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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Indiana Jones is a fantasy about being a professor with no admin duties.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

That moment when you’ve gone through Insta, Facebook, X and the new emails and you know you should start working now. Luckily, there’s YouTube.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Asking my landlord if he has any Cyber Monday deals.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Adulting is difficult. One minute you’re proud of yourself, the next minute you feel like you’re not doing enough.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Your 20s should be spent nervously sitting on the edge of the bed with rigid posture.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

New year update: losing everything but weight.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

I’m not scared of love, I’m scared of insufficient cash.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

My Mom say that everyone has a beautiful side, so I guess I’m a circle.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Using a remote to type on a keyboard on the TV is truly one of the worst human experiences that we endure.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

One person’s logic is another one’s “what the heck?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,741

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

They should invent a relationship that doesn’t turn into the worst experience of my entire life.

Going bananas on Threads:

I hate managing money, I was born to splurge.

Just shared via WeChat:

Heelys don’t have brakes because my swag rides forever.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Don’t throw a relationship away just because you don’t agree with their choices, unless they wear Crocs, then it’s okay.

Just landed via Reddit:

I wish more modern politics were about trying to stop the fulfillment of an ancient prophecy.

Seen just now on Telegram:

If life has taught me one thing, it’s that I need more money.

Just shared via Messenger:

They should invent health insurance that insures your health.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

No one is excited to see me in shorts except mosquitoes.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Jehovah’s Witnesses tell the worst knock knock jokes.

Funny slam quotes

Funny slam quotes pack a punch with clever burns and witty comebacks that leave everyone laughing 😂💥 Whether you’re gearing up for a friendly roast or just love sharp humor, these zingers hit the spot 🎯🔥 Get ready to sharpen your sass and sprinkle some playful shade in conversations—because nothing beats a good slam delivered with style and a smile 😎✨

New funny slam quotes 👇

All funny slam quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Instagram this month:

If only vehicles could be equipped with little blinky lights on the corners to alert other drivers the direction they wished to turn.

57 shares on WeChat this month:

Every time a bird poops on my car, I eat a plate of wings on the front porch to show them what I’m capable of.

65 shares on YouTube this month:

My dogs don’t feel earthquakes because they have constant gas.

94 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I never give second chances, just 10 and then goodbye.

98 shares on Messenger this month:

One day you’re cool and then the next, you realize your favorite pair of pants are sweatpants from the grocery store.

21 shares on X this month:

People with ADHD be like “I can’t fry an egg, I got too much going on”.

57 shares on Telegram this month:

I can’t believe that it’s our turn to give money to our nephews and nieces.

89 shares on Facebook this month:

Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

55 shares on Reddit this month:

I be having full arguments in my head, then walk around mad like someone actually said something to me.

87 shares on X this month:

It’s way too easy to lie online. I was just telling Beyoncé about that the other day.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If you don’t like sports, you are missing a whole world of easy-going conversations with complete strangers.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

People think I’m a minimalist, but I’m just broke.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

At the airport, and a wife asked her husband, “Where are our seats?” and he responds, “In the airplane.”

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Only a couple more days until I come home and pretend I forgot about Valentine’s Day.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I swear, one more minor inconvenience and I’m running away to join the circus.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I lied, there’s no sex. Can you tell me a bedtime story?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Be nice today, the world is on fire.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

It whistles, doesn’t it? Your head when it’s windy.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,655

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to leave work early.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

The problem with “treat yourself” is that I don’t know how to stop. I had a bad day in March, and I’ve been treating myself ever since.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Went to an antique show and people started bidding on me.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

The real flex is becoming the woman he cannot run back to.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Everyone you don’t like in your personal and professional life is a narcissist.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the best thirst trap poster of them all?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

The older I get, the more I start to understand the appeal of birdwatching as a hobby. I do find myself watching these little troublemakers quite often.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

And then one day, life was like… hold my beer.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Restaurants: put your phone down, live in the moment. Also, scan our QR code and browse our menu.

Just landed via X:

I feel like waking up early on the weekend is so disrespectful.

Just landed via TikTok:

What is it called when you’re smart but everything you do is freaking stupid?

Making waves on Instagram:

The worst is when it’s too late to take a nap but too early to go to bed.

Just shared via YouTube:

Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

Shared recently on Messenger:

If I were a category, I’d be “miscellaneous.”

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I’ve just learned terrible news. My department at work is planning a team-building retreat. Thank you for your thoughts during this difficult time.

Going viral on Twitch:

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

Shared recently on X:

Why learn new slang? Stay bogus.

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