Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Sometimes nature makes art, like trees, waterfalls, and the human butt.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

If Microsoft Edge is brave enough to ask to be your default browser, you can be brave enough to ask that girl out.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Dating after 40 is like trying to find the least damaged item at the thrift store that doesn’t smell.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

I would never put up a lost dog poster. I’m not letting the whole neighborhood know I fumbled.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

My first mistake of my life was my birth.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

The empty spot in your bed is for snacks, not liars.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Don’t worry, bro. She’s probably just working on a puzzle right now. She’ll get back to you.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Did you know that if you listen to any Black Sabbath album backwards, you can hear them singing backwards?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,316

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

My Mom asks why everything is on the floor, like she never heard of gravity.

Seen just now on WeChat:

My toxic trait is destroying my room every time I get dressed.

Just landed via WeChat:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a kid that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Going bananas on Slack:

Maybe I died of Covid in 2020, and this is hell.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Can I come over and overstay my welcome?

Just landed via Slack:

That moment when it’s January in a couple of weeks, and you realize you are still trying to lose weight from last January.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

They should make you watch a training video and pass a little test before you’re allowed to touch the office coffee maker.

Shared recently on YouTube:

To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I don’t know much, but I know this: the older you get, the faster the number of things you’re willing to wait in line for approaches zero.

Spotted on Slack:

I know it hurts like hell, and you don’t think you can do it, but it’s just one push-up.

Funny shrink quotes

Funny shrink quotes bring a hilarious twist to the world of therapy and psychology 😂🧠 Whether you’re a couch regular or just curious, these witty sayings lighten the mood and remind us that even minds need a good laugh! Prepare to smile, chuckle, and maybe relate a little too much 😜💬 Therapy has never been this entertaining!

New funny shrink quotes 👇

All funny shrink quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Twitch this month:

Songs discovered from movies are usually a masterpiece.

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A hot coffee and a crispy bagel doesn’t change anything but it can’t hurt.

94 shares on WhatsApp this month:

There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you pretend you’re erasing the evidence of a murder while cleaning the bathroom, you’ll do a better job, and it actually becomes fun!

79 shares on Instagram this month:

Things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room, and you only went in there sometimes.

78 shares on YouTube this month:

They should invent weekends that are long-lasting.

93 shares on Facebook this month:

Life is what happens in between trips to the fridge.

23 shares on Messenger this month:

My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

39 shares on Twitch this month:

How many calories do you burn waiting to hear back?

39 shares on TikTok this month:

If she replies to your sarcasm with more sarcasm, that’s a whole life.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I get at least 1,000 steps in waiting for my food to be done in the microwave.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

When younger I would walk up to the counter and the bartender would know me by name. Now it’s my pharmacist.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Apparently, responding to a wedding invitation with “maybe next time” is wrong. I know that now.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I like smoke and lightning, your honor, heavy metal thunder, racing with the wind. You know that feeling I am under.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

“Love is in the air.” Wrong. Microplastics.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Waking up has backfired on me so many times.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Please don’t dm me with the intention of dating me. You deserve less.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so funny how you can meet someone randomly online, and they become such an important part of your life. It’d be nicer if they lived closer, though.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s the weekend, so naturally, I’m going to spend 48 hours doing nothing, and still be exhausted.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,664

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

That bourbon chicken from the mall only tastes good on that toothpick. You order it, and it’s not the same, I swear.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

What I’ve learned in all these years of marriage is how to open a bottle of beer silently.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

I love tennis but never really been clear why they need a lifeguard.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” is not a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

If I wore a mood ring, it would probably explode immediately.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

My kid tells me his toothpaste is “too spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Sorry, I’m poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

I’ve faced more peer pressure to watch certain TV shows than to do drugs.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

January 1st always feels like a Sunday, regardless of what day it’s actually on.

Going viral on X:

Twitter is great because you can get good life advice from other emotionally unstable adults.

Just landed via Discord:

If you knock down a policeman, they’ll get backup.

Making waves on Threads:

Strict parents raise good liars.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Pretty sure I need to go back to bed and sleep for 3 days.

Seen just now on X:

They should invent a grocery store that’s just for me and no one else.

Live now on Snapchat:

Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.

Making waves on Twitch:

Girlhood is taking hundreds of pictures only to post one or none at all.

Going viral on Snapchat:

The smarter we make the A.I., the less it wants to do our jobs.

Making waves on Discord:

“I have an AI boyfriend.” No, you don’t. It’s Adam and Eve or Adam and Steve, not Adam and USB.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴