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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Tired of looking at a bad screen. Can’t wait to get home and look at a good screen.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

After a month away and enough pasta to scare an Italian grandma, I can confirm: too much Parmesan? Never heard of her.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

The best plans on a Friday night are no plans.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I want this laziness removed from my body.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

This going into the office stuff blows. Like, I seriously have to wear clothes now.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

I think my boss is delusional; he keeps shaking his head and calls me Jesus Christ.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

My four moods: I’m too old for doing that. I’m too tired for doing that. I’m too sober for doing that. I don’t have time for doing that.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

It’s pretty apt that the ‘i’ is in the middle of ‘hurricane’.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,421

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

I’ve been having a rough day for about 5 years now.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

Trending via Slack:

There’s nothing that I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Trending via Twitch:

What part of “hiii” do you not get? I’m in love with you.

Breaking via YouTube:

If pills are too toxic to flush down the toilet, you probably shouldn’t swallow them.

Freshly posted on X:

Date idea: you tell me every thought you’ve ever had about me.

Spotted on Messenger:

Being a goldfish must be brilliant. Every six seconds you’re pleasantly surprised to find that you live in a castle.

Trending via X:

At first I’m shy, then I’m a podcast.

Seen just now on Reddit:

“Do something with your life.” Um, I am. Have you heard of a little thing called squandering?

Going viral on Instagram:

Leaving out milk and cookies for Santa is literally making an offering to a deity.

Funny reservations quotes

Funny reservations quotes bring a hilarious twist to booking tables, hotels, or events 🍽️🏨😂 Whether you’re tired of waiting or just love a good pun, these witty lines will make your next reservation way more entertaining 🎉📅 Ready to laugh through the wait? Let’s dive into some chuckle-worthy moments that turn ordinary bookings into unforgettable fun! 😄✨

New funny reservations quotes 👇

All funny reservations quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Threads this month:

Why do chefs always have to cut everything so fast? It’s just an onion man, why don’t you relax?

52 shares on Pinterest this month:

Trying to explain to my cat why she can’t jump off the balcony, even though I want to as well.

67 shares on Threads this month:

When my friends and I talk about sex, it’s never sexual. It feels scientific, almost.

84 shares on Reddit this month:

Women are obsessed with Love Island, but when me and my boys do it in real life, we’re disgusting cheating dogs?

60 shares on YouTube this month:

Even in my early 20’s, I was diagnosed with late stage 40’s.

78 shares on Messenger this month:

Today I went for a walk with a girl, she noticed me, so we went for a run.

74 shares on Slack this month:

In my culture, family is completely unimportant. And we hate food.

48 shares on Telegram this month:

All we needed to be happy in the 90s was music and cigarettes.

56 shares on WeChat this month:

I want a president who promises no jobs. I don’t want to have a job.

33 shares on YouTube this month:

I hate hotel bath towels. So thick and fluffy, I can’t even close my suitcase.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Talking to the stars because people suck.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

90% of the ocean is unexplored, which means there could be a McDonald’s down there.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m glad I have boobs. The last thing I need is people making eye contact with me.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re an atheist? Well, I don’t believe you. See how you like it.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My boyfriend is mad at me because I keep replying with a fire extinguisher emoji to every girl that comments with a flame emoji on his pictures.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I have nothing in common with people who “forget to eat”.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The meteorologist who devised the wind chill factor has died. He was 86, but he felt like 75.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I admire how time manages to quickly heal wounds but takes forever to remove awkward tan lines.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting the house to yourself for a night is basically winning the lottery.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,261

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Blink if you want me!

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

My life plans are fading like Marty McFly’s family photo.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Not my circus, but I’ve grown quite fond of its monkeys.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you’re full of energy and you can’t wait to get to work? Me neither!

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Practicing how I’m gonna explain to the aliens that baseline and Vaseline do not sound the same.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

My guardian angel is probably preoccupied with sports betting apps and generative AI, that’s why she’s letting all these bad things happen to me.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

I hate commas. It’s not my job to tell you when you breathe. Work it out, you’re a grown adult.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

The History Channel, because where else are you going to learn about how aliens were instrumental in the development of humanity?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

That awkward moment you can’t understand what somebody is saying after they have repeated it about five times.

Spotted on Telegram:

I miss being able to study with complete focus for hours. Now I read one sentence and check my phone to see if penguins have legs or just feet.

Just landed via X:

I wish I could invoice people for wasting my time.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

The question is, what will kill humanity this century? Artificial intelligence or natural stupidity?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

We don’t get a song of the summer this year because we were bad.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

My spirit animal is chasing his own tail.

Seen just now on X:

How do I get my glasses prescription placed in my windshield?

Seen just now on YouTube:

For Christmas, I’d like to figure it all out.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

When someone loses something, I like to ask helpful questions like ‘Where did you last see it?’ and ‘Where did you put it?’ and ‘Where is it?’

Just shared via Twitch:

I always do my best sleeping in the 10 minutes before my alarm goes off.

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