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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Yawning is the body’s way of telling you it has only 15% battery remaining.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Maturity is when you realize money can actually buy happiness.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Everyone loves a little silent treatment on the weekend.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

I hope none of the people I vowed to “help hide a body” ever actually need my help.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

I only squeak when I’m squoken to.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer the term selective participation.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,578

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

Shared recently on Facebook:

“Thank you for choosing Amtrak.” No problem. There are no other trains.

Just shared via Threads:

I put the hot in psychotic.

Making waves on Discord:

All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

Just landed via Twitch:

Amazing if accurate: bleeding money.

Broadcasted on Slack:

People my age are raising children, and I’m just here trying to bribe myself with treats into doing my own chores.

Spotted on Facebook:

“You live and you learn!” Bro, I don’t want to do either of those things.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Sex is cool but have you ever had a king size bed all to yourself.

Shared recently on TikTok:

The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

Trending via X:

Starting to think I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Funny social plans quotes

Funny social plans quotes are the perfect way to add a splash of humor to your hangout invites and group chats 😂🎉 Whether you’re canceling last minute or just keeping it real about your weekend vibes, these witty lines will have everyone LOL-ing before the fun even starts 🤪📅 Ready to turn your social calendar into a comedy show? Let’s dive into some hilarious takes on making (or breaking) plans! 🎈🙌

New funny social plans quotes 👇

All funny social plans quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

I made all my money in the 80s selling Rubik’s Hammers. They were for those cubes that thought they were smarter than you.

57 shares on Messenger this month:

I think everyone should get $500 deposited into their accounts every day, just for waking up.

46 shares on WeChat this month:

There are people who leave comments on porn videos.

47 shares on WeChat this month:

“You’re crazy.” God forbid I keep my family traits alive.

15 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m so single right now that I stood on a cliff and shouted, “I love you,” and my echo replied, “I just wanna be friends.”

26 shares on Threads this month:

Gimme coffee or I’ll sleep amok!

59 shares on Slack this month:

My superpower is giving you the middle finger using my eyes only.

60 shares on WeChat this month:

Sorry for acting weird. It’s just that I mirror people, and you were being weird first.

24 shares on Messenger this month:

Sometimes you just need a Saturday to sleep all day and do absolutely nothing.

21 shares on X this month:

There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do absolutely nothing.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The Velvet Underground probably wouldn’t have been so influential if I was at their shows with a giant magnet and pulled their guitars out of their hands.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Apparently, telling your friends not to stress about their wedding because “it’s your first marriage” is not the right thing to say.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The zero likes won’t stop me from posting. I will talk to myself if I have to.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I like to establish dominance by yawning the minute someone tries to make small talk with me.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I identify as a weather forecast: Anything’s possible.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The three people who like every single one of my posts are going in my will.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If adulting had a return policy, I’d use it immediately.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Your 20s are for lusting after furniture you can’t afford actually.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,475

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Weekends are getting shorter and shorter. You blink and it’s already Sunday 5pm.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Y’all ever feel like your mouth is stupid but your mind is smart? Like you’re intelligent but you can’t express it when you’re speaking? It’s so frustrating.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

The world is my ostrich, or whatever.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Be the reason why your local woods are haunted.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Not wearing glasses anymore, I’ve seen enough.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Next on Tiny Houses: A family of 6 moves into a boat emoji.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

I think that police officers on foot should wear blue flashing sneakers.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

House sitting for friends while they’re out of town. Never knew my buddy kept a diary.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

This entire year has been the Nightmare Before Christmas.

Going viral on X:

If you have children, you can experience all human emotions before 9 a.m. on Sundays.

Breaking via Messenger:

When gearing up for a mountain climbing adventure it is important to remember to no.

Live now on Threads:

There is nothing worse in life than calling customer service and hearing an Indian accent.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Texting my boss to let him know how excited I am for work tomorrow.

Just landed via Facebook:

I support robot taxis. How else are robots supposed to get around?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

Trending via WeChat:

You should get a pension for having to go to school for so many years.

Spotted on TikTok:

Livin’ la vida vodka!

Going viral on Discord:

The tarot lady on my TikTok said that you miss me.

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