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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from has downloaded:

For Halloween I will go to the beach dressed as a french fry and let the seagulls destroy me.

Someone from has copied:

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

Someone from has viewed:

How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?

Someone from has shared:

Since I tolerate gluten and lactose well, I can afford a few intolerances in the interpersonal area.

Someone from has downloaded:

Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

Someone from has copied:

I have the body of a god. Sadly, it’s Buddha after brunch.

Someone from has downloaded:

Can’t. Too busy saving daylight.

Someone from has viewed:

Yes, I know there is a really special place in hell for me. It’s called a throne.

Someone from has viewed:

My favorite part of parenting is being exhausted all the time and losing the will to live.

Someone from has viewed:

I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I’m gonna need everybody to stop living here.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2265 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,427

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,427

Updated

1 hour ago

Users Online

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it’s like a present from me to me.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Thinking of telling my extra weight that I love it so that it can leave me too.

Making waves on Threads:

The real body count is how many people are in therapy because of you.

Just landed via Threads:

I didn’t like my beard at first… then it grew on me.

Trending via TikTok:

Voice messages. Just call, goddamnit!

Shared recently on WeChat:

And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

Shared recently on Discord:

Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?

Spotted on YouTube:

Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Introverts be like “I know a place”, then go home.

Reported on Threads:

I know everything is expensive right now, but just remember correcting people’s grammar online is still free.

Home » Funny Resurrection Quotes

Funny resurrection quotes

Funny resurrection quotes bring a hilarious twist to the idea of coming back to life 🧟‍♂️✨ Whether you’re in need of a good laugh or some lighthearted inspiration, these witty sayings will have you chuckling like a zombie at a coffee shop ☕😂 Get ready to revive your mood with humor that’s truly alive and kicking! 🎉🕺

New funny resurrection quotes 👇

4 months ago
Share →: If they can bring back the dire wolf, they can bring back Norm Macdonald.

Commentary:
"Who knew the dire wolf was more likely to make a comeback than Norm Macdonald 😂🐺 Let's hope the world is ready for the return of both legends! #BringBackNormMacdonald"
6 months ago
Share →: Jesus rose from the grave because he forgot to clear his browser history.

Commentary:
"Looks like even the Son of God can't escape the embarrassment of his browsing habits! 😅💻🙈 No wonder he needed a miracle to rise again! #ClearYourHistoryJesus"
Jan 21, 2025
Share →: Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

Commentary:
"When in a tough spot, channel your inner Jesus 🙏 Just remember, resurrection isn't an everyday skill for most of us 😂🕊️ #WWJD #DisappearingAct"