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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Why a bug would spend such a long fraction of its short life immobile on my ceiling beats me.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Women know the exact weight of their children and their age in days. Men just know that little people live with them.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

If you have a Roomba, but don’t dress it up in little outfits, then what are you even doing?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Nearly choked on a carrot. A donut would never do that to me.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Back to work after the long holiday weekend, so you’re finally away from the relatives you don’t like, and back with the co-workers you don’t like.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Dating now is basically choosing which red flag you’re willing to tolerate.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

By my second “could we change the subject?” I could feel the job interview going south.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

If I could do it all over again, I would ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Those astronauts that just landed? They should be greeted by chimpanzees on horses.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

824 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,986

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,986

Updated

18 minutes ago

Users Online

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

Cleaning your glasses is like changing from 360p to 1080p.

Shared recently on Instagram:

You don’t scare me. You’re not the evil eye I get from my dog when I make him get up from the couch so I can lay down.

Going viral on X:

Nice to finally get back that hour they stole earlier this year.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I will be posting telepathically on all social media today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

Spotted on WeChat:

I’m bored, but not “read a book for fun” bored.

Going viral on Threads:

Booked an escape room but just to get away from everyone. No plans of escaping.

Going viral on Discord:

You cannot hurt me. You are not a hip-height table corner.

Live now on WeChat:

You can put refrigerator magnets on your car, too. There are no rules.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

It must be hard having an erectile dysfunction.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

824 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,986

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,986

Updated

18 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

My nickname in high school was “who?”

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

I’m so vulnerable to nostalgia. The sun will go down and I’ll be like: “Wow… remember when the sun was up… I miss who I was then”

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

I like my men like I like my coffee, secretly alcoholic.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Bored as hell. Anyone want to emotionally manipulate each other?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore I think. Therefore I am. I think.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

I ordered mushrooms on my pizza. When do they kick in?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Might go to prison so I can focus on the gym properly.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

The man who invented autocorrect walks into a barn. He orders a bear.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I want a small, tasteful wedding. No family. No friends. No groom. Just me eating a big cake.

Reported on Instagram:

Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

Live now on Slack:

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

Just landed via TikTok:

I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

Reported on Facebook:

Been whispering “I like invented her” about my newborn every few hours.

Just shared via WeChat:

Weddings should have a worst man.

Making waves on YouTube:

Earth is hard.

Reported on Facebook:

Crying at my desk while also finding time to cry in the shower makes for a healthy work-life balance.

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