Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

I have a drawer in my kitchen that I can’t open anymore because of that one time I decided to put a spatula in it.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I love saying “why would I lie” when I’m lying.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

God: “I used to work in mysterious ways but now I’m unemployed.”

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Before you call me an idiot consider this: I know!

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Cops wake up Christmas morning excited as hell to ignore their family and go sit on the highway with a radar gun for 10 hours.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

I’m starting to think the voice in my head doesn’t like me very much.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Having a toddler is wild. I’m getting breaking news about Peppa Pig.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

My favorite date activity is ice skating because I’m really good at it, and it allows me to assert dominance on the ice.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a tweet or a close friends story.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,705

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

I love how spring sprung and then disappeared again.

Going viral on Reddit:

My daughter’s morning alarm is less to wake her up, and more to warn the rest of us.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

Going viral on Messenger:

The thing I can’t get over about Love Island is they’re only allowed 2 drinks a night, like they’re all just acting like that.

Making waves on Reddit:

Life hack: If you never leave the house you don’t have to worry about running into someone you don’t want to talk to.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

If I was in Jaws, instead of wishing for a bigger boat, I probably would have just asked for a smaller shark.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Horoscope: Many good things are in store for you! Unfortunately, the store is closed for repairs.

Making waves on TikTok:

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.

Breaking via Telegram:

“You’re at the age where both 1990 and 2003 are flirting with you.”

Funny rocket quotes

Funny rocket quotes 🚀✨ blast off into laughter with witty and out-of-this-world humor! Whether you’re a space nerd 🪐 or just love clever jokes, these quotes will launch your mood to new heights 🌟. Get ready to orbit around some cosmic comedy and rocket-fuel your day with smiles 😄🔥!

New funny rocket quotes 👇

All funny rocket quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on Slack this month:

Cupid’s arrow should have just killed me instead.

43 shares on Slack this month:

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

65 shares on Instagram this month:

There’s nothing better than knowing that you don’t have to set an alarm clock for the next day.

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“You’re a psychopath!” At least I’m on a path, babe, sort your life out.

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Bought a pair of night vision goggles so that I can easily find the fridge at night without waking my wife.

29 shares on YouTube this month:

If you have a Roomba, but don’t dress it up in little outfits, then what are you even doing?

39 shares on Reddit this month:

If you like constant interruptions when you’re trying to get something done, then parenting might be for you.

18 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

82 shares on Snapchat this month:

Still writing the old year on all my ransom notes.

95 shares on Reddit this month:

My advice to kids in kindergarten is to start saving all the money.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

There is no physiological reason to yell when you sneeze. People who do that are simply weak and rude.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Chill, folks, it’s just a simulation.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Women who don’t check a man’s phone will still use their intuition and dreams to find out if he’s cheating.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The little umbrella is so unnecessary. Like, my drink is already wet, bro.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is strange. We come into the world with nothing, then we struggle for everything, and finally, we leave with nothing.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t even get into my car if you’re just gonna scream every time I hit something.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

King-sized beds: Because you both want to sleep on the same mattress, but not in the same zip code.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Congratulations to the people who never took their Christmas decorations down. You’re almost there.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I thought Game of Thrones was a pooping contest for men.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,740

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

I love beating a dead horse with the girls. There is nothing better than a Saturday night rehashing, and never letting that horse rest in peace.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

If you ever wanted to know anything about me, just get me a bottle of wine, and you will, in fact, find out in about 10 minutes.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Golf would be more exciting to watch if they played naked.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Democracy is a fine thing. The bad thing is that the stupid people are allowed to take part.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Nothing ruins my day quite like getting out of bed and dealing with people.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

I go to tattoo parlors and trick them into shaving my leg for me, and then leave.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

You should get a pension for having to go to school for so many years.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

You amuse me, Jester. You may enter my bed chambers.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

They should invent someone who holds me.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

I’ll never tell anyone your secret because that would mean talking to people.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

I’m gonna start cursing people out but with biblical phrases like I hope your crops wither and bear no fruit and the ravens eat your mustard seeds.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Sorry for the things I said when I thought you weren’t listening.

Just shared via Twitch:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a neurosurgeon in the middle of brain surgery.

Just shared via Facebook:

I’ve got the nativity scene facing the TV, so baby Jesus can watch “Die Hard.”

Seen just now on YouTube:

Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it’s empty.

Breaking via TikTok:

If you can’t handle me at my weirdest, then leave, because it gets weirder.

Seen just now on Discord:

Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Going bananas on Threads:

I want to have a penguin that just waddles up to me whenever I’m sad.

Making waves on Twitch:

I told the trees what you did. Be wary when you enter the forest next.

Trending via Discord:

ROMO (relief of missing out)

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