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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

I’m a kid at heart and a senior citizen at my knees and back.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Better to be an overthinker than an overdrinker.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Don’t invite me places. I was cesarean. I didn’t want to come out then and I certainly don’t want to now.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

It’s weird how horses can run so fast but still suck at every other sport.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Eating the rest of the donuts will keep me from eating donuts tomorrow. My logic is flawless.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

When a woman texts you three questions, you should only answer one. She will love that.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

There is no bigger day for microwaves than the 26th day of December. This is their Olympics.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

I get it, funds… I, too, am insufficient.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

I’ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,577

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.

Just landed via X:

I put the “pro” in procrastinate.

Going viral on Discord:

Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Whales go days, sometimes weeks at a time without giving anyone their opinion.

Seen just now on X:

Someone tongue kissed me recently in a way I can only describe as 5th base.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I don’t understand why banks get so mad when you can’t pay back your loan. You already knew I had no money when I came to borrow it.

Making waves on Reddit:

Studies show that 100% of all parents think alcohol tastes much better after spending the day with children.

Trending via Facebook:

Self-care is putting your face on a very soft cat.

Making waves on X:

Forget hot girl summer, it’s rot girl summer (laying in bed, reading books, laying under layers of soft blankets).

Freshly posted on X:

Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

Funny proper quotes

Funny proper quotes bring a perfect blend of wit and wisdom that’ll make you smile 😄 while sounding oh-so-smart 📚. They’re like a clever wink 😉 wrapped in polished words, ready to brighten your day or spice up your captions ✨. Whether you need a quick laugh or a classy comeback, these gems have got you covered! Ready to laugh and learn at the same time? Let’s dive in! 🎉📖

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All funny proper quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

She wanted me to impress her in the bedroom, so I showed her my organized sock drawer and my fresh matching bedding.

18 shares on Instagram this month:

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

88 shares on TikTok this month:

Instead of saying “Good morning,” my wife and I go straight into explanations of how badly we each slept.

76 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If reports from this daisy are accurate, she loves me not.

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You gotta be careful: don’t say a word to nobody about nothing anytime ever.

13 shares on Pinterest this month:

Hang in there, it gets worse.

97 shares on Instagram this month:

Banks should have a gold bar that you can go in and touch when you feel poor.

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

16 shares on Messenger this month:

I hate it when I’m gossiping at work and a customer wants to be served. How rude is that?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember that your face is literally a combination of hundreds of generations of people who fell in love!

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The real flex is how many wounds you can turn into wisdom.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Fasted for 72 hours and gained the ability to whisper to bats.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t boss me around. You’re not my bladder.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok.” Well, I just made some shit up, and people believe me because I’m well read and use big words.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say “dingoes”.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I can resist everything except temptation.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I think something is so beautifully wrong with you.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate texting someone something freaky at night, and they reply in the morning like it’s still the vibe. Shut up. The sun’s out. I’m pure again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,332

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Once I get my UFO, don’t be asking me for rides.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Women’s skincare is so confusing. Am I supposed to look shiny and sweaty, or matte like cement?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Women watch Netflix with subtitles because they don’t know how to listen.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Who needs dystopian fiction when you can watch the news?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

I’m one of those lucky people that can eat whatever they want and not put on any clothes.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Welcome to Netflix. We have everything but what you want to watch.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

My love language is being sent money.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Toddlers are like puppies, they don’t care if they’re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

The biggest first-world problem is having your favorite makeup product be discontinued.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Humans are just chaos wrapped in meat, going bananas on caffeine.

Trending via Telegram:

Bok Choy is a dope name for a vegetable.

Seen just now on Threads:

One thing nobody gives pigeons enough credit for is their ability to get out of the way on the sidewalk. A lot of you could learn a thing or two from them.

Trending via Slack:

Hawk o the mornin tuah

Spotted on Slack:

Putting a baby on board sticker on my car because other drivers have a right to know who they’re dealing with behind the wheel.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Love is in the air fryer.

Live now on X:

I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!

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