viral on Pinterest:

It’s so much easier to suggest solutions when you don’t know too much about the problem.

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New funny nails quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on WeChat this month:

I may have bags under my eyes, but they’re Versace.

13 shares on X this month:

My Uber driver didn’t try to talk to me the entire ride. Five stars.

11 shares on Facebook this month:

Can’t argue with a guy that has curly hair. Whatever you say, gorgeous.

41 shares on Instagram this month:

Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.

14 shares on Instagram this month:

Done with work today. The work day isn’t over, I’m just done with it.

40 shares on Instagram this month:

I was actually doing so well until your email found me.

61 shares on Instagram this month:

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

82 shares on Messenger this month:

I want to sit and read, take a nap, and snack. Basically, I want to be in kindergarten.

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

I do believe in aliens, but do they also believe in me?

88 shares on WeChat this month:

There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been commissioned to kiss you on the lips. I need to get this done by tonight.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Confuse a restaurant manager today by telling her how good the service was.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Going to the gym to exercise my demons.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m beginning to think that for some of you, the wheels on the bus do not go round and round.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Any porn site that allows comments is instantly funny because, like, why is that there.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Have I made bad decisions when I was drunk? Sure. But have the sober ones been any better? Not really.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If I was in Jaws, instead of wishing for a bigger boat, I probably would have just asked for a smaller shark.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend clearly has never met shredded cheese.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I could never abuse substances, they mean a lot to me.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If I was a weather man, I’d leak the weather early to pretty women.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,399

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Made it to Friday, but at what cost? Monday is literally in 20 minutes.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

There is a special place reserved in hell for website designers who disable cut and paste in password fields.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Remember when you could lay in one position for hours, now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

I love my new crockpot. Now we can wait longer to eat my horrible cooking.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Age ceases to be just a number everytime the airline announces seating queue priority.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

Toast doesn’t talk. How do you know it’s French?

Spotted on WeChat:

Love when job applications ask for my desired salary so I can choose between not being hired and being exploited for my work.

Spotted on Instagram:

Some people are so fake, their lock screens don’t recognize them.

Seen just now on YouTube:

You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks, I had lunch yesterday.”

Going viral on Instagram:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you’re an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Did you ever buy a pack of underwear, take them out, and think, wow, these are huge… then try them on, and they fit perfectly?

Seen just now on Threads:

Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

Breaking via Snapchat:

No, I am not refreshed from my long weekend. I was reminded that I am not meant to work, but I am trapped in The Machine.

Spotted on Slack:

As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

Just landed via Telegram:

A dating app that matches people by the conspiracy theories they are interested in.

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