Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Life hack: Confuse your doctor by putting on gloves at the same time he does.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Dear men, my ‘biological clock’ isn’t my weakness. It’s your final deadline to prove you’re worthy.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Parenting sometimes feels like you’re an elevator. Lots of ups and downs and the kids love to push your buttons.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

My teen is asking for noise-cancelling headphones like I’m going to give him the gift of ignoring me better.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Your woman will take 2 hours to get ready, but if you don’t have your shoes on when she is ready, you’re the problem.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Are you gonna meow for me or what, bro?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Divorcing my wife to focus on my porn addiction.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Before I drink, I eat liver so the liquor won’t know which liver to attack.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

How to have flat stomach: remove all of your organs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,419

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Don’t give up on your dreams. Go back to bed.

Shared recently on Slack:

To everyone I’ve wronged this year. Next year same time, same place.

Freshly posted on Threads:

If sex was real, I think I would’ve had it by now.

Trending via Reddit:

I need someone to convince me into or out of buying a jetski. I can’t keep living in this purgatory.

Making waves on Discord:

ChatGPT’s primary use is to generate plausible excuses to leave dinner at the in-laws’.

Just landed via Messenger:

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

Shared recently on Instagram:

If your girlfriend doesn’t go a little psycho on you from time to time, then she’s not in love with you, sweetie.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Studies show that sleepwalking has decreased among Americans over the last 10 years. Typical lazy Americans.

Going viral on Slack:

Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

Going viral on Snapchat:

It’s like 10,000 steps when all you need is a nap.

Funny talker quotes

Funny talker quotes bring a burst of laughter and wit to any conversation 🎉🗣️ Whether you love chatting nonstop or enjoy clever comebacks, these gems capture the art of gab with humor and charm 😂💬 Perfect for brightening your day or sparking a smile, get ready to celebrate the joy of talking your heart out! 😄✨

New funny talker quotes 👇

All funny talker quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I wonder what other animals we tried to ride before discovering that horses were cool with it.

73 shares on Reddit this month:

While you were rotting and wasting your life away, I was doing the exact same thing.

13 shares on Discord this month:

For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

58 shares on Threads this month:

Imagine surviving Covid 19 and then China releases Covid 19S Plus Pro.

27 shares on YouTube this month:

I need an app that deletes my number from other people’s phones.

50 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I like my mornings to be slow and quiet. I want the day to romance me a bit before it tries to mess me up.

15 shares on TikTok this month:

I could be staring at my hand locking my front door, and I still won’t feel 100% sure my front door was locked.

19 shares on X this month:

Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

21 shares on Twitch this month:

Christmas can be really hard for single people. Everyone else is having a brilliant time and we have to hide the fact that every day is like that for us.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I have been nothing but creepy and aggressive to you. Please respond.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever you are feeling down, remember you’re the sperm that won.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever said “Out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear in their bedroom.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I should have peed before I left, and other things I’ll never learn: A memoir

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I said it was my favorite show, I didn’t say it was good.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Who needs a dominatrix when you can be beaten up by an automatically retracting vacuum cleaner cable?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

You cannot trust me at a zoo because I’ll release the animals.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,633

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Nothing really prepares you for when your favorite sweatpants begin to fall apart.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Tired of my landlord depending on my rent. Bro, get a job.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Got kicked out of reincarnation club for yelling yolo.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

A mustache is just mouth bangs.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

It’s Friday. Rules don’t apply.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

The best thing capitalism has done is put a little window on pasta boxes so the noodles can look out at the world.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

People say 70-80 year olds are unemployable because of mental decline, yet somehow they’re running all the countries.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Brainwashing is always considered terrible and horrible. But there are many brains that would benefit from a wash.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

I’m always sad when my sandwich is over.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Worst part of being in my 20’s is to be reminded that I’m actually in my mid-40’s.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via LinkedIn:

You don’t need to be a good listener as long as you’re a good nodder.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Sometimes I think I should talk to my colleagues more often. Until I talk to my colleagues.

Just shared via Threads:

Touched a tree and accidentally absorbed 400 years of wisdom and 2 squirrel secrets.

Going viral on Instagram:

A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though they know you’re slightly cracked.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Crazy that caffeine has no short or long-term negative side effects. Just a super drug from God.

Just landed via Telegram:

Time to put the stressful screen away (phone) and switch to the comfort screen (Kindle).

Going viral on YouTube:

You ever have your knees crack so good that you expect them to glow in the dark. Yeah, me too.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

If chickens knew how good they tasted, they would understand.

Spotted on Threads:

Before you beef with me, just know I’m deeply malicious to my core once upset.

Just shared via Slack:

French is bullshit. They keep changing the translation of ‘soup du jour’ each day.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴