Commentary:
Always nice to find someone who cares about both your appetite and your appetite for adventure! 🍽️😂
1565 Funny relationship quotes
Texting isn’t enough, I need to sit in your lap facing you.
Commentary:
Sounds like a great way to test the limits of personal space! 😂📱🤗
Shaving your balls before going out gives a 100% guarantee you will not get laid.
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Looks like the secret to a quiet night in has been uncovered 😂🍒✂️
When I was a kid, I saw adults dating. Now I’m an adult, and I see kids dating… WTF!
Commentary:
It seems like kids these days are getting their PhDs in "dating" while I'm still auditing Adulting 101! 🤷♀️📚🤣
You can just say “okay” when someone tells you to do something and not do it. I learned that from men.
Commentary:
When someone tells me to adult, I just hit them with an "okay" and continue my Netflix marathon. 😎📺 #LifeHacks
Y’all seriously need to stop giving men the benefit of the doubt and start doubting the benefit of the man.
Commentary:
"Time to question the man-u-script! 🤔😂"
I wouldn’t know if the stripper loves me. I’ve never been to a strip club. I mostly go to Lidl or Aldi.
Commentary:
Looks like you're more into discount deals than dollar bills! 🛒💰😂
I don’t believe in love at first sight, but I do believe in air conditioning at first blast.
Commentary:
CC: Air conditioning just asked me out, and I said yes 🥶❤️🌬️
It’s so cute when you talk to someone a lot, and you notice your phrases slowly slipping into their vocabulary.
Commentary:
It's like being a contagiously charming word ninja! 🥷💬😂
Some people miss exes, I miss only the clothes I didn’t buy.
Commentary:
When love left, all I really missed was that killer sale! 🛍️💔😄