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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

I do my best to kill everyone with kindness, but they don’t seem to be dying.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

The leading cause for injury in old men is them thinking they are still young men.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper “Nobody cares!”

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

I can do anything, as long as there’s a looming deadline and serious consequences.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

People my age are doing so much, and I’m just at home reliving the same day over and over again.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Whoever came up with the name “dentures” really missed the opportunity to call them “substitooths”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,481

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

A gentleman always straightens out the vending machine after shaking it.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to get home from work tomorrow.

Just landed via Telegram:

I refuse to listen to anyone give commentary on the state of society unless it’s in a TikTok video filmed inside their car.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Christmas combines two things I love the most, getting fat and lying to children.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Not to brag, but I don’t fight with people on the internet.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

So I just checked my bank account, and it looks like for Christmas I am getting everyone the thought that counts.

Just shared via Threads:

French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I like people who make me forget that I’m shy.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Hey, man, we’re worshiping a false god later. If you wanna pull up.

Funny talker quotes

Funny talker quotes bring a burst of laughter and wit to any conversation 🎉🗣️ Whether you love chatting nonstop or enjoy clever comebacks, these gems capture the art of gab with humor and charm 😂💬 Perfect for brightening your day or sparking a smile, get ready to celebrate the joy of talking your heart out! 😄✨

New funny talker quotes 👇

I’m at the age where I won’t make eye contact with someone because they look like a “talker.”

0

2 months ago

age, communication, contact, eye, eye contact, humor, i, interaction, social, social interaction, someone, talker, where
A fly swatter, but for close talkers.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, close, close talker, fly, fly swatter, humor, joke, personal, personal space, social, social awkwardness, space, swatter, talker

All funny talker quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on X this month:

Telling everyone I’m an undecided voter because I need the attention.

38 shares on Discord this month:

Jurassic Park came out decades ago, and now I feel like a fossil.

69 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t understand, but I also don’t care… so it works out.

19 shares on WeChat this month:

Sleep is a free trial of death but with ads.

61 shares on Reddit this month:

Going to all the Halloween parties this year as the Invisible Man.

75 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t understand people who say “I don’t know how to thank you.” Like they never heard of money.

85 shares on Reddit this month:

Guy who normally applauds when the plane lands right before the pilot crashes it: “Boo!”

72 shares on Telegram this month:

I’ll find a cell mate before I’ll ever find a soulmate.

98 shares on Telegram this month:

I am losing touch with reality and I couldn’t be happier.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

This coffee is not coffeeing the way I need it to be coffeeing.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t hurt me. You’re not how I look first thing in the morning.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is pretty much just a series of awkward and embarrassing moments, separated by snacks.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Golf would be more exciting to watch if they played naked.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My ideal workday would be from 9:00 AM to 9:07 AM

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, can you repeat what you said? I didn’t have my glasses on.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Cataclysmic events, such as your fingers on my skin.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I’m late, traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past couple years, and I was not expecting that.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been locked out of Tinder because of “unusual activity”. I must’ve got a match.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,610

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a poorly timed joke that makes everyone feel weird.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Turns out, college is all about forming unspoken, powerful bonds with people you talk to twice.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Main difference between me and my jokes is that folks don’t laugh at my jokes.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

You know IT have given up when the error message reads, ‘Something went wrong’.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

What did people do before eyeglasses, like half the world just walked around not being able to see?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Sometimes I wanna delete all my social media and throw my phone into a river.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

No LinkedIn, I am not “open to work,” I am required to work.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

I may not know what’s going on, but I also have no idea what’s happening.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Doctors don’t really need to hit you with that rubber hammer, it’s just how they release a lil tension through the day.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Most people prefer lies. The truth just hits them like a WiFi outage, and then they just stand there, confused and buffering.

Making waves on YouTube:

Tweeting shouldn’t cost money but it should flip you on your back like a bug for 15 minutes.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

In the 90s, you’d always find your way to some stranger’s house.

Making waves on WeChat:

Hey! Remember in the first grade when we were all just chilling and then some kid would throw up out of nowhere?

Seen just now on Threads:

Babe, are you okay? You haven’t touched your dark humor all day.

Shared recently on Slack:

Opening this app is like lighting a cigarette.

Just landed via Instagram:

Next to nothing is a weird place.

Breaking via Snapchat:

This football season, we need to bring back getting drunk and calling in to your team’s local radio show after the game. Such a lost art.

Just shared via WeChat:

Is it just me, or does anybody else get excited about cancelling plans?

Making waves on Reddit:

Snow White and the seven dwarves of the menopause; Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Forgetful, and Psycho.

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