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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

At my age, I see no good reason to act my age.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

April fools prank: replace all the sugar in your house with cocaine.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

When a lady compliments your facial hair, have the goddamn decency to compliment hers.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

I have absolutely no desire to stay in the loop.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

The reason I don’t trust polls is because the people being polled are people who willingly answer the phone when an unknown number is calling them.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Grab your own butt! Love yourself!

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Doc, if I can vibecode anything and everyone else can vibecode anything, then what’s my competitive advantage?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

They say there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but then they’ll go and wake you up to ask if you’re asleep.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,515

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

If you see me looking zoned out, it’s because I’m having a therapy session with myself in my head.

Just landed via Instagram:

Going to the beach is 99% getting ready for the beach and 1% enjoying the beach.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Am I the only one who prays about everything? Like, ‘God, please help me find where I dropped my AirPods.’

Breaking via WhatsApp:

“I’m not even close to how crazy I’m legally entitled to be.”

Making waves on Reddit:

I don’t like the person I become when my boss tells me I should be working while at work.

Just shared via X:

Scooby-Doo led me to believe that if I were ever really scared, I should run super-fast in place.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Be the lemon you want the world to hand to others.

Broadcasted on X:

You can just make up words and if you say them in a Scottish accent, people will think they’re real: Looka the wee janglers on that tary bibbit.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Glad to be born at a time when I got to see what life was like before the internet, and will be dead before AI completely destroys humanity.

Going bananas on TikTok:

I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.

Funny standing up quotes

Funny standing up quotes are perfect for adding a burst of laughter to your day 😂 Whether you’re powering through a tough crowd or just need a little motivation with a side of humor, these witty lines will have you standing tall and smiling 😄💪 Get ready to lift your spirits and maybe even your posture with some clever, laugh-out-loud moments that prove standing up isn’t just about being serious! 🎉✨

New funny standing up quotes 👇

All funny standing up quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Twitch this month:

Having to choose between an old guy or a convicted felon is a perfect depiction of what dating apps are Iike.

63 shares on Twitch this month:

Note to self: No more bitching about ugly furniture with people at IKEA whose home you haven’t been to yet.

80 shares on Slack this month:

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

74 shares on YouTube this month:

If you’re wondering how motherhood is going, I’m watching a TV show and someone is in traction with a full body cast and I sighed and said “That looks so relaxing”

62 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Rappers be making you feel guilty for no reason at all: “You was in the house eating dinner while I was in the streets hungry”. Like my fault, bro.

10 shares on Pinterest this month:

Hey, sorry I can’t go out tonight. I already showered and got into bed, and now I’m busy rubbing my feet together like a little grasshopper.

58 shares on Messenger this month:

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a few minutes.

37 shares on Telegram this month:

With a cat on your lap, you deal better with the crap.

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

“You’re a cardiologist? Is that like a fancy name for an auto mechanic?”

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t talk to me while my earphones are in, man, I’m at a concert.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss my kids the most when they go to bed and the mosquitoes go after me because they have no other options.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s really hard to come back after a poorly executed high five.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Showing your emotions to the wrong people is like bleeding next to a shark.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so hot here, I’m breaking a sweat just bitching and moaning about it.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Be the reason why a count unleashes ancient horrors onto the world when he thinks of you.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I just want peace, not a notification every time someone breathes.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

RIP to everyone killed by the Gods for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the Gods.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I have a question and my question is, how can I look so cute in the mirror but like such a baked potato in pictures?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,673

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

The ideal man is always thinking of several cool things at once (throwing a football really far, a truck with big wheels, giving a lot of high fives).

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Strange new trend at the office. People putting names on food in the company fridge. Today I had a tuna sandwich named Linda.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Can’t believe, as a kid, I thought 21-year-olds had their lives figured out.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

I’ve been asked to join a swingers club, but I’m a little nervous. What if I’m not good enough? I haven’t been on a swing since I was 9.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

No email needs to tell me not to reply.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

If you need me, I will be at the library sniffing old books.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

The biggest first-world problem is having your favorite makeup product be discontinued.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Hate when I have to be mean. Why would you push a sweet girl this far?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Some days you have breakfast for dinner and live life on your own terms.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Crazy part about being an overthinker is most times you right.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

I’m not saving daylight. I’m the one that needs saving.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

An escape room, but it’s a bean bag chair in a hammock on a water bed in a bouncy house and you’re over 40. Good luck!

Shared recently on Slack:

The world would be a much nicer place if we just turn off the news.

Making waves on X:

Waiting for my wife to approve my new year’s resolution of making independent decisions.

Spotted on Telegram:

I need to go to jail for a while to catch up on all my reading.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have a favorite vegetable peeler.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Building a snowman so I can punch it in the face.

Making waves on Reddit:

If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.

Trending via Telegram:

Micro-dosing time travel by going to bed.

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