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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Cleaning the rocks of the earth one load of my kids’ laundry at a time.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Getting older is so fun. Your life goals slowly transition from things like ‘land a dream job’ to ‘successfully grow a cherry tomato.’

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

It’s always a huge relief when I’m reading a list of symptoms of a deadly disease, and it says unexplained weight loss.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

You don’t need to be a good listener as long as you’re a good nodder.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”. So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

My favorite condiment is Worcestershire sauce. Why? It’s hard to say.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Being an adult is crazy. Because what the hell is going on?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

It’s actually crazy we figured out how to grow real diamonds that are cheaper and better quality than the real thing, and so many people are still like, no thanks, the suffering is what makes it special.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Fake laughing with customers is actually a job skill.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

“Where did all your money go?” I’m either wearing it or eating it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,694

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on LinkedIn:

Apologies for the late response, instead of spending three minutes answering your email, I ignored it and felt anxious for two weeks.

Trending via Messenger:

I do not want to have a career. I want to sit on the porch.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.

Spotted on Messenger:

All of my problems boil down to me being bad at being alive.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Turning regret into ulcers since the day I was born.

Going viral on Telegram:

My doctor told me “good luck” and gave me finger guns, so obviously I’m dying.

Just shared via Twitch:

My hobbies include saying, “I’m so tired,” and then staying up for three more hours doing nothing.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Need a book club for people who all just happened to read the same book but hated it and now need to vent.

Making waves on Slack:

Choosing to ignore my strangely symbolic dream because I have a lot going on right now already.

Just shared via Messenger:

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

Funny talker quotes

Funny talker quotes bring a burst of laughter and wit to any conversation 🎉🗣️ Whether you love chatting nonstop or enjoy clever comebacks, these gems capture the art of gab with humor and charm 😂💬 Perfect for brightening your day or sparking a smile, get ready to celebrate the joy of talking your heart out! 😄✨

New funny talker quotes 👇

All funny talker quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on WeChat this month:

Age range on my dating app set to 40+. Y’all fighting over grapes while I’m drinking wine.

42 shares on Snapchat this month:

An article of clothing left on the floor long enough becomes clean again because the germs eventually get bored and leave.

64 shares on Reddit this month:

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

12 shares on Discord this month:

This post is invisible, and only those going to Hell can see it.

34 shares on WeChat this month:

The difference between a songbird and a hummingbird is that one of them knows the lyrics.

39 shares on Slack this month:

No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.

92 shares on WhatsApp this month:

We should put a tariff on being mean to me.

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t drink coffee all the time. I take breaks in between to make another one.

32 shares on Reddit this month:

My save-for-later cart on Amazon is up to about $1.5 million dollars.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so cold outside I saw a gangster pull his pants up and walk stiffly.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

A selfie only a mother could like.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I just need my friends to know I would do absolutely anything for them, except reply to their message.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Gordon Ramsay is only funny because he’s not talking to me like that.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

When I worked as a restaurant critic, I wrote under a nom nom nom de plume.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be turning you into a poem.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know why “you made your bed now lie in it” is a bad thing. It sounds great! I’ll even lie in a bed I didn’t make.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The sexual tension between me and the person I’m not supposed to have any sexual tension with.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Women will invite you to shower with them, then cook you alive with a temperature of water you didn’t know existed.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Make sure you stock up on condoms, so you don’t produce any more idiots.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,677

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

If I met someone like me, I’d be really concerned for them.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Due to personal reasons, I will be screaming into a pillow.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I am convinced that some of you are failed experiments that gained sentience and escaped from a lab.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

That feeling when you take the first bite of your favourite food, that’s called chewphoria.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

You can tell it’s desperate times the way spam messages have gone from fantasies like ‘I am a prince and I want to give you money’ to ‘I am an HR manager and I have a real job for you!’

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

“Don’t shoot your gun at the hurricane” the government says. I’ll do my own research, thanks.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

My toxic trait is thinking every inconvenience is the universe personally attacking me.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Going to look at the small picture for a while. Tired of seeing the big picture. Too much picture.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

I wouldn’t describe myself as an “adult”, per se. More like a “long child”.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Messenger:

Imagine being in the Trojan horse with the lads, pure darkness and giggling like hehehe

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.

Spotted on X:

Americans can choose from over 1,000 breakfast cereals but only two presidential candidates?

Spotted on TikTok:

Three out of five times, my intuition is right. Not in casinos, though.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I really admire the suns ability to be exactly where my car’s visor can’t block it out.

Making waves on Reddit:

Bisexual just means that I wear perfume with my men’s deodorant.

Making waves on Slack:

Life is strange. We come into the world with nothing, then we struggle for everything, and finally, we leave with nothing.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I have some fart jokes I’ve been holding in.

Spotted on WeChat:

I’m gonna start cursing people out but with biblical phrases like I hope your crops wither and bear no fruit and the ravens eat your mustard seeds.

Going bananas on Slack:

Every time you break spaghetti noodles in half, an Italian has a stroke.

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