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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Halloween is over and most people just keep on being creepy.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

You ask for a Swedish massage and then get mad when I roll meatballs on your back.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Funny thing about zombie movies – they never seem to go after the cameraman.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Go ahead and get some sleep, everyone. I’ll stay up and handle the overthinking.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

I think humans are meant to lay in bed with the love of their life all winter.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

If you ever see me running, it’s either away from my problems or towards an ice cream van.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying ‘Haven’t decided yet’ is typically a good response.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Hey, sorry I cant make it tonight. I am beset on all sides by foes.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Look, 80’s kids went from Inspector Gadget to Terminator so we have a lot of mixed feelings about technology.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,589

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Let’s all stand up against iron deficiency (but not too fast).

Trending via YouTube:

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

More dangerous than a lion that roars is a woman gone silent.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

Spotted on Telegram:

I am “We read the newspaper front to back every single day,” years old.

Just shared via Instagram:

The older I get, the more I hate making extra stops after work. I drive home like I’m late for the house.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Burger King implies the existence of an entire burger based feudal system.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

December turns me into someone who believes a fat man with a beard can fix everything.

Just landed via Telegram:

When I’m on hold and the song ends, I always expect someone to pick up the phone.

Funny surgeon quotes

Funny surgeon quotes bring a dose of laughter to the serious world of medicine 🏥😂 From witty one-liners to clever observations, these gems remind us that even in the operating room, humor finds a way to heal 🎭✂️ Whether you’re a medical pro or just love a good chuckle, get ready to smile with these hilarious insights from those who know the scalpel best! 😄🩺

New funny surgeon quotes 👇

All funny surgeon quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on TikTok this month:

Home is where you can say anything because nobody’s really listening, anyway.

54 shares on Twitch this month:

A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.

100 shares on Pinterest this month:

Nothing worse than when I turn up to Park Run to find it is indeed going ahead.

33 shares on Instagram this month:

I drive safer when there’s food in my passenger’s seat than when there’s a person sitting there.

33 shares on LinkedIn this month:

One of the voices in my head brought up an excellent point, so obviously he had to go.

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

The other day, I got the crazy idea to see if I could still do a cartwheel. I can’t.

42 shares on Telegram this month:

Oh, gross. I didn’t know there was protein in this powder. I was only drinking it for the lead.

80 shares on Threads this month:

Pretending I’m asleep so my boss has to carry me to the meeting.

47 shares on TikTok this month:

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

72 shares on Messenger this month:

Roses are red. Blue got me thinking. I reckon it’s time for some excessive day drinking…

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Nosferatu 2024, Frankenstein 2025, and Werwulf 2026. I was born at exactly the right time.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Parents be like “don’t believe everything you see on the internet” then believe everything they see on Facebook.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

You’ll be watching a series, and they’ll just randomly start playing the best song you’ve ever heard in your life.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The role I play at family gatherings is that of the cousin that doesn’t show up anymore.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

No thanks, I’m already in a committed relationship with reading.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I hated rats even before my girlfriend left me for one.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Plot twist: a Mission Impossible movie where the mission is in fact impossible.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,653

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Printers and computers treat each other like they broke up the night before, and you’re their mutual friend.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with much of anything these days.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Saying “shut up” before skipping the YouTube ad is literally necessary.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Misses Claus only married Santa because of his big sack.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

It’s called Boxing Day because you’re supposed to spend it eating boxes.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

I don’t miss calls, I stare at them.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in a different realm.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

It’s funny how quickly you become difficult if you don’t always just say “yes”.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Please go out, have fun, have friends, make connections. That mysterious lifestyle won’t save you.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

God created childbirth so women could know how men feel when we have a cold.

Going bananas on Threads:

Getting an extra 20 minutes in the day when someone cancels a meeting is like finding a penny on the ground. Not gonna use it for anything, but wow, am I excited.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I’m not bossy, I just know exactly what you should be doing.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Refusing to attend my brother’s gambling intervention until they agree to call it a slot shaming.

Just landed via WeChat:

I’d log off, but I get so tired of hearing myself talk.

Seen just now on Slack:

This Monday could have been an email.

Just landed via Twitch:

Beer is like the color black: it goes with everything.

Seen just now on Facebook:

If you think my heart is cold, you should feel my feet.

Spotted on X:

Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

Seen just now on Facebook:

If I were in charge of Nike, I’d change the slogan to “Just Say You Did It. Nobody Ever Checks.”

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