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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Glasses don’t make you look smart, everyone knows you had to fail a test to get them.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

No one is more hated than those two people who start a standing ovation.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Give us this day our daily internet validation.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Don’t you hate it when you offer help and the other person says yes?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Work again? Really? Didn’t I just do that yesterday?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

30 minutes ago

Users Online

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

He probably could have just called himself “Andre.” I think I would have figured out The Giant part on my own.

Live now on X:

Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Ancestors survived five mass extinctions on earth for me to be killed by a house cat I was trying to put a Christmas sweater on.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I just sneezed my wife awake from a nap so any discussion about renewing vows is on hold for a bit.

Spotted on Messenger:

Grant me the supernatural ability to change the things I cannot accept.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Being old is basically trying to figure out what part of the body the noise is coming from, and why.

Breaking via Telegram:

Weekends are a scam. You spend one day exhausted and the other anxious… like, what was that?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

It’s weird when you realize that what you thought was rock bottom was actually somewhere around rock middle.

Just landed via TikTok:

A penguin is a bird the way a hot dog is a sandwich.

Just shared via Slack:

They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

30 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

First date idea: you rescue me out of the tree I got stuck in while looking through your windows.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Living your life to the fullest does not have to involve selfies with bison.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Fog. When nature is too lazy to load the complete environment.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Your password must contain a character… with a tragic backstory.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

There must be an invisible mechanism on my book. Every time I open it, my husband starts trying to talk to me.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

I’m starting to think that the secret to having a happy life is avoiding people.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Every time you give someone the benefit, they deliver the doubt.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Twitch:

Gatekeeping how insanely handsome I am by looking like total shit all the time.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Pirate: walks the plank. Someone’s dad: Is this teak?

Just shared via Twitch:

Welcome to your 40’s: it’s ten years of people saying “wait until you’re 50”.

Making waves on Slack:

I voted for the candidate on the last yard sign I saw before pulling in. Slow children at play will lead us into the future.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Don’t be fooled by what your kids will eat at someone else’s house.

Trending via Discord:

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

Reported on YouTube:

In contrast to the ship, the movie Titanic was quite well received in America.

Trending via Snapchat:

Just told my kids it’s illegal to have the light on while we’re driving. I will not break this cycle.

Going viral on TikTok:

My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.

Live now on Instagram:

My bed wasn’t feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home to take care of it.

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