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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

I am “I can’t remember the last time I went out on New Year’s Eve” old.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

It’s so cold outside I saw a gangster pull his pants up and walk stiffly.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

This year has been the perfect blend between me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore I think. Therefore I am. I think.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

The laundromat should give you XP and ranks like “Slimelord” and “Glunkfather,” based on how dirty your clothes are.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

9 minutes ago

3,419

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Nobody victim blames more than my oldest son when he’s in trouble for punching his little brother.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Having a job is cool, but everyday? Come on!

Seen just now on Discord:

They should have a section on the wing of the plane where people can go out for a cigarette.

Going viral on Slack:

Can someone call my keys? I forgot where I put them.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

Reported on Slack:

“I can’t possibly lose this if I put it here” I say to myself before completely forgetting where here is.

Just shared via Messenger:

Weekends are getting shorter and shorter. You blink and it’s already Sunday 5pm.

Live now on Messenger:

I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Welcome to the internet, where people are confidently wrong all the time.

Breaking via Instagram:

Every time your mom tells you that she wants the best for you, she is talking about me.

Home » Funny Self-criticism Quotes

Funny self-criticism quotes

New funny self-criticism quotes 👇

2 weeks ago
Share →: Days without shaking my head disapprovingly at myself: 0.

Commentary:
"Note to self: If I shake my head any harder, it might just unscrew! 🤔🤣 #SelfDisapprovalChamp"
5 months ago
Share →: Nobody is meaner to me than me. So take your shot.

Commentary:
"Who needs enemies when you have yourself as a critic? 🤷‍♂️🔫 Go ahead, self, hit me with your best shot! 💥😂"
6 months ago
Share →: My mama didn’t raise a quitter, she raised a burnt out perfectionist who is sometimes bludgeoned into settling for mediocrity.

Commentary:
Well, it seems like your mama unintentionally planted the seeds of irony in your garden of ambition! 🌱🔥 Sometimes striving for perfection can feel like sprinting in quicksand, right? 🏃‍♂️💨 But hey, settling for mediocrity is just another fancy term for "making peace with imperfection"! 😉👌 Don't worry, your mama's still proud – she just has a unique way of showing it! 🙌

For even more funny self-criticism quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny self-criticism quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

9 minutes ago

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

I hate when cashiers feel the need to check if my money is real. If I could make counterfeit money, I wouldn’t be at the Dollar Tree, Karen.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

I’m not alone. I have ants.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Don’t cry because it’s over. Cry because you have an extra hour to think about it.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Once married, the woman takes over the entire closet and the man stores everything he owns in his left cargo pocket.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Work meetings would be a lot more fun if they took place in a giant IKEA ball pit.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Men only have money the first month of dating, that’s recruitment budget, never confuse it with operational budget.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

My problem with Christmas shopping is that I keep seeing things that I like… for me.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

If only men knew the power “I made reservations, I’ll pick you up at 7” held instead of “I don’t know, whatever you wanna do.”

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

If you give me a serious answer to a silly question, I’m giving you a wedgie.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

If you get injured playing peekaboo, you end up in the ICU.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

People will name their dog Steve and have two kids named Buddy and Rocket.

Seen just now on Reddit:

They should invent a rom-com where no one has to overhear anything that leads to a huge unnecessary misunderstanding.

Shared recently on Threads:

THRILLED to announce I did an Ironman this weekend! Attended 3 social gatherings in 3 days.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Nutrition labels should include an “What if I ate the whole thing” section.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

Trending via Instagram:

I used to schedule naps, but now they’re little surprise parties my body throws at all hours of the day.

Making waves on X:

Is everything expensive or am I just poor?

Trending via Messenger:

Why does it take 5-7 days to refund me when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out?

Making waves on YouTube:

I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.

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