Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

How did the person who invented the spelling of “banana” decide when to stop?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

One time, I was so high my bra unclasped, and I thought I got shot.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Rare earth, this rare earth, that. There’s nothing more rare on this earth than affordable housing in a walkable neighborhood.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, forcing myself to take out the garbage, wash dishes, do a load of laundry, and vacuum has improved my mental health tenfold.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Finally, we’re living through precedented times.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

If you think my heart is cold, you should feel my feet.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

No one told me middle age would be so fuzzy, and if you are wondering whether I mean my eyesight or my facial hair, yes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,674

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Twitch:

It should be socially acceptable to just face the wall at a party when you need a break from talking.

Going viral on Discord:

Is it too late to reset my life back to factory settings?

Seen just now on Twitch:

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Nobody says “boom shakalaka” like they used to.

Seen just now on YouTube:

If I had known I looked this sexy in glasses, I would’ve stopped being able to see a long time ago.

Trending via Twitch:

Marriage is like a phone call at the night: First there’s the ring, and then you wake up.

Trending via TikTok:

Dear God, thank you for the job I have. But if you have a lottery win planned for me, I’m ready! Thank you.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Guys with grey in their beards will do that thing you like.

Spotted on Twitch:

My daughter says I’m making it up! Do you remember having to carry a quarter for the payphone, just in case?

Just landed via Discord:

Hannibal Lecter didn’t have to be a serial killer, he was scary enough as a foodie.

Funny social plans quotes

Funny social plans quotes are the perfect way to add a splash of humor to your hangout invites and group chats 😂🎉 Whether you’re canceling last minute or just keeping it real about your weekend vibes, these witty lines will have everyone LOL-ing before the fun even starts 🤪📅 Ready to turn your social calendar into a comedy show? Let’s dive into some hilarious takes on making (or breaking) plans! 🎈🙌

New funny social plans quotes 👇

Sorry, I can’t come over tonight. I’ve become too invested in these fictional characters and whether or not they will kiss.

3 weeks ago

character, characters, entertainment, excuse, fictional, fictional character, humor, i, invested, kiss, over, plans, procrastination, relationship, social, social plans, sorry, tonight, too
I need one of those jobs they have in sitcoms, where it pays my rent but interferes with exactly zero of my social plans or situations.

1 month ago

balance, exactly, humor, i, job, jobs, need, plans, rent, sitcom, situation, situations, social, social plans, where, work life, work-life balance
Sorry, can’t make it, just remembered I don’t want to.

1 month ago

avoidance, cancel, excuse, honesty, humor, i, just, plans, procrastination, social, social plans, sorry, want

All funny social plans quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Messenger this month:

This too shall pass. And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never fucking ends.

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer to the end you get, the faster it goes.

28 shares on Pinterest this month:

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

11 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

42 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

25 shares on Messenger this month:

“It could be drugs,” I tell myself as I buy more books.

81 shares on Messenger this month:

When your kid asks you where the other parent is, they’re really saying that they’d like to speak with the manager.

94 shares on Messenger this month:

Men who tell their woman she’s pretty, for no particular reason, keep that shit up.

12 shares on Snapchat this month:

Keep scrolling, I’ve got nothing.

18 shares on Messenger this month:

The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is sleeping at night so hard, but sleeping in the morning is like drifting away on a soft, fluffy cloud while Adele sings you a lullaby?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Seems like the ‘how to use a fire extinguisher’ video on YouTube shouldn’t have a 30-second ad before it.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I’m late. Had to scroll back to my birth year.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

We should just cancel April Fools Day this year. No prank can top reality right now.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My CV is so good, companies are still reading it for 9 months.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I’m late. The door said PULL, but I don’t believe everything I read.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t really want to have 6-8 pints and a takeaway tonight, but it’s Friday and rules are rules.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The rumors of my will to live have been greatly exaggerated.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Genuinely, why does the logo of every AI chatbot look like a butthole?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Body: Time to sleep. Brain: Hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,484

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. Like Wednesday.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

If the earth is so flat, explain why cats haven’t pushed everything off it yet. You can’t.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Type of person to take the long way home just to listen to more music.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Why is everyone so chill about parrots being able to talk? That’s a whole animal. Talking.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Software engineers are the dumbest smart people I’ve ever met.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

“Quit” is not in my vocabulary but “resign”, “drop out”, and “give up” are.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

I am listening to Pharrell Williams’ smash hit song “Happy,” and understanding for the first time that it was truly intended to distress.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

One minute you’re young and fun, the next you’re excited about a new vacuum cleaner.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

I’m not really a “glass half full” kind of person. I’m more of a “Where’d I put my glass?” kind of person.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WeChat:

I’m just a Whole Foods girl on a Walmart budget.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I want to text this person, but I need to have shame and self-respect.

Making waves on Reddit:

I’m old enough to remember when regular websites were usable.

Making waves on YouTube:

Tuah Kill a Hawkingbird

Making waves on Snapchat:

Currently helping my kids find the chocolate that I ate last night.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Me: This is a hard escape room. Manager: You’re at work.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

As a parent of a teenage daughter, I would like to formally apologize to my parents for my tube-top and low-rise jeans era.

Trending via WeChat:

I’m really looking forward to eight hours of thinking about sleep tonight.

Going viral on WeChat:

I went to clean bathroom and I’m 99% sure my kids shoot their toothpaste out of a cannon.

Breaking via Threads:

My boss said he likes how I remain so calm under pressure. Can’t tell him it’s because I don’t give a shit.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴