Commentary:
Mastering the ancient art of app surfing, one tap at a time.
641 Funny procrastination quotes
Sorry, I can’t come. I’m watching Lord of the Rings and contributing to the declining birth rate.
Commentary:
Balancing epic adventures and solo movie nights—saving Middle-earth and dodging the population crisis one marathon at a time!
First in my bloodline to scroll Twitter for hours.
Commentary:
Breaking family records one tweet at a time!
Naps hit different when you’re using them to avoid being alive.
Commentary:
When your spirit animal is a hibernating bear 😂😴🐻
I would do anything for a job, except write a cover letter.
Commentary:
"I'm ready to wrestle a bear for a job, but don't ask me to write a cover letter 🐻✍️🚫"
Staring at your phone is a great way to miss a few years of your life.
Commentary:
Time flies when you're having fun… or when you're deep into your 8th "dog riding skateboard" video 😂📱🐕🛹
The people who “don’t have time” and the people who “always find time” have the same amount of time.
Commentary:
Time travelers and procrastinators unite! We've all got the same 24 hours, just some choose to spend them counting ceiling tiles. ⏰😅
I’m not lazy, I’m just highly selective about what I suffer for.
Commentary:
Suffering is out, selective relaxation is in! 😎🛋️✨
This email could’ve been sex.
Commentary:
Guess we need a new category: NSFW (Not Suitable For Waiting 🤪📧💌)
I like to notice patterns and do nothing about it.
Commentary:
Spotting patterns like a pro, taking action like a statue! 🕵️♂️🤷♂️🗿