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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Always funny to see motivational posts from people I know are toxic in real life.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Coworkers are funny. You could see a guy every day for 5 years then he quits and you never see or even think about him again.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

My kids think I’m going to miss them when they leave for college, but I’ll be busy drinking my coffee while it’s still hot.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

My New Years resolutions are to do some things, and stop doing some other things.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

The secret ingredient to being really funny is childhood trauma.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Self-awareness is such a two-edged sword. Like, yay, I know myself better, but at what cost?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

When a door closes in life, sometimes it’s better to grab a hammer and nails and make sure the damn thing stays shut.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

I hope “be the light you want to see in the world” doesn’t refer to Molotov Cocktails.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

I have browser tabs open that are older than you.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

I miss my kids the most when they go to bed and the mosquitoes go after me because they have no other options.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

14 minutes ago

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

Tell me I’d look good in a potato sack or lose me forever.

Spotted on YouTube:

If my wife and I got divorced and moved to separate states, I’m convinced I would still hear her chewing.

Breaking via Pinterest:

My retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding a buried treasure at some point.

Making waves on Slack:

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

Spotted on X:

Exercise won’t cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

Trending via Instagram:

I’m ready for a new relationship. My past is buried in the backyard, to fertilize the tomatoes.

Just landed via TikTok:

You told your cat how much you love him, but now it’s morning, the sun is out, you’re sober, and it’s just weird for both of you.

Just landed via Facebook:

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I would love to see AI be unemployed.

Making waves on Threads:

In America we have marijuana. In France they have oui’d.

Home » Funny Shrink Quotes

Funny shrink quotes

New funny shrink quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: I’d like to shrink you down and add you to my keychain.

Commentary:
"Wow, talk about taking friendship to a whole new level! 🤏🔑 Just imagine carrying a mini version of your friend around everywhere you go. They'd be your little sidekick, always there when you need them – just make sure not to lose your keys or you might misplace your friend too! 😂 #FriendshipGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: Which one of you shrunk all of my jeans?

Commentary:
Looks like someone's playing tricks with the laundry again! 👖🧐 Either that or your jeans went on a diet without telling you! 😆 #MysteryOfTheShrinkingJeans

For even more funny shrink quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny shrink quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

14 minutes ago

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

“I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Things I don’t want in my future house: An angry man.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Can’t. Too busy saving daylight.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

if you think i’m rude, you should hear the lil voice in my head.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Want to know what someone is really like? Play Monopoly with them.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

If, I, want to, put, a comma, there, then, I will put, the comma, there.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Every girl is defined by their one lost love. And by that I mean the one fast food item that was discontinued without warning, subsequently ruining their life.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Them: Money doesn’t bring happiness. Me: Pass the money over here, I like to be sad.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early, if you ask me.

Reported on Telegram:

Not to brag, but I ate all of my bananas before they turned brown. Don’t be jealous.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast it had to be done by Elvis.

Live now on Messenger:

Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

Breaking via WeChat:

On average, my daily actions demonstrate I’m probably good at something else.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I don’t understand how people use plastic wrap successfully.

Just landed via Pinterest:

You don’t have to be crazy to hang out with me. I’ll train you.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I didn’t believe in karma until I was scheduled to work at 6am on a holiday.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Mission Impossible theme song plays in my head when I’m trying to remember a password.

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