Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

I don’t give people directions. What if no one wants them there?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Sometimes I wanna delete all my social media and throw my phone into a river.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

I love that cats slap the shit out of everything they can’t understand.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m not addicted to coffee. We’re just very close.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

I need a job where I don’t actually have to work.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Don’t worry, guys. Together we can eliminate logic and reason on social media. I see some of you are already ahead of the game. Way to go!

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

I only sleep so my phone can get the night off.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating all the sweets myself.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

I can still drop it like it’s hot. It’s just a lot harder to pick it back up.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

If a woman says “Do what you want!”, then for God’s sake don’t do what you want!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,486

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they are dead.

Spotted on Messenger:

Before I work on myself, does anyone like me unhinged?

Seen just now on Telegram:

I’ve never wished a man dead, but I’ve read some obituaries with great pleasure.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Sorry I was late, I was frantically applying to other jobs.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’m looking for friends with benefits. And by that I mean friends who have pools, boats and beautiful vacation homes.

Shared recently on Twitch:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

Going bananas on YouTube:

We all have that person who insists on using a blanket on the couch, no matter the weather.

Seen just now on Slack:

Finally it’s Friday and I can go out. I’m putting the garbage out and I’ll be right back.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’m ugly but I can make u laugh.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Is it smoky eye or were you wearing mascara and your eyes got itchy?

Funny selection quotes

Funny selection quotes bring a burst of laughter to those tough decision moments 🎯😂 Whether you’re picking teams, choosing snacks, or deciding what to watch, these witty lines add a splash of humor to every choice 🍕🎬 Ready to turn indecision into pure fun? Let’s dive into some side-splitting gems that make selection struggles totally worth it! 🎉🔥

New funny selection quotes 👇

All funny selection quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on TikTok this month:

The downside to getting in a hammock is having to get out of the hammock.

26 shares on X this month:

Have you tried making guacamole about it?

29 shares on Facebook this month:

“How am I supposed to avoid Al when I’ve procrastinated on a paper?” With a night full of caffeine and nicotine like your forefathers, you babies.

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

Establish dominance by eating a salad in front of your indoor plants.

87 shares on TikTok this month:

My neighbor won’t stop talking about his Rolex and I can’t believe someone stole it tomorrow.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

35 shares on Instagram this month:

If they can make a nuclear reactor small enough to power a submarine, why can’t they make one for my house?

26 shares on Discord this month:

Do crabs underwater think that fishes fly?

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I have found that there is usually a lot of day left at the end of my patience.

60 shares on Messenger this month:

Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My weight loss journey is just the three hours in between meals.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

When someone yells stop, I don’t know if it’s in the name of love, it’s hammer time, or if I should collaborate and listen.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Please don’t match my crazy. One of us has to be rational here, and it’s definitely not going to be me.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Being alone is my favourite way of being.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I have officially reached the age where I am bothered by lights being on, doors left open, loud noises, and people.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

They should make a separate airport for people who know how to act like they’ve been out in public before.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Have you fallen in love with me yet, or do I need to post more nonsense?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

A general rule of parenting: if you’re having a great day, the day isn’t old enough yet.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Every day when I get home, I thank my cats for allowing me to live in their house.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Never share a secret with a clock. Because time will tell.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,596

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Forget mini pizzas. I want one so big it needs a forklift to rotate it.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

I love how this generation broke the previous misconception that “people with tattoos can’t get good jobs” and now we all agree that “people with and without tattoos can’t get good jobs”.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Nothing bad can happen while you’re under a blanket. Just remember that.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you lost was a normal pigeon.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

If your boyfriend insists he rolls everywhere because it’s ‘faster than walking’, you may be dating a gamer.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Don’t wait until you’re on your death bed to let them know how you feel. You may be too weak to raise your middle finger.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

My girlfriend? You wouldn’t know her, she’s in a different data center.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

No, babe, your 10-minute incremental alarms starting a full hour before you actually get up only make me love you more.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I’ve sacrificed a sheep.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Shopping at the dollar store makes me feel rich and poor all at the same time.

Making waves on Facebook:

I quit boxing the moment I realized my opponent was allowed to punch me in the face, too.

Just landed via WeChat:

Nothing like waking up on a Friday and finding out it’s Tuesday.

Going viral on WeChat:

Maybe the elephant doesn’t want to be addressed, and we should respect their boundaries.

Spotted on Messenger:

Time needs a speed limit.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Relationship goal: synchronizing our eye rolls.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I wear sunglasses when I’m driving so nobody knows I’m asleep.

Trending via Pinterest:

Notice how Lorde has a song called “Tennis Court” and not “Pickleball Court”? Tired of y’all pushing that fake sport.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.

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