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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Saw a guy reading a book and writing notes in it. Not enough words in there for ya, bud?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

I hate Valentine’s Day but I do enjoy infant archery.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Whoever was the first to shorten “Richard” down to “Dick” must have really hated that guy.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Maybe if we sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

If I ever experience an earthquake, my first thought will probably be it’s Godzilla.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

She’s a 10, but she says ‘Orwellian’ when it’s clearly ‘Kafkaesque”.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Bro, are you a black hole, because you suck energy and light?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Very confusing that gross pay is before tax. I always find the number way grosser after tax.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

47 minutes ago

Users Online

3,423

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Texting my boss from the job I got laid off from 5 months ago and telling him I have diarrhea.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

My only plan for this weekend is to move just enough so the people don’t think I’m dead.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Dear food, either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat.

Making waves on Facebook:

I have absolutely no desire to stay in the loop.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

British people be like “It’s Chewsday, innit?”

Seen just now on Discord:

I am the proud father of two content providers. I mean children. Two children.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Of all her outfits, my shirt and no underwear will always be my favorite.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

If you take a social media sabbatical, don’t announce it. Just make your last post something fun like “I wonder if there’s a bear in this cave?”

Just shared via Facebook:

Old people be like “no elbows on the table, it’s rude” then say something racist.

Just landed via Facebook:

You ever get road rage while walking behind someone moving slowly at the grocery store?

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

47 minutes ago

Users Online

3,430

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I love when dudes are named Guy. Like, yeah. Exactly.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

That awkward moment when you have to pretend that you like the gift.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

No camera can do justice to a landscape that melts your heart.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Once married, the woman takes over the entire closet and the man stores everything he owns in his left cargo pocket.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Helpful police officer reminded me he’s the one asking the questions.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Drinking through a straw is the opposite of snorkeling.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

I need to eat healthier but donuts exist.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

I can’t take people who pronounce “gnocchi” correctly seriously.

Making waves on Threads:

Even worse than a spider is a spider that just disappeared.

Just landed via Slack:

I’m only dead on the outside.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I like to swear a lot so that people will keep their kids away from me.

Trending via Messenger:

When waiting for a flight, there’s always one guy at the gate that makes you think, “As long as I’m not sitting next to him, I’ll be fine.”

Broadcasted on Slack:

Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

Spotted on Facebook:

Men, it’s really simple. We want everything, but nothing, at the same time or different times, sometimes but not always.

Spotted on Snapchat:

“And on the 7th day he rested”. Obviously God had not yet created laundry at that point.

Live now on TikTok:

Being a goldfish must be brilliant. Every six seconds you’re pleasantly surprised to find that you live in a castle.

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