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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Babe, would it kill you to meow back?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

My Native American name would be Smokes Cigarettes.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

The only thing I don’t miss about the 90s is people smelling like cigarettes.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Play your cards right and we could be wearing matching fanny packs this summer.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Blackout curtains because I’ll decide what time it is.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

You know you got a bad haircut when she insists on giving you a $10 discount.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

I miss being a kid. Nobody asks what my favorite dinosaur is anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I asked R2D2, and he said you’re a loser.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Just blocked someone for correcting my spelling and it feelded great.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,471

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via X:

You’re an atheist? Well, I don’t believe you. See how you like it.

Making waves on Instagram:

My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

Going bananas on X:

Growing old is a process of saying “it’s probably nothing,” with increasing frequency and increasingly being wrong.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Tuesday is no better than Monday.

Trending via Reddit:

Adulting is getting excited to go home and get into bed.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The older I get, the more I start to understand the appeal of birdwatching as a hobby. I do find myself watching these little troublemakers quite often.

Just landed via TikTok:

At 30+, I’m like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I’m at 60%.

Trending via Discord:

When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

Spotted on Messenger:

Relationship status: the black mold in my shower thinks I’m cute.

Trending via Discord:

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

Funny social plans quotes

Funny social plans quotes are the perfect way to add a splash of humor to your hangout invites and group chats 😂🎉 Whether you’re canceling last minute or just keeping it real about your weekend vibes, these witty lines will have everyone LOL-ing before the fun even starts 🤪📅 Ready to turn your social calendar into a comedy show? Let’s dive into some hilarious takes on making (or breaking) plans! 🎈🙌

New funny social plans quotes 👇

All funny social plans quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on Reddit this month:

Hug your children as often as you can. They can’t break things during this time.

42 shares on TikTok this month:

Having a daughter is like having a little broke best friend who thinks you’re rich.

12 shares on WeChat this month:

90% of my thoughts start with: “What can I eat now?”

37 shares on X this month:

Having a crush as an adult is soooo embarrassing. I’m literally too old for this. I’m gonna learn how to forge a sword.

15 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m not addicted to coffee. We’re just very close.

27 shares on TikTok this month:

People out there having five-year plans, and here I am waking up just hoping I remember what day it is.

40 shares on TikTok this month:

Don’t throw hate at me, throw money!

13 shares on Instagram this month:

The 70s, 80s, and 90s were the best decades – so many memories, no evidence.

69 shares on Discord this month:

Imagine if every time you stepped into an elevator, it played the “Mission Impossible” theme.

90 shares on Facebook this month:

What part of “hiii” do you not get? I’m in love with you.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody watches you harder than people who don’t like you, so give them a show they will never forget.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My doctor told me to try a milk bath. Adding the Cinnamon Toast Crunch was my idea.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t be ashamed to fart while you urinate, cause there is no rain without thunder.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is nobody questioning the quietness of the cosmos?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

December turns me into someone who believes a fat man with a beard can fix everything.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Have you tried making guacamole about it?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t simply want to kill a mosquito; I want to bite them back over and over to make them itch.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve never met a cake I didn’t want to fork.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Please respond to the messages I almost sent you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,614

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

You’re like if “nope” was a person.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I’d like to place an order for a large kiss and an extra-long hug.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

I should go to jail so I can focus on the gym.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

My toxic trait is optimism.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Are cassette tapes considered classical music yet?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

We went out on a boat to see whales and the crew encouraged us to clap and cheer for the whales and boo at the regular fish.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

So far, no one has seriously tried to bribe me, which is a shame because I am extremely corrupt. Maybe I need a position with more power.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera!

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Many people love saying, “Get these away from me,” after eating a few chips.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

It’s okay if you don’t like me, not everyone has good taste.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

If I complain about being out of shape, I don’t actually want fitness tips and workouts to try. I just want to complain and remain out of shape. What is wrong with you people?

Shared recently on TikTok:

Letting her be the passenger princess cause I care about my safety.

Just landed via Twitch:

Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Never forget that your fave celebs were trying to sell you cartoon monkey pictures during a pandemic.

Spotted on Twitch:

Nobody can ragebait as successfully as your own mother can.

Breaking via TikTok:

My dad once sneezed so hard that he set every clock back two hours.

Spotted on Instagram:

An alcoholic morning show host becoming Secretary of War is some Kurt Vonnegut shit.

Going viral on Twitch:

Real lovers are currently single, by the way.

Breaking via WeChat:

You’re an adult if you’re happy every time the mailbox is empty.

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