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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

And no thanking Jesus unless he actually shows up at the ceremony.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

I love replying to people within seconds. Hello. I am here. Always.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Coffee doesn’t solve all my problems. But it definitely stops me from constantly creating new ones.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Lord, please take this gas out of my stomach and put it in my car.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

I’m trying to shower you with affection. It doesn’t matter how I got into your bathroom.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

They should make a movie that’s good the whole way through.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

I couldn’t work at a zoo. I’d have a penguin in my car by the end of the shift.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Haggis – the meal you have to stomach twice.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

29 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

Sucking melted cheese off the burger wrapper as God intended.

Freshly posted on Threads:

They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind.

Trending via Twitch:

Got a scam email full of mistakes like they’re not even trying. It won’t be long before AI takes their jobs.

Making waves on Discord:

This Monday could have been an email.

Just landed via Telegram:

If you ever need me, call me any time, day or night, and I’ll return your call when I get around to it.

Live now on Threads:

That moment you turn down the music while driving around looking for a street address, so you can see better.

Just shared via Instagram:

See you when you get home from school, I whisper to my kid’s apple.

Making waves on Slack:

Dear recipe websites. I don’t need your life story. Just give me the recipe.

Making waves on Facebook:

Texting random numbers “It’s done.”

Just landed via TikTok:

Imagine how loud a centipede would be if they wore tiny little flip flops.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

29 minutes ago

Users Online

3,430

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Adulthood means trying to convince yourself that the font is just too small and that it isn’t your eyesight going bad.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Oasis didn’t just write good songs. They wrote the soundtrack for a whole generation.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Please don’t take illegal substances. Or at least, don’t take MY illegal substances.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Why do we call it tuna fish? Is there any other tuna out there that’s not a fish?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

I have a photographic memory, but I’ve run out of film.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I just say “no idea” because I’m too lazy to think.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Spotify has got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

“My family doesn’t have a black sheep,” I say, while everyone avoids eye contact.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on LinkedIn:

I’m having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Don’t hate me because I can fall asleep within seconds; hate me because I can sleep through the night without having to get up to go to the bathroom.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

Reported on Reddit:

But if i put my laundry away, the laundry chair will be out of a job.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Watching “Dirty Dancing” as a teenager: Damn right, no one puts Baby in a corner. Watching “Dirty Dancing” as an adult: This girl is a brat and needs a lesson.

Just landed via Reddit:

Gonna tell my dentist that if I’m late, he should start without me.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Why do people think it’s ok to ask why a person is single? I don’t ask why you’re unhappily married.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. How many minutes did you spend listening to your girlfriend this year?

Going viral on Telegram:

I’ve got the nativity scene facing the TV, so baby Jesus can watch “Die Hard.”

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