Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

People on diet aren’t mad at you. They’re mad at their lunch.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Very disappointed to find out that the universal remote control I bought does not control the universe.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

screenshotting people’s close friends and posting it directly to my own story.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

I hate it when what’s wrong asks me what’s wrong.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Even at my most evil, I’m considerate.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

I respectfully ignore DMs because I promise you, I am not your soulmate.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Today I went for a walk with a girl, she noticed me, so we went for a run.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Bought an eggplant, imma grow my own eggs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,538

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

Seen just now on Threads:

Twitter is evidence that insane people can be extremely entertaining from a safe distance.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Gimme coffee or I’ll sleep amok!

Trending via Pinterest:

So heartbreaking to do laundry and realize you can’t wash the clothes you’re literally wearing right now… you will never have a completely fresh start.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I ordered a new umbrella on Amazon and had it delivered straight to the lost and found office to maximize efficiency.

Just landed via Slack:

Yes, I am super annoying, but don’t worry, it’s just permanent.

Spotted on Facebook:

Remember before social media you would have to pick up the phone and call someone to tell them how much you love bacon?

Going viral on Threads:

I can admit that I am intrigued by people weirder than I am.

Spotted on Facebook:

Instead of writing LOL, I’m going to start writing SALTS (smiled a little, then stopped). It’s more accurate.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

Funny sinking quotes

Funny sinking quotes bring a splash of humor to those moments when everything feels like it’s going under 🚢😂! Whether life’s tossing you waves or your plans are sinking fast, these witty lines keep the vibe light and the smiles afloat 🌊😄. Ready to laugh through the chaos and float above the stress? Dive into some hilarious takes on sinking situations that’ll brighten even the stormiest days! 🛟🤣

New funny sinking quotes 👇

All funny sinking quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Facebook this month:

We should bring gargoyles back, more buildings need freaky little guys on them.

42 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

97 shares on Facebook this month:

Work for a living? In this economy?

93 shares on Discord this month:

Fries, not lies.

88 shares on Telegram this month:

My dog sure does give a lot of side eye for someone without a job.

41 shares on Reddit this month:

My robot vacuum and I are cut from the same cloth. When we see a line of dirt on the kitchen floor, we just spin around and go the other way.

75 shares on YouTube this month:

I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

41 shares on Discord this month:

I’m convinced the washing machine is a portal to another dimension for socks.

78 shares on Twitch this month:

If you can reach enlightenment, can you also reach endarkenment?

31 shares on Reddit this month:

Forgetting your phone at home is the modern equivalent of leaving your sword behind in medieval times.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I know I seem a little crazy sometimes, but that’s because I AM.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

“She’s so self-centered”—who’s supposed to be the center of my life? You?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

“Age is just a number!” Yeah, the older I get, the number I feel.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

You guys know your secrets are safe with me. It’s the people I share them with you can’t trust.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing humbles me faster than my phone camera accidentally turning on.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I have noticed something quite worrying: after I buy more things I have less money.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Mothers be doing unnecessary housework and then get mad at you when they’re tired.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My kids wanted a spooky story from the olden days so I told them the internet used to scream when you turned it on.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If I wore a mood ring, it would probably explode immediately.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,260

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

I love when lashes make me look evil.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

I had to quit my job because people kept falling in love with me there.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

A freshly cleaned bathroom triggers an irresistible urge in men to trim their beard.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Pro tip: When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. Now, when you receive spam, you will know who sold your data.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

A friend of mine decided to cut all the toxic people out of his life, or so I was informed.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Relationship goal: synchronizing our eye rolls.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

I love men with a provider fetish.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Good morning only to those who duel at dawn, drink at dusk, and haunt their lovers in between.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

My social circle is so small that when the phone rings, I know it’s scammers.

Seen just now on Discord:

Unknown numbers will call me, then expect me to talk first. Welcome to the breathing competition.

Going viral on Pinterest:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying works.

Breaking via Instagram:

The word synergy sounds like a mix of the words sin and energy. Like, to be debauched but to do it with flair and zest.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Combining breakfast and lunch: Brunch. Combining wine and dinner: Winner.

Seen just now on X:

Sleeping is nice, because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so its a win-win situation.

Going viral on Threads:

The female rage of having so much to say but refusing to say it, cause their emotional intelligence is too low for them to comprehend it.

Just shared via Twitch:

“You’re so self-aware!” Thanks, it’s ruining my life.

Breaking via Messenger:

Googling symptoms until you cry.

Live now on X:

Walking into someone’s house with healthy, thriving houseplants everywhere: “Oh, I see you dabble in witchcraft!”

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